When I was 11 years old, I drew skulls and warnings on my mother’s cigarettes and then slipped the cigarettes back in the pack. If I was hoping to embarrass her, it worked: She offered them to guests at an afternoon party, and I heard the details. It wasn’t as hilarious as I had imagined, apparently. That was 1971.
Recently I asked a few friends and acquaintances if they had similar stories and received anecdotes dating all the way back to the start of the modern assault on tobacco. One friend’s father, who was a D.C. lawyer representing a tobacco company in the mid-’60s, fired the client after being pestered by a uniquely positioned pressure group: his offspring. Now 81, he emailed to say he recalls that “firing Lorillard as a client was written up…in an article in The Wall Street Journal, ‘Daddy, Why Do You Represent a Cigarette Company?’”
In the late ’60s, remembers writer Kate Meyers, who lived in Pittsburgh at the time, “My mom had a drawer in her bathroom where she kept her Virginia Slims 100s, and I would leave her notes saying, ‘Mommy, I don’t want you to die.’ She hasn’t touched a cig in about 40 years.”
In 1986, David Allan, now the husband of Health.com senior editor Kate Rope, culminated a “years-long campaign of lectures” by requesting information from the surgeon general’s office about the effects of secondhand smoke on children. He received a C. Everett Koop-signed letter and some “book-size publications,” which he “cruelly” gave to his smoking parents for Christmas, asking only that they quit as a gift back to him (blackmail of Shakespearean cunning). Mom soon did, Dad eventually followed suit.
A few years ago, relates New Jersey writer Gail Belsky, her daughter and friends plastered the friends’ father, a smoker, with Post-it notes while he worked at his computer—the notes scrawled with antismoking messages.
These kids—what’s their real agenda?
Now, I don’t believe that kids’ motives are entirely pure here. There’s pleasure in turning the moral tables on parents, and public-health campaigns offer excellent air cover. Also, smoking is a safer target for kids than most: unambiguously “bad” without rendering its practitioners dangerous, the way alcohol can. As to reports of campaign success, I suspect those successes often happen in families in which the parents have a predisposition to quit.
Still, never underestimate the wisdom of kids. Over the recent July 4 weekend, I asked a particularly wise 10-year-old girl what she thought about tobacco harassment. She mulled and then answered to the effect that it’s fair for kids to let their parents know how they feel, even by trickery, but a kid needs to know that smoking is addictive and a parent may not be able to quit. I suggested she ought to be surgeon general someday.
Meanwhile, last year the UK government gave a £15,000 grant to a community group that planned to arm kids with data so they could go home and put the screws to smoking parents. A pro-smoking spokesman called the idea “disgraceful moral blackmail.”
Perhaps. But I can’t help remembering an afternoon a few years ago, when I dropped my teenage daughter’s best friend off at a New York hospital to visit her mother, who had a brain tumor that had resulted from the spread of smoking-related lung cancer. This woman, who had not been able to give up smoking even after her diagnosis, died while we were in the room, leaving the girl in the care of a father who, for reasons not worth detailing here, was not up to the task. I was grateful, at that moment, that my own mother had given up the habit decades before—whether or not my silly campaign had played a part.
Tools to help smokers quit
So, is it OK to harass the smokers we love? For kids, I think, absolutely. Adults—you tell me. And let’s discuss whether it actually works.
This week Health.com launches a new section of our site devoted to kicking the tobacco habit, with lots of quit-smoking tools, answers, drug information and even some reason to laugh: Check out the 1951 Goofy cartoon link in “97 Reasons to Quit Smoking”. If you have any stories or opinions about tobacco harassment, please share them below.
(PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES)
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Comments (175)
I love this article. I’ve been wanting my boyfriend to quit smoking for a while. We’re moving in together in a couple weeks. This article gave me some ideas to “drop a hint” to him without making it seem like an ultimatum.
We have a close friend who is a lifetime smoker (now age 50) and we have deliberately NOT harrassed him about his unhealthy habit. We do, however, heap praise and encouragement on him whenever he quits: for a day, a week, several months. We have cheered him on as he tried to quit cold-turkey, or with hypnosis sessions, acupuncture, nicotine patches, nicotine gum, aversion therapy or self-help books. He watched his own father die from heart disease and lung failure, and yet he has, so far, been unable to “beat the beast” of cigarette addiction. Are we being sympathetic to a fault? Should we paper his computer with Post-It notes, stage an intervention, email him photos of diseased lungs, shame him into quitting? Our motives are pure, but those actions would surely damage our friendship. He is struggling with his addiction. He doesn’t need us to point out the obvious.
Wonderful post! When an adult takes a cigarette out of my hand and stomps it, I get mad and light another. But if you tell me to put it out so you can give me a massage, I’ll tamp it out and purr like a kitten…as I told the wonderful commenters in my “Dare Me to Quit” post here: http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/1,,20210700,00.html
A child putting skulls in my pack (as you did for your mama) would do a number on me too!!!
I say harass away…we’ll likely be the ones caring for smoking parents/spouses when they get emphysema, etc. It costs us all–emotionally, physically, and financially in the long run.
But I’m the son of a doc who practiced pulmonary medicine…I grew up seeing pictures of black, tar-filled lungs. (Pops could smell cigarette smoke on a friend from the other room.) So lord knows I’m biased.
I feel it is my duty to let my buddies know how I feel about them smoking. I don’t harass them about it, but I do let them know it bothers me to be around their smoke, definately while we are all out eating dinner. I think if you are close with a person that smokes, you should be able to share your feelings on the important subject of their health. I don’t think you should try to make them feel guilty, just let them know you are there for them to help, and that you don’t agree with their decision to destroy their body.
It’s definitely OK to harass! When I was 10, my little sister and I calculated how much money my parents wasted per year on Salem Light 100s and Newport Lights. Our logic: You could buy us, like, a bazillion Cabbage Patch Dolls with that dough! They were not swayed. My mom finally quit five years ago, but my dad continues to smoke—even after 6 bypasses. Obviously. the most important thing to me is his living breathing self but, dad, know this: If you had quit smoking at 40 and put the savings into a 401(k) you would have about $250,000 by your 70th BDay. Puff on that.
I say harass the heck out of them. There’s a good chance smokers (whether they’re you’re spouse or parents) will cost us emotionally, physically, and financially.
But I’m the son of a retired pulmonary medicine doc. I’ve been seeing photos of black lungs filled with tar since I was a kid. I’m biased.
The problem with allowing kids to harass the smokers they love is that it gives kids carte blanche to harass *everyone* who smokes–including strangers and parents’ acquaintances. And the kids are often extremely obnoxious about it. I have no patience for those types of kids, and I have even less patience with parents who condone that behavior. I was at a wedding reception where the smoking section was outside the house. The 4-year-old nephew of the bride continually walked around the smokers, making that annoying fake cough, waving his arms to clear the smoke, and telling the adults how bad they were for smoking. I pointed to a spot on the far end of the driveway and said, “You can go stand over there.” He ignored that and continued the harassment. Obviously some lessons were skipped in that kid’s household.
