Day-Care Dilemma: Keeping Our Allergic Son Safe

For a toddler, my son is gaining an unusual amount of notoriety. There’s already a sort of “Wanted” poster of him at the local YMCA, where he drops by a few times a week. And it’s not because he’s prone to biting when hungry or tired. The nursery signs (there are three of them): “Only give Graeme Kelley the snack or food or drinks from his bag. He has alergic [sic] reactions to certain foods. Thank you.”

Graeme’s Y visits constitute the only time his child-care needs are out of our control. The rest of the time he is with one of his grandmothers or my wife and me.

Like many parents, we were obsessive in our selection of caregivers for Graeme’s older sister. And when we found out Graeme had severe allergies—both food and environmental—our obsession turned to paranoia. First, we drilled his grandmothers with a short list of don’ts: Don’t give him anything with peanuts, corn, soy, wheat, eggs, or chicken. Don’t let him near any cats.

Soon we progressed to packaging his food for them, storing allergen-free meals and snacks in carefully labeled tubs. We even suggested to my mother, who has a cat, that our house is better equipped for Graeme’s needs than hers is.

At the Y, we scared the help into compliance. We described his issues, emphasizing that certain food items could kill him. We demonstrated his Epi-Pen. This worked quite well; most caregivers really don’t want to kill your child. They were so concerned they put up the poster.

Of course, even with Level Orange surveillance at home, Graeme still managed to eat what was forbidden. As we faced a full-time day-care placement for Graeme at the facility our daughter already attends—with hundreds of kids and dozens of teachers—what would happen?

Here’s what happened: A few weeks ago, when we were picking our daughter up, one of her caregivers handed us a peanut-butter cookie that she had saved for Graeme.

Even though having the kids in the same facility would be convenient for us and great for them, we realized Graeme was going to need a different level of attention. Our search for another child-care solution had begun in earnest.

NEXT WEEK: Our search for a place for Graeme.

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Learn more about food allergies.