On my first trip to the grocery store after my son, Graeme, was diagnosed with food allergies, I did something I’ve never done in a food store before: I cried.
I’m usually happiest around food, but it was a moment of rare negative emotion, and my breakdown happened in front of God, my 4-year-old daughter, Elise, and the boy who was stocking aisle six.
I had been reading my way through the store, checking every item before tossing it in the basket for foods that are now verboten in my house: peanuts, corn, wheat, soy, egg whites, and chicken. I knew I had to avoid those, but it was finding the derivatives of them in almost every product that was sending me into a state of panic and sadness.
Often the source of my frustration was high fructose corn syrup. When it didn’t rear its sticky, oozy head, something near the bottom of the label would eliminate the product. Usually that was wheat germ, corn starch, or soy lecithin, whatever the hell that is. (Turns out it’s an additive used in lots of foods for a variety of reasons.)
Except for fruit and vegetables, my cart was practically empty, and I was halfway through the store. I had been there an hour. My daughter had long since eaten her wheat- and egg-white-laden cookie and soaked up the new choice vocab words her daddy had been muttering under his breath. Her patience was running thin. Like a tragic Greek chorus, she kept asking, “Can Graeme eat that?”
I was really tired of the answer: “No, honey.”
You have to give food manufacturers credit; beyond shoving corn, soy, and wheat into as many products as scientifically possible, they have also managed to create quite a few allergen-free options for families on the go. You can find bread without wheat, pasta without eggs, chicken nuggets without chicken, and lots of dairy products without dairy (to which Graeme is mercifully not allergic).
But I wasn’t finding anything processed that does not include at least one of Graeme’s no-nos. (The chickenless chicken, for example, contained everything else he is allergic to and was processed in a factory that handles peanuts!)
The ugly realization was setting in that everything Graeme was going to eat (at least until we sorted out the allergies that cause him to react badly from the ones that are more manageable) would have to be made from scratch. The enormity of that task—in a house where both parents work and commute long distances—broke me.
I sucked it up before I alarmed Elise (or the stock boy), wheeled my cart toward the exit, and began to contemplate how we were going to manage this parenting challenge.
Comments (6)
Don’t despair, Sean. I started dealing with food allergies 25 years ago and of course my three children and I all had different allergies. What works is to focus on what everyone can eat and to cook ahead. Not only is it healthier for everyone, but more economical. It’s interesting that my kids’ dad’s family and mine are mostly obese and plagued with health problems. My kids and I, all allergic to corn products, are slender and healthy.
Thanks JoAnn.
We’re doing a lot of cooking ahead these days. And we’re having to learn to cook in a whole new way. I’m learning to bake without eggs or wheat. I wasn’t much of a baker before we found out about Graeme’s allergies, but because there are few (if any) baked goods that he can have I’ve been baking. Have had a few good results and some disasters (sorghum molasses cookies can come out in a variety of densities, it turns out!).
We were already backing off processed foods before this, now we’re just learning to live without for the most part. I have found a few items he can eat, which helps when we’re in a hurry. But most Sunday and Monday nights I’m in the kitchen late concocting breakfast, lunch and dinner for the little turkey!
Best!
Good Luck with the allergy free foods and the hectic schedule. I can relate (not to the allergies) but trying to make a lot of stuff from scratch for healthier food and working full time.
Sean,
Erin Kelley pointed me to your blog. I have a son with egg and all nut allergies. He was diagnosed at 18 months and now is almost 5! She starts preschool next month and I am freaked out but I have faith that the system is on my side. I wanted to let you know a great place for advice on food products is your local health food store. I visit them all the time in Atlanta and would be happy to give you a list of names. Hang in there! It does get better. You learn to be very creative, I made donuts with pizza dough b/c my son had never had a donut!
Life is not over!
I discovered that I’m allergic to gluten, dairy, eggs, almonds, peanuts, kidney beans and pinto beans last November (you can see my allergy results at http://www.livhealthy.tv- Live Healthy-articles)
Although it is challenging finding convenient foods to eat, I have found a few good brands. O’Dough’s has created a great line of gluten free bread that actually tastes good! Glutino makes good (expensive) pretzels….and there are more and more products coming available. I recently participated in Whole Food’s Gluten Free day, and they have a list of all of the gluten free products they carry in their store. I know that’s just one allergen on your check list…. but you’ve got to start somewhere.
Gluten-free foods is one of the fastest growing food trends. I’m going to be attending Natural Products Expo East in Boston, where all of the latest products in the natural product industry are showcased. While I’ll be there on “official media business” interviewing people for my health and wellness video podcast, Vitamin Junkeys, I will definitely be scoping the place out for new finds that I can add to my pantry.
Just think of the incredible positive impact this is going to have on your family’s health!
Good luck!
It truly is a struggle trying to find processed foods,(because they’re easier to prepare), that fit within our ‘allergy’ ridden diets. I’ve gotten quite aggevated myself. One thing I did try (and I’m glad I did!!) is getting my body tested for how well it metabolizes and whether I’m getting enough nutrition.
I get custom nutritional supplements from this company. Check into the allertest in addition to the everyday supplemnts. I’ve been using these for 6 years (been retested twice), and can honestly say I’ve been able to go back to some foods that were previously off limits to me( to list one of the many benefits I’ve experienced!)
It may not benefit everyone as it has me..but look into it at this address: http://www.idealhealth.com/why/Science.aspx
They use independent contractors to keeps costs low..they will assign a local rep to you.
Best of sucess with your food challenges!