Rahter than pressure the smoker to quit, why don’t you pressure your elected officials to pass legislation that makes cigarette companies pay for stop smoking aids – “the patch”, Nicorette, chantix, etc.?
Sure, harass away! Next we’ll turn the kiddies loose on the oldies, fatties, drunks, and anyone else who might ultimately become burdensome to society.
Hello, Brave New World.
Teaching and justifying bullying is always okay!!!!!??????
Yes – it’s A-OK to harass. If your loved one(s) were addicted to meth or heroin, would you be so understanding or worried about damaging the relationship? Why is a nicotine addiction treated differently? Because it’s legal? Nonsense! Harass them, shame them, demand they end their addiction. I broke my addiction to cigarettes last year after hearing a constant stream of “Stop or…!” from my husband. We are both much happier now!
I’m a teacher for a prevention based non-profit agency where I often teach kids of all ages about tobacco & other drug risks. Kids tell me all the time, that they themsleves know smoking is bad for their parents, who more often than not smoke in the presence of thier children e.g.: in the home or car windows closed. These kids are not only worried about their parents, but themselves as well. It’s really quite sad because they know the dangers of smoking for their parents and the dangers of second-hand smoke for themsleves. Kids tell me often about encounters they’ve had with adults in thier lives who get mad or defensive when they broach the subject. They eventually are told to “butt-out” so to speak and feel really helpless about their parents and thier own health. It’s a really tough situation and I am sometimes at a loss for how to suggest they handle it. I always tell them that it is OK to tell thier parents how they feel and that they are worried about their own health as well. It seems heartfelt concern (not harrassment) from a child just isn’t enough.
IS IT OK FOR MY KIDS TO START TELLING FAT PEOPLE THEY NEED TO STOP EATING SO MUCH? FAT PEOPLE COST US WAY MORE THAN SMOKING. I SMOKE AND ABSOLUTLY WANT TO AND WILL QUIT. MY KIDS ARE STARTING TO PUSH ON ME AND THIS IS WHAT IS ULTIMATLY GETTING ME TO OUIT AS I WANT TO SEE MY GRANDKIDS SOME DAY AND DONT WNAT MY KIDS TO SMOKE. BUT WHEN YOU GET THOSE KIDS AND ADULTS WHO DO THE PUSHING OR THE FAKE COUGH THING I WANT TO PUT MY FOOT UP… WELL YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYING ESPECIALY WHEN THEY ARE FAT PARENTS WITH THEIR FAT KIDS THEY FEED FAST FOOD TO EVERYDAY.
Absolutely not OK for strangers to give you guilt. I was at a party and some ramdom person put up a huge stink about me smoking (outside). She told me second hand smoke kills and I told her I was counting on it.
Being a non-smoker and married to a smoker is difficult. I have learned (the hard way) that telling him the health risks he is taking is not a good approach to the subject. I have even tried mind games such as putting a cigarette in my mouth and asking for a lighter. This causes strong anger and hypocritical comments from him, saying that I will never smoke. My question to him after that is: “Really, why do you?” Judging by his reactions I truly believe that he wants to quit but he’s addicted and can’t kick the habit. I have at least got him to cut back. (Five packs a week to 2 1/2 — it’s a start.) The thing that gets me is that he started smoking at 15 because it was something to do and gave him that “Cool” factor. Now, with changing laws and house rules, he is bound to the outdoors, rain or shine just to feed his habit. I am hoping our future children will kick his habit, before his habit kicks him.
No! I smoked from when I was 13 1/2 until last July 2nd, 2007 and I was 67 then and I did not give them up for health reasons but because the great Governor of the state of CT said they were going up another .50 per pack. I just celebrated 1 year this past July 2nd without a cigarette, however my husband still smokes and 1 of my son’s does also. I would never tell them to quit. They will do so when they are ready and no amount of nagging will help them to stop sooner. One other thing, why don’t the people who make the decisions to raise the taxes on cigarettes raise them on alcohol instead? Why?? Because just about everyone drinks even if it is at a wedding or special occasion. That is more of a danger because everyone drives home from their dinner engagement or that wedding after they’ve been drinking taking other people’s lives in their hands. And forget about health reasons. Noone gets out of this world alive. We are all going to die from one thing or another.
My mom has smoked ever since I remember…When my older brother started smoking at 15, she could not say NO. Then I started at age 16…I have recently quit for good. If she had not smoked at all, we would have never touched a cigarrette. I have two kids and plan to keep them far away from the vice. Life is BETTER without a cigarrette. I will keep harrassing my Mom until she stops…
My dad always said’ “The older we get, the dumber we get.” Seems the kids know better than the parents how bad smoking is for you. Kids have every right to ask their parents to stop. And as for those smokers who stink up the entrances of restaurants by puffing away right outside the door, please go elsewhere. Smoke in the back by the dumpsters. Some of us, like me, are highly sensitive to smoke smell and I can’t even swallow food when somoene is smoking near me. I pity the little kids whose parents smoke in their cars and the kids are breathing it in. Are those the people Jessica is counting on second-hand smoke to kill?
My former boss quit because (and he told me this) because I made him feel like such a low-life for smoking. So maybe my harassing saved his life. I also harassed my father to quit after he was up to 3 packs of Camels (unfiltered) a day and couldn’t speak a sentence without hacking. He’s been smoke free for 35 years now, partially due to the notes I’d leave him and my begging him. So in some cases, it WORKS!!
My personal experience: I smoked, as did my spouse. He had two girls, ages 2 & 5 who griped constantly, waved their hands in the air, etc. We quit many (over 30!) years ago. Both girls, now in their early 40’s, smoke. Go figure?????? And, nobody else in their entire family smokes! By the way, they “wish they could quit, but just can’t”. Yeah, right.
I have a friend who was a smoker. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas last year. I told him the best present he could give me would be if he stopped smoking. And he did!
When I was about 8 years I picked up my father’s cigarettes and said something like “Camel is an odd name for cigarettes.” He quit cold turkey shortly after that. I think he decided that he did not want his kids smoking. Now that I know how difficult it is for most people to quit I am even more impressed.
I absolutely believe that as humans we have an obligation to the people around us. This includes telling them when they are harming themselves and others such as smoking and other destructive behaviors. I don’t know what works but I know that supportive talking is a least a start.
Well, a former boss of mine quit because (in his words) I made him feel like such a low-life for smoking. I might have saved his life. And I would leave notes for my dad, beg him to quit, and after he got up to 3 packs of Camels (unfiltered) a day and could hardly speak, he quit. He’s been smoke free for over 35 years now, partially because of me. So yes, sometimes it works!!
I am a smoker who is trying to quit. As a smoker though, I would react to the harassment by spiting whoever was harassing with a fresh new cigarette to blow in their face to get them away from me. I have however responded to the support of my friends and a few strangers who, rather than harass me to quit, expressed only once in a while that my habit has them worried about my health now and in the future. I’ve found that harassment is never a good idea because the smoker will become defensive and thus not be as receptive as they would be if just confronted with the worry people feel for them. Cigarettes are an addiction that have been proven to be a drag on the economy, in fact being the second most expensive health issue in the country. The most wallet shattering health issue is obesity. If people feel it’s ‘right’ to harass smokers to quit, then I’ll make it my duty to harass anyone even slightly overweight to go to a gym or learn to eat right. I know I said harassment isn’t the way to go, but when in Rome. So, if a fatty wants to harass me to quit smoking, I’ll quit when they lose 20 pounds.
