Meet the Beautiful Little Baby Who Made Nine Months of Hell Worthwhile

In the days following delivery I developed a 102-degree fever, and the doctors determined that there was a small amount of placenta still inside me causing an infection. This was not an unlikely occurrence given my placenta’s reticence to evacuate the premises, but it meant that I had to be re-admitted to the hospital for an immediate D&C (dilation and curettage, which is also sometimes used as an abortion procedure). I was put under general anesthesia and they suctioned out the remaining placenta. I stayed in the hospital for two days afterward on high-dose antibiotics to clear the infection that had developed in my uterus. I had to be away from my daughter, who had so easily taken to breast-feeding, and leave her at home to be formula-fed by Dad.

When I returned home, I was petrified that she wouldn’t return to the breast. But, of course, like the trooper she is (the same girl who developed normally as radiation was shot through my body and I popped pills daily, the same girl whose heart rate stayed steady through 30 hours of labor giving us the time we needed to have a vaginal birth, the same girl who had hungrily clamped on to my breast within the first four hours of her life on this planet), she greeted me with an open mouth and an eager hunger. In the next few days as I recounted the story of the D&C to friends and family over the phone, many of them said the same thing to me, “Man, can’t you catch a break?”

I had one answer: “I did. She’s asleep on my chest right now.” Yes, I had nine months of discomfort punctuated by bouts of debilitating pain and anxiety. Yes, I endured 30 hours of labor, many of which were the most painful of my life. Yes, I had to go back into the hospital, get knocked out and undergo a major surgical procedure. All of that sucked. But you know what doesn’t? A little girl with wide eyes like her father (see her at 4 months above) who was so alert hours after giving birth that she gripped the rail of her bassinet in the nursery and pulled herself over on her side. A little girl who nuzzles into my chest after a feeding and makes sweet, soft sighs that make me never want to let her out of my arms. A little girl who, just four weeks after birth, was grinning so often and so readily that her father and I couldn’t stop laughing when we looked at her. A little girl who is so strong that she gives me faith in my own strength and in our future together.

Without being too sappy about it, I am very lucky. I was able to get pregnant, and despite some health problems I carried a healthy baby to term. She emerged pink and wailing and ready for anything. The soul mate who I decided to have a baby with is becoming the amazing father I always knew he would be. And together, in our one-plus bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y., we are making a family. Yes, I have caught one huge, lucky, life-changing break.

See all posts by Kate Rope.
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