Finding Our Son an Allergen-Free Day Care

The first day of day care or school can be a traumatic event for both parents and children. When we dropped our daughter off at her day school two years ago, my wife and I were moved to tears. But, facing this decision recently for our son, who has severe food allergies, was not only emotional, it was scary.

At the end of June, we sent our son Graeme to day care for the first time. Before then, he’d been in a few parent’s-day-out programs, but for the most part he was in the care of his grandmothers or us. Initially our daughter’s facility looked like an option, but it soon became apparent that, while it was a great place for her, it was not the spot for a kid who can’t be within a football field’s distance of an open jar of peanut butter. We had to look elsewhere.

It wasn’t easy. We live in a rural area where there aren’t many day-care facilities to begin with. Fewer actually had room. When we began calling that short list, none of the day cares had ever addressed food allergies in a way that made us comfortable.

So what did we do? We changed our thinking. We abandoned the main criteria we’d established with my daughter’s care: education. That strategy had ruled out just about every facility without a curriculum or accreditation.

Now instruction was off the menu. Graeme didn’t need education; he needed attention. We decided instead to look for four things:

• Awareness of the food-allergy issue and a willingness to work with us
• A child-caregiver ratio of 5-to-1
• Proven childcare skills
• Convenience

We found these things, ironically, in a setting we did not consider for our daughter: a home-based day care. And the caretaker was a familiar person—the same woman we’d handed our daughter over to on her first day of school. But instead of working at our daughter’s school, Felicia is now staying at home with her daughter and taking in a few children.

Meeting our criteria was only the first step. We understand that our responsibility doesn’t stop at the day-care door. We had to help Felicia keep our son safe, which meant we:

• Told her about Graeme’s allergies—in great detail
• Made sure she knew what to do in case of an emergency
• Gave her numbers to Graeme’s medical care providers
• Instructed her on how to use an Epi-pen
  
• Provided prepackaged food and snacks so that there would never a question as to what’s safe

Finally, we tried to set her at ease by making ourselves available by phone at any time she needed.

We didn’t know it, but we were following a well-established protocol for kids with chronic illnesses suggested by the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute. (A more tailored list for kids with food allergies can be found at the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network site. And they have excellent materials to help parents of school-age children educate teachers and staff.)

It’s too early to tell if all our efforts will keep Graeme completely safe, but I suspect he’ll do just fine with his new caretaker. And that’s why I can now smile with relief when I drop him off.

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Learn more about food allergies.