It’s only good if we can harass the fat-bodies we love too.
Think about that, especially since being fat is the new #1 killer in the USA.
How many of you people considering harassing your loved ones about smoking are gross slobs with swinging guts and multiple chins?
Given the average American, better than a 50% chance!
So don’t throw stones, dwellers in glass houses.
I know that smoking is a bad habit and bad for anyone’s health. But i have a bigger problem with alcohol. But if people protested against drinking the way that they do smoking… we would have less drinking and driving accidents, people dying of liver failure, and withdrawl from a controlled substance.
This question is easily answered with etiquette: no, it’s not all right to harass anybody about anything. Smokers are well aware of the risks, and quitting is their responsibility and, in my experience, can only happen when they truly want to. The flipside is that smokers must be polite to, and must ask before lighting up around those who might object.
I believe it is good for kid’s to be armed with facts to tell their parents. Unfortunately it can cause some mental images in children that can bother them. I was told in 1st grade my mom would die if she didnt stop smoking from our teacher. From that day on, I cried everyday until I was 13 and she did pass on. Of course there is a correlation between smoking and death but it is not right to tell a 6 year old that is what is going to happen. There is not the mental capacity for that. Facts can be shown but the child’s age needs to be kept in mind.
I don’t see how it is anyone’s inalienable right to ask someone to quit smoking. Let alone harass or bother them. What “right” do children have to ask their parents something like that? They have the right to be seen and not heard and to do what their parents tell them to do.
Chances are that pestering someone to quit smoking will cause them to ignore you in the future and continue to do what they want. “Educating” them about the health risks is also a pointless exercise. Smokers KNOW the risks and will likely ignore you.
Carmen – it’s a cruel, cruel world that you have to walk through a cloud of second hand smoke to get into a restaurant. I think we should banish them to a whole other country, not out back to the dumpsters! And while we’re in the process of getting rid of things we don’t like, you might as well deport different colored people or even people who don’t like the same kind of food as you – the food that you have a hard time swallowing when your nostrils are offended!
My boyfriend smokes. He didn’t when we met, but started later to handle his stress when looking for a job. He used to be one of those kids, and he would try to get his mom to quit smoking, which she’s tried unsuccessfully. So he knows how I feel, and I try not to pester him about it because I don’t want to be a nag and cause a rift in our relationship. But he also knows that he can’t smoke if we get married because then our future kids could be affected. He’s trying to quit now, so here’s hoping he’s successful! I think people should draw the line at being rude or intrusive when it comes to that and other bad habits on both sides. It’s a difficult thing to deal with, and tact is always a good thing to consider in things like that.
No one should harass anyone else. All smokers understand the dangers of smoking. They do not need education. It’s the same with drug use and obesity. Everyone already knows the risks, but they have an addiction that they can’t beat at this time. They have all tried to quit many times & hopefully will keep trying until they succeed. It’s an internal issue that has to be solved by the individual. Outsiders yapping at them doesn’t help and probably does more harm than good.
My grandmother died from lung cancer. She never smoked a day in her life. My grandfather was a heavy smoker for the near fifty years they were married. He never forgave himself and committed suicide about a decade later. So the question is not if it is ok to harrass smokers to quit. The question is if the ends justify the means. Without arguement, yes they do.
My mother is dead from enphazemia and suffered horribly with it for 7 years not to mention her family suffered as well!!! If i had my way the Phillip Morris building would be torn down to rubble and it executives put on trial for homicide. Cigarettes are poison and anyone that tells you to quit is only helping you, cause if you need a to smoke knowing it will kill you one way or the other then please jump off a building and save the taxpayers the money for your health care. Smoking costs this country Billions and destroys lives of those involved. Where is the Good in it??? All Smokers reading this If you saw the beautiful woman that was my mother deteriorate to nothing due to Malrboro’s You would never ever want to be near cigarette smoke again.
I am about an anti-smoking as it gets, and I don’t feel that it is appropriate to harass someone regarding their behavior. In essence, you are saying that you know better than they do. Would it be ok for them to tell you to get your fat self to a gym or change your diet? Technically, that could save your life as well.
It’s amazing that most of the non-smokers think it is fine to harass, but I wonder how they would feel being harassed about some of their bad habits. After all, second hand smoke isn’t the only health issue that affects others but it is the most obvious because you can see the smoke and it seems to be socially and politically acceptable to harass smokers whether they be friends, co-workers or strangers. However, I don’t see any of you holier than thou people standing outside of the bar your sitting in and harassing people who drive drunk, or go home and beat up their families. I was raised by a non-functioning drug addict and alcoholic divorced mother and don’t try to tell me how it affects others. I am 64 and just quit smoking myself, but it took me longer because of all the harassment by others to make themselves feel superior and that’s all it is – not worry about me. If I harassed my mother about her drugs or alcohol, I got my head smashed into a wall (and that is not a figurative statement). So stop feeling as if it is ok to interfere in other people’s lives.
I do agree that you should be able to share with a loved one your disdain for this habit and your concerns about their health. But, where does it stop? It is, after all, legal (whether or not it should be is another discussion). Should children be able to harass obese parents? Even though smoking rates have declined, obesity rates have soared; this is an epidemic which also costs us in terms of our health as well as financially. Perhaps we should examine the deeper reasons for our society’s predisposition to addiction.
Smoking is bad for you, we all agree. But alcohol also causes a lot of death and destruction, so if we’re going to talk about getting people to quit, why not include alcohol? Half of all highway fatalities are alcohol related. To give kids permission to harass people is going down a slippery and dangerous slope. Perhaps teach compassion and helpfulness instead. Giving permission for bullying is never OK.
I think it is a great idea to place children in the role of moral guardians of their parents.
We should also have children inform to the authorities if their parents are speeders, terrorists, social undesirables, tax cheats or jews.
In addition children of people who die of cancer should be made to understand that this was their fault for not making mommy or daddy stop. In fact, those kids should pay for the medical care since it is not fair to burden the insurance system and make children who were good enough to get mom and dad to stop pay the price.
When people tell me to quit smoking, I point out how fat they are. That usually shuts them up.
To “mrsbridgeport”: BINGO! It’s beyond astonishing to me how so many regular imbibers of alcohol (yes, all of the millions of beer-drinkers out there, too) feel so free to judge people who smoke. Talk about health implications to the general public! But alcohol consumers are somehow Teflon-coated because they make up the vast majority of the U.S. population (”strength in numbers” mentality). The recent approval for Sunday sales of alcohol in the state of Colorado was highly celebrated. Great … one more day of opportunity to expose the general public to the cascading effect of the REAL #1 health issue: alcohol consumption. (By the way, I don’t smoke.)
My Mom had surgery for a brain aneurism and was told that she would die if she didn’t quit smoking. You would think that would have some effect but it didn’t – she said she’d rather die than quit because cigarettes were ‘her friends’. How do you combat that attitude? She seems almost offended when I prohibit smoking in my house or car and when I nag her about it she tries to turn the tables because I drink beer and she doesn’t. Logic doesn’t work, the threat of death doesn’t work, what will?
…Or we could let everyone live their own lives.
I think people really need to lay off smokers. Most of them are courteous. They follow the rules, they go outside. I remember being a child in a non-smoker house in the 80’s & all my parents friends would smoke in the house. Nobody would even think about lighting up in a non-smokers house these days, and you would even ask before lighting up in a smoker’s house. The laws are being set and people are obeying. What else can people ask for? I don’t ask people to change their lifestyle as long as they are obeying laws. And all the “im sensitive to smoke” is just whiney. What would you’ve done in the 40’s? Smoking was EVERYWHERE. You just don’t like smoke, but you need to respect people following the rules.
Two quick facts:
1. 1/3 of people with lung cancer never smoked (or even secondhand)
2. 1/3 of smokers with lung cancer would have gotten it anyway
The data also shows that smokers cost less than non smokers in lifetime expenditure by the government because they die slightly younger and pay much more in taxes.
Sorry if the facts obscure the anti smoking propaganda.
People only quit if they want to. That applies to lots of habits, regardless of whether it’s smoking or not. I’m raising money for WellSpring, a foundation that helps cancer patients (regardless of whether they smoked or not). If you’d like to donate for a good cause, please go here. CancerVive.ca
“And forget about health reasons. Noone gets out of this world alive. We are all going to die from one thing or another.”
Fran, you are deluding yourself. Wouldn’t your prefer to die of old age, peacefully in your sleep, than to die painfully from lung cancer?
In addition, not encouraging your loved ones to quit smoking says something about you–you don’t really love them in the first place. If you really love your husband and son, you would ask them to quit. Do you honestly think that you don’t care if they die of lung cancer?
Not able to quit? Not quite true. It took a medical health scare for me to decide on a quit date and when it came to that date, I smoked my last. I can’t quite buy the ‘not able to quit’ line. If the motivation is there, you can do it. But–you can’t be another person’s motivation. If someone says they can’t, they are really saying they won’t. I don’t know how you get past that. I’ve seen people with emphasema still keep puffing away, tethered to oxygen tanks–now that is something you don’t see everyday. If it takes a crying kid begging parents to stop, or an obnoxious 4-year old, so what. Cigarette companies should not be blamed, just as restaurants or grocery stores should not be blamed for obesity. Freedom of choice, folks. Always. Every day. You get to pick what kind of life you want.
I think this article is pretty interesting, however it is not exactly correct in my opinion.
Let me back up a bit to clarify my justification. I am a smoker, I’m 19, I’ve been smoking for just about 3 years. Lately however I really have been trying to quit, if you saw me less than 2 months ago, I would chain smoke a pack a day easily. I didn’t start to be cool, my oldest sibling has been smoking for quite a few years now and I used to be one of the harassing little kids that would yell to him “quit smoking!” whenever I saw him do it. Then my friend introduced me to them and I started. Eventually, all my friends became routine smokers, just about every single of my friends now smoke on a daily basis, and those who don’t smoke hookah or cigars which are just as bad for you.
I enjoyed the act of smoking, I really did, that’s truthfully the only reason I would do it; I also enjoyed being one of the few smokers in my family so that we could talk during family get- togethers and have space.
That is where a huge point that non-smokers really do not, and WILL not ever understand: As you become more and more of a routine, daily smoker, you develop other habits that strengthen your smoking addiction ( when you first wake up, with a cup of coffee, after sex, after a meal, before you go to bed, and the real killer, alcohol ). I’ve been harassed by my parents about my smoking habit, and for good reason! I would do the same thing if in some distant future if I do have kids, I would teach them not to smoke. However no matter how many lectures you can give to the ones you care about who smoke, people need to realize something: You cannot control other peoples’ habits, you can control yourself, but that is it; the greatest power you have over others is influence. That is what I am hoping to do for my other friends, by trying for who knows what attempt to kick the habit, I really feel that this is the final attempt to quit. Why? Because I truly want to be done, I’m sick of the act of doing it, and in the past 3 days now, I’ve only had 3 smokes; I cannot remember the last I had that few amount! Lastly, another reason I feel that I will be quitting for good this time is my girlfriend just quit smoking also and hasn’t touched a cig in over a month; while she has told me she isn’t bothered if I decide to still have one around her, it is personal guilt for me to have knowing full-well that she is putting the effort to quit as well.
I dunno, hope this helps anyone else out there trying to break the habit as well!
I’m sorry but to all of those who saying things like “they should quit if only they want to” or “they have every right to smoke”, here’s a news flash: second-hand smoke kills.
I have asthma. This means that if I am exposed to a irritant in the air, like second-hand smoke, my lungs will react and I will suffer an asthma attack. If my attack is not treated promptly, I can DIE. Unfortunately, it seems so many smokers are (willfully) ignorant of this fact.
My right (as well as all children’s right) to breathe clean and smoke-free air is more important that your right to smoke those nasty cancer sticks and affect all of those around you. Therefore, I am all for kids harassing their parents to quit. Not only is it good for the parents’ own good, it also helps improve the quality of life for the kids.
Is it OK for us to dig up what we consider your bad habits & harass you over them? I swear the world has developed a really creepy sense of orwellian entitlement to enforce their world vision on everyone else.
I’d ask any considering such a proposition to kindly @#$&* off.
I quit many years ago (both my parents died from smoking related diseases…emphysema and lung cancer in their 60s) but not because I was harrassed, but because I WANTED to quit. No one wants to be bullied into anything. My husband has smoked for almost 40 years and can go for hours without a cigarette which I can’t understand at all. I was never able to go more than an hour or two without one. He just gets mad if I say anything. HE (AS ALL SMOKERS) ALREADY KNOWS IT’S UNHEALTHY. I think most people who harrass smokers are just being smug! IT DOESN’T work. My young daughter used to harrass me something terrible (I started smoking for about a year or so after having stopped for 10 years) and I felt guilty but not because of her harrassment but because I KNEW I WAS BEING SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. It’s kind of like going on a diet. When you are ready you’ll do it.
We have a friend who lost her husband from a smoking-related stroke 10 years ago — he was just 49 at the time. This friend and her husband were openly annoyed at friends who would try to get them to quit — we weren’t the only ones — and finally decided not to socialize with people who bugged them about it. When her husband died, she kept right on smoking and a few years later found a boyfriend who also smokes. They both took a drug to help them quit but not smoking made her so miserable that she quit the drug instead and took up cigarettes again. We rarely see them anymore because we know they will light up and it’s hard to ignore it and not say anything. You just want to slap/talk some sense into her! It pains us as we feel she will die an early death as a result. On the other hand, she’s in her early 60s and seems healthy enough — that seems to help her justify not making more of an effort to kick the habit. Unfortunately, the addiction runs so deep that being able to smoke in peace seems to be more important than spending time with non-smoking friends. Truth is, we don’t want to have to inhale their secondhand smoke either; we’d like to share good conversation and fresh air. While damaging one’s health, nicotine can also damage friendships.
I am a smoker, for a long time I have tried to quit and haven’t been able to, but let me tell you, people harassing you about it does not help, on the contrary, it just annoys you and makes you want a cigarette even more.
I think wether it is a child or an adult it is justified to ask, to worry and to encourage somebody to quit smoking, but not to harass and judge their actions. The best advice I could give anybody is don’t smoke, because quitting is really hard, and if you want somebody you love to quit smoking then be a source of support and help, not one of those annoying people that just bitch about you going outside for a cigarette or about the many times you’ve said you’re going to quit.
I remember when my mother couldn’t quit. She was ALWAYS trying and she didn’t smoke much any more but she had emphysema and finally was forced to quit when she went on full time oxygen. My mother-in-law made a comment to me that she “just couldn’t understand why anyone who had emphysema would continue to smoke” and I shot right back at her “for the same reason people with health issues (she was a very overweight diabetic) don’t lose weight, exercise or eight healthy”. That shut her up!
SickofTobaccoGestapo::: EXCUSE ME?? I hope someone deletes that comment about homosexuals because it is disgusting.
As far as harrassing goes, it’s one thing to harrass, it’s another to make your feelings known. I’ve seen 2 people I am close to die in horrible ways due to smoking, and as hard as it may be to quit smoking, trust me, it’s a LOT worse to die the way they did, or live the last few years the way they did. For this reason, I don’t pretend it’s ok with me that people I know are killing themselves, but I also know from experience in childhood, harrassment can make some people (stubborn ones, like me) more intent on keeping up those bad habits.
(And as far as the government is concerned, do they really want people to stop smoking? The taxes on cigarettes make them a real cash cow to those states that desperately need money.)
It’s never okay to harass by pushing your views on others. Amazingly, we accept that truth when it comes to other individual choices…but the anti-smoking crusaders want to make this choice for everyone because THEY KNOW WHAT’S BEST for them!!! People die from lung cancer that have never smoked…people die from CANCER period. Smoking is a personal choice like drinking alcohol, having an abortion, etc. Abortion and drunk driving kills too, but don’t touch pro-choice advocates when it comes to this hot-button topic and heaven forbid if we once again tried to outlaw alcohol! It’s time to stop the harassment. You anti-smokers breath more air-pollution from the exhaust fumes on the highways every day, then you’ll ever breath from second-hand smoke.
If you want to live in a socialist society where individual freedoms are repressed, move to Cuba! Oops, they make Cuban cigars! Or…you could move to Amsterdam, where the Dutch have made smoking illegal. Oops…Smoking pot is legal there! Dutch Anti-smokers don’t seem to mind the second hand smoke of weed though!
Of course, if all the Dutch get high, they’ll probably all mellow out and quit harassing everyone else!…so eventually personal choice will win the day…maybe we need to legalize pot here…ya think?
everytime an anti-smoking ad comes on tv, or someone nags about smoking, i immediately light up.
you know what the sad thing is, if all us smokers DID quit, where on earth would we get school funding from?? hmmm???
aren’t we in a bind right now because due to the “decline” in gas consumption, now states are wondering where to get transportation funding from.
smoking is not illegal, it is NOT worse than alcohol. how about banning THAT?!?! lmao.
best of luck people, i’ll be smoking one here for ya. ;)
I watched my father smoke for 28 years. He hacked every morning, spitting up black phlegm in the bathroom sink. When I looked at his cigarettes as a child, he took them away from me, told me they were “bad”. Of course I asked why he had them, he said he wished he could quit & tried but couldn’t.
My next door neighbor told me as a teen that I needed braces, he asked why my father didn’t buy them for me. I told him my father said he couldn’t afford it. He responded years later, after my father had died, saying my father spent thousands & thousands of dollars on smoking & drinking all those years I needed braces, and if he’d put them on me, I’d have straight teeth now. What could I say? He was right.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my father, despite all his protestations, never really loved me, or himself. He actions speak louder than his words.
i like Lucy’s idea, i am a smoker and i have tried to quit several times, however cold turkey doesn’t work at all, and the stop smoking aids are far too expensive for me on a students budget. i can deal with $5 a day but forking over $100+ for a box of gum or a patch just seems ridiculous to me. if legislation was passed to help people quit by offering government sponsored quitting aids i think people would be much more inclined to take up the challenge and kick the habit.
If an adult friend tried these tactics on me, I would let them know that it is my decision whether or not to continue smoking. If they persisted with the hints and tricks, they would cease to be my friend.
I just quit… 3 weeks ago… and i’m miserable. I did quit due to health reasons–but no nagging stopped me–it took me one year to stop after my diagnosis.
I wrote my first Letter to the Editor about smoking in public places 33 years ago, when I was a teenager. So I have a long, documented history of being anti-smoking. Still, I think making comments to people beyond your immediate family about smoking, when it’s not exposing you to second-hand smoke, is a very, very bad idea.
Bug your parents, siblings, and kids all you want — that’s what families are for :) — and call out the jerk who’s sneaking a smoke in an inappropriate place and making you breath the death fumes. But leave your friends, neighbors, co-workers, and clients alone. There’s not a darned thing you can tell them that they don’t already know, and we should fiercely protect personal liberty, even when our choices cause us harm.
And no, once-removed effects like increased health care costs are not sufficient to trample on freedom and personal choice.
I admit I am stubborn, and when people address my smoking (and I’m down to 1 pack a week and trying to quit) I become even more stubborn.
Other than my adult kids, who don’t want me to smoke, I strongly object to others interfering in my life in ANY way.
I would be as stubborn if others objected to my diet in regard to cholesterol, weight, meat eating, or any other personal choice. It is absolutely NOT ok for anyone else, especially poorly parented children who have no manners, to interjet their opinions in my life when I do not intrude in their lives.
Perhaps if I explained teaching good manners to children, to their parents, they may object to my opinions as well.
It is time for you ‘youngsters with so many opinions on other peoples’ habits to realize just where and what this propaganda does to one’s family, and, do you know where it began??? and why???
it begins in your schools!!! my children came home in the early 70’s telling us that the ‘teachers wanted iside information into your home life…at that time is was ‘of course for child abuse…ha! ha!
they wanted children to ’squeal on their parents concerning anything…also with questions as to whether or not your parent smoked pot!!!!
this was a treacherous way to intrude into the publics homes. the Parents at that time stopped it fast!!! today you kids line up against your family…see what treachery can do??? cigarette smoking has been done since time began.. and USED as a way to DIVIDE the people…way back in real early administrations this happened!!! and when jessie helms, southern racist pig began his attack on cigarette companies..to DIVIDE the PEOPLE!!!! you kids of today know not your history and you allow others to persuade you against your parents! that is disgusting, but now you know how politics work!!! jessie must have sold his stocks at the time… to preserve white supremacy!!!!
grow up and research on your own, before you are so hep to join a group!!!!
Just a note to those who feel t is OK to pass vocal moral judgment on others: F*** you. That’s right, f*** you. And if your kid walked up to me and harrassed me I’d tell them the same and then kick your self righteous a** as soon as you came back to complain about my language. You know what? I don’t believe in your religion, perhaps I should sh** on it in front of you? Perhaps I should take a fat sh** on the next gas guzzling Hummer I see? But that’s not fair! F*** you.
Definitely keep after loved ones! My beautiful granddaughter, Madalyn, came to me one day and said she loved me and didn’t want me to smoke. I looked at her big, brown eyes and decided I wanted to be around to watch her grow up. Not only did I quit smoking, but I dropped 35 lbs. Everyday of my life I thank Madalyn! Grandchildren are wonderful!!!
PS: Notice the medical profession does not ‘link cancer to the polluted air we breathe from nuke testing….read about oklahoma and what it did to that state….lots died!!!!! get your facts straight!
Don’t smoke, “puff, puff”.
I’ve been a smoker for 20 years, sometimes I think i’d like to quit, because I know it’s bad for my health, but mostly because it’s just too darned expensive.
But while you guys are saving the world. I have some suggestions for you, the next time your at Mcdonalds and observe someone eating a big mac and fries, please let them know they are exibiting unheathy behavior. I would suggest the same thing the next time you see someone eating a 20 oz porterhouse at your favorite steakhouse. I wonder how they will react.
I am also in favor of putting a large consumption tax on Crisco and other vegtable oil products. Because if you are overweight (and the gov’t says you are) then I dont think you pay enough to support the healthcare system. Lets go ahead and add this tax to potato chips of any kind.
And, if anyone has the time, please let me know why it is not ok to smoke in a bar in Columbia, MO but yet drinking a fifth of wisky or consuming 12 beers is OK.
Thanks for the help.
BF
Well, it may work on some people. However, I smoked about 5 years longer than I would have because my husband started trying to give me guilt about it, and it annoyed me to the point that I kept smoking out of spite. Childish, I know, but that was my reaction. I bitterly resent nagging, and react the exact opposite way from what the nagger wants me to do. It wasn’t until he left me alone about it that I finally quit – because I wanted to. You have to be emotionally ready to do it, otherwise it is too hard. Trying to quit because someone else is nagging you just leads to sneaking smokes when you are away from the other person.
And to the people who are comparing smoking cigarettes to meth or heroin – cigarettes aren’t illegal yet.Yes, tobacco is harmful, but there are a few very key differences. There are very few strung out tobacco junkies robbing their families and mugging people on the streets for cigarette money. Very few people lose their houses and jobs because of their addition to tobacco. It’s called a sense of perspective. You might want to try it out sometime.
pps: if you told the truth, your child will not let you see the grandchild if you are a smoker!!! my boys harrasssed me to death to quit, only to take up chewing playing SPORTS!!!! it seems there are double standards!! it breaks up family, which is meant to…commi style! from within we crumble!!!!
I always said I would never date a smoker. However, the heart has it’s own ideas. Cigarette smoke gives me terrible headaches, however. I never nagged my boyfriend about it. I just set up one simple rule. If he smoked a cigarette, I wouldn’t kiss him until he had thoroughly brushed his teeth, cleaned up, etc. After smoking around 10 cigarettes a day and having the cleanest teeth known to man, he decided it just wasn’t quite worth it. I was also lucky in the sense though that he had no habits around me. It was a brand new relationship and his brain didn’t associate smoking with being around me. It made it significantly easier for him to quit. He now chews maybe one piece of Nicorette gum a day, if that. He’s been amazed at how much more he can do athletically.
I think it’s ok to bring it up to people you know. People I know harass me about my beer belly, and it is probably the main reason I lost 10 lbs and slimmed down on that belly. It’s great when family and friends push people they care about to make healthier decisions. Now, those same people who pushed me say, “You look great!” Now, the difference is harassing people you don’t know, waving your hands about and fake coughing…if someone I didn’t know poked my belly and made “blub blub” noises I would probably assault them
To all anti smokers you are a bunch of complete fools
I would be happy to let you have somebody give me a hard time about smoking.
Hint no proof smoking causes cancer and check the work of Louie Pastor great French scientist.
Last you are being the fools of insurance companies
an un American. You are infringing on our civil rights.
Parents that smoke around their kids should have their children taken away from them. If you are going to be an idiot and smoke, then don’t endanger your children at the same time. It shows a total lack of concern for the welfare of their children. I believe that if people want to smoke, they should, but not in public places where it bothers other people. If they kept their disgusting, nasty habit to themselves, there would not be people complaining about it.
You know as a nonsmoker, I’m tired of people yelling and complaining that I’m fake coughing at their smoke. Like 15 people said this in the earlier posts alone. I’M REALLY COUGHING SO STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELVES FEEL BETTER. I don’t bother people, or tell them what it’s doing to them, yet if I acidently get a lungfull unexpectedly because a breeze carried it, I cough and like 5 people give me a dirty look. PEOPLE WHO DON’T SMOKE WILL COUGH, THEY CAN NOT HELP IT.
Well,
I love the smell of a cigarette, or a cigar or a pipe. Sorry but that’s the truth.
I quit last year, gained 25 pounds and have been fighting medical problems related to the weight gain. But I’m finally taking the weight off and getting my health back. If someone had told me I would feel worse than I felt when I was smoking I wouldn’t have believed them.
I’m still glad I quit. The cost was ridiculous.
Here’s a tip for the folks who want to quit because it worked for me like a charm, find (online) non-nicotine cigarettes. Order those and wear the patch while smoking those. It helps disassociate the nicotine surge with the actual smoking action which I was psychologically addicted to as well. I weaned myself off the patches and then just stop smoking the cigarettes once the thrill was gone.
Took two weeks.
I just wish I had started an exercise program before that and it wasn’t followed by the holidays.
This is an interesting article. I harassed my mom to stop smoking throughout my whole childhood, and finally it reached an end when, at about 15, I threatened her that I would start smoking if she didn’t quit – she refused to quit, and I started smoking, and now, ironically, we’re both hooked (I don’t recommend this strategy by the way – just sharing a different perspective here). The point is, some people really can’t quit, no matter how much they may want to. She has always seen it as her right to smoke, because it’s one of her only “vices,” and I’ve come to a place of understanding where, I can see how hurtful it can be for people – whatever their age – to harass other people – whatever THEIR age – about anything. It’s a personal choice, and I think it’s really bad form to encourage children to disrespect their parents enough to pull this kind of crap. What I learned from the school system’s encouragement of my behaviour as a child (which included throwing out my parents ciagarettes, drawing skulls and crossbones, etc) was to disobey my parents – not cool.
I think that it is great to put heavy stuff on people, like I don’t want you to die, etc. I’ve done that to my loved ones when it seems right. I remember I was best man at my brother’s wedding and as I was making the toast, I told my Mother and Father that I feared for their sanity and would they please not join us in the toast and quit drinking altogether. It kind of took away from the moment, but I really got to them! My parents were quite embarrassed but they were drinking sometimes 3-4 glasses per wine per week. Each!
When I was a kid, I used to put those prank exploding sticks into my dad’s cigarettes. He’s be smoking away and then POP! followed by a stream of curse words. Ahh, that was funny!
18yrs later, I don’t put exploding things in their cigarettes, but I do get on them both about their smoking. My kids (4,7) have lost their paternal grandma and my grandma to lung cancer in the past 6 months. They now make it their personal mission to tell my parents how dumb they are for wanting to die whenever they see them light up.
everybody dies!
iwant to know what i died from.
I could really care less if someone wants to smoke, I just don’t want to smell it or have the butts litter my sidewalk, beaches or mountain trails. I live in the desert where fire risks are high and everynight driving home from work some idiot throws a butt out of the car window. Gladly they have eliminated the smoking section of restaurants where I live but now that means I can no longer enjoy an evening dining out on the patio without smelling like an ashtray.
If my habit was farting you would not appreciate it if I sat near you while you were eating. Or if I was bulimic you wouldn’t want me to puke near you.
I won’t harrass anyone to quit but I will make it known that I DO NOT LIKE TO SMELL the disgusting things, that is infringing on my right to breath.
I have no need to harass my friends who smoke, or my father who was diagnosed with lung cancer four years ago and still smokes. Why?
Because I’ve quit smoking myself, and everyone around me is aware of it. I know how hard it is to quit, and actions speak louder than words. There’s nothing anyone can say about smoking that makes a stronger statement than what I’ve done. I trust the people I love to see that, and make of it what they will.
I’m free to do this because I’m an adult now – I don’t *have* to live with dad’s cigarette smoke, for example. Children don’t have it quite so good, and parents who subject their kids to secondhand smoke and a smoking lifestyle deserve reproach. To those kids, I say: speak up – and good for you!
For those of you adults who have never *had* to quit smoking – good for you too. But understand that your harassment – if it truly is such – may be more self-serving than anything else.
I think it is sad that there is so much debate over something that is knowingly bad for you. That goes for eating, drinking, gaming, etc., too. Those indulging know it is bad for you, yet they continue and get violent about it when it is called in question. Just recently, I saw a woman standing outside in a thunderstorm to smoke. If only the rest of us were that dedicated to the things that really matter the world would be a better place.
I work in a pediatric emergency room. All winter we get babies coming back time and time again, the common component…. their parents smoke! They all smoke outside and never near the child,yeah right, but I don’t think it is any coindcidence that the babies constantly catch colds and can’t breath. I feel that I am being an advocate for that precious child when I tell the parents what the already know QUIT SMOKING, YOU ARE KILLING YOUR BABY!
If my habit was farting you wouldn’t want to walk infront of me or sit next to me while eating now would you
Harassing smokers to quit may only work for the short term. quitters will start smoking again, unless they themselves truly decided to quit and are willing & committed to delay gratification in order to achieve long term health. Only people who posses such qualities can do it. i.e. i am saying that less 10% of the population do have the potential to quit smoking. most of the people are weak and can’t quit. Harrsing them will not work.
I smoked for almost 50 years and quit over a year ago. It’s easier than I thought…all one has to do is to fall from a ladder, break a few ribs and collapse a lung. That, followed by not being able to breathe and then having a nurse shame your intelligence, is a guaranteed way to quit. I highly recommend it.
I have tried quitting many times and I haven’t quit for good yet. That doesn’t mean that I don’t plan to quit, I just haven’t done it yet. The guilt trips don’t help, they just make me angry at the person creating the guilt trip.
I too feel that the government should subsidize smoking cessation programs and products. The fuzzy logic of being able to pay $5 for a pack of cigs but not $100 for a month of quitting smoking aids really does work for smokers because it is easier to come up with a smaller amount of money faster. Besides, who can save to buy the aids when we’re too busy spending that money on cigs? Its a vicious cycle and I’m almost convinced the government likes it that way!
I wish I had never picked up my first cigarette and I don’t need self-righteous non-smokers to remind me of that. I get reminded of that everytime I smoke anywhere but in my own home or my own car.
Wish me luck, I’ll try again to quit…soon!
all u over weight people are a true health issue, but can you tell fatso to eat better, nope, you all want to be controlled by the goverment, but only if u agree, smokeing is legal, and this the land of the free, so you don’t like it, leave
I’m sure someone has said it before “no one loves a cigarette more than than me”, well, I coined that phrase :) I’m 54 years old and I quit smoking Feb. 27, 2007. I was 17 when I started and was a heavy smoker, 2 to 3 packs a day. I tryed so hard to quit over the years, I would go almost an entire day without a cigarette and then cave. I felt like a failure so often trying to quit that I said the heck with it, why torture myself. On Feb. 6th of 2007, my daughter had a beautiful little baby girl, Megan. My husband and I stayed with my daughter and her husband for a week to help out. After a few days my daughter came to me and said these words… “Mom, when you hold Megan, she smells like smoke”. OK, I knew how hard it was for my daughter to say that to me. That hurt me so bad. I told my daughter I was going to quit and it would be within a month. I have not touched a cigarette since Feb. 27, 2007. My husband, who has never smoked, was so happy. I feel so much better now! It’s good knowing my little granddaughter will have a smoke free grandma! Megan was such a good reason to quit smoking ;)
Being fat does not affect the air you breath. I could care less if you smoke I just don’t wish to breath it. I don’t like having to use an inhaler because you chose to stand by the door to a building I was entering.
Why do people bring up two wrongs to try to justify themselves? We are not talking about fat people. We are talking about smokers. I worked in an ER and we constantly had children coming in with lasting colds and flu’s due to their parents refusal to put their cigarettes down long enough for the poor child to recover. The child would be wheezing away and you could smell the stench of cigarettes on the parents and child’s clothing. I’ve never seen a case of lingering colds and flu’s due to the child’s parents being fat.
Smokers don’t want anyone telling them what to do but lets hope that they won’t burden their families when it all catches up to them and they end up sick and dependent.
I quit smoking the day my son (at age 2) picked up a cigarette from the ashtray and started pretend smoking. If that doesn’t shame you, what will?
I was a nervous wreck, wanting cigarettes every hour. I couldn’t even finish a meal at a restaurant or watch a movie without wanting to leave early to have a puff. Smoking is a total waste of time. After 3 miserable months, you forget you ever smoked.
We all die of something, be it stress, pollution, diet, heredity, toxins, nervousness, family medical history, disease, accident, or war. We all should remember that there is no such thing as another chance. No one has ever come back from the dead. We only have one life, and we should always enjoy each day as if it were the last.
You people piss me off. You have no right to harass me.
You have NO RIGHT to harass me. I’ll quit when I want to. Get out of my face.
In our PC world,its OK to do anything to a smoker to get him or her to quit under the guise of “its for their well being” and these same do-gooders support the right of women to kill their unborn children.
You have no idea why I smoke, and to insist that I stop is totally none of your business. I don’t smoke in public. I don’t smoke around people who object to it. I don’t even smoke in my own house if I know there are people coming over who might object or be adversely affected by it.
But I’ve been suffering from depression since I was 13. My mother committed suicide when I was 17. I am struggling daily to resist the temptation to drive into a bridge abutment. And yes, I’ve sought help, to no avail.
If smoking gets me through the day, is it anyone elses business but mine? Sure, it’s an addiction. And yes, it’s offensive to many…but I try not to offend.
You who insist that others quit have no idea what smoking might do for them. It might help them relieve stress, which is a real killer…and while lifting weights or doing cardio might be preferable, you have no idea what others might be struggling with.
You have a right to clean air, but don’t harass a smoker, thinking it’s best for them. It might actually be the only way they get through the day.
Uh this isn’t an abortion discussion, it is about smoking.
I think the argument many of you have made about other vices (overeating, drinking, etc.) are in some cases valid, but here’s the deal with smoking: when you smoke around others, whether they like it or not, they are breaking that crap in.
I’ll be completely honest: I freakin’ hate smokers. I resent them. My parents both smoke. They used to smoke in the house, in the car, even in my bedroom while I was asleep and couldn’t get away from it. I now have asthma and I get colds/flu all the time due to my weakened immune system.
If my parents were obese, that would not have directly affected me (unless I, too, picked up their bad habit). If they were alcoholics, perhaps that would’ve affected me, but the majority of parents who are casual drinkers don’t harm their children in any way and are wise enough to know not to drive while drunk.
Even after my doctor gave my parents explicit instructions not to smoke around me (which happened about four years after my asthma diagnosis), my dad will still smoke in the car when I’m with him. It still pisses me off.
If you want to smoke, go right ahead. I’m still going to think it’s absolutely disgusting and I will probably have far less respect for you than I would have if you were a non-smoker. If you smoke around your, or anyone else’s, children, though, I would personally call protective services. Anyone who smokes in the direct presence of their child is physically harming them and ought to be punishes.
…Did I mention I REALLY don’t like smokers?
In conclusion, smokers should keep in mind that while they do have the right to smoke, it doesn’t mean people aren’t going to hate it or even nag them about it. Myself, and many other non-smokers, WILL have less respect for you because you smoke. If you can’t show yourself a little respect or even respect those around you by not smelling like an ashtray all the time, we sure as hell aren’t going to respect you.
I smoked for 26 years and God help me I am still here. I am not a religious person but I prayed over the toilet as I broke and poured my freshly bought pack in the toilet. I used the patch, I figured that I needed the help, I was not going to be bold about it. I was serious, I was going to do it and not relapse.
I still miss it but I don’t think about it every day or every few hours as was my life before I quite.
I gained 60 lbs and was always too thin before I quite. So now I am an ex-smoker (and not a nasty ex-smoker) and a fatty. Now the family won’t leave me alone about my weight.
I have experienced childbirth, divorce , managing my disabled children and death of an ex-spouse and I have to say that quiting smoking was the hardest of all to endure, but I did it and with not one slip up. I still miss it but not enough to go back now.
You have to really want it.
Yes, ok for adults to harrass their friends. I started smoking late at a stressful time and a friend of mine harrassed me out of it. But not before I experienced just how addictive it is. This friend also provided me with lots of helpful quitting suggestions. It was an enlightened harrassement and it worked.
This is in response to Sad. Sad’s Father accourding to Sad, didn’t love her because he smoked and couldn’t afford braces for her. (The thinking being that if he didn’t smoke he would’ve had the money to buy her braces) Well he is dead…and his daughter blames him.
Sad…I feel badly for your Father. Did he feed you food growing up? I guess so as you are alive. Did he make sure your got an education? I guess so as you can read and write. Did he put a house over your head? That is 100’s of thousands of dollars worth of “stuff” he gave you because he apparently loved you. You repay him not with money of course…after all what child repays the 100’s of thousands of $$$ they consume from their parents? But you repay him by telling the world that he didn’t care about you or himself…BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GET BRACES? Aren’t you old enough to buy them yourself? What stupid crud are you wasting your money on that is not braces? Because apparently braces are more important to you than respect FOR YOUR DEAD FATHER.
It’s pretty “sad” to read really.
I am absolutely astounded at some of the things which I have read here. I am a smoker. I live in a state in which smoking is not allowed within 25′ of a door or window. I do not smoke anywhere indoors – not even in my own home. Nevertheless, there are those “holier than thou” people who continue to force their opinions on me. If you are so allergic to smoke that you cannot stand to have it anywhere near you outdoors, then you should probably stay home. The outdoors is full of fumes from autos, allergens, pollens, etc. Can you logically blame all of your problems on a smoker who is standing somewhere outside? I think not.
Some of you say that fat people do not affect anyone but themselves. Excuse me!! How many obese people are on disability??? In this case not only are they bleeding Social Security beyong its capacity, they are also receiving free medical treatment at taxpayers expense. We are all paying for their stupidity.
I encountered a man who was so obese that he had to get around in a wheel chair because his knees would no longer support him. Did he have a right to criticize me?
I was equally amazed at the person who said that it was OK for grandchildren to tell their grandparents that they were stupid for smoking. If I had a grandchild who said anything like that, I would seriously question the parents’ ability to raise children to be decent, caring people.
As long as I am not eating next to you in a restaurant or smoking in your home, you have absolutely no right to interfere. I am an adult. As such, I am completely aware that smoking is a horrible habit. However, some day I believe that good science will prove that, for some people, it is nearly impossible to quit. Trust me, I have tried.
To Yuck –
You present a compelling argument. Humorous, but it’s also the only one that a smoker (like me) can identify with. If I ever can quit smoking, I’m going to remember your words when I talk to other smokers. Thanks for bringing some levity and relevance to the discussion.
To Skip: If you live in NY there is a NY quitters line. Call information for the number. They offer free starter patches if you qualify. (What they mean by qualifying is if you meet certain health criteria). If you do not live in NY try your department of health, they can direct you. Best wishes
I’ll bet these are the same kids that
laugh at a plump class mate and make pig noises.
They are the kids that tease other kid that are different.
Harassment is just a fancy grown up word for the acts of a bully, and should not be taught to children not matter the reason.
The fact that it will kill them may have no effect, but when they know it makes them look like low class losers, they may change their minds!
Non smokers should come to realize that without smokers in society paying HUGE taxes, not only would prices in America triple overnight, the nation would go from recession to depression. In short, next time you see a smoker, kiss his feet. Without them you’d be living third world!!
Smoking is stupid. Why adult smokers choose to shorten their lives & cause numerous physical problems to themselves such as stroke, heart attack, emphysema, lung diseases, cancers, decreased energy, wrinkled skin is unfathomable. Quitting, though hard, is not as hard as leaving their loved ones thru early death or disabilities. Comments above saying that harassed smokers smoke even more are amazingly stupid & immature. Remarks about alcohol & obesity have nothing to do with the issue of smoking & is a denial of the issue.
Why bother harrassing? It doesn’t work. I started smoking when I was 17. I was harrassed for years by parents and friends. My mother harrassed my older brother for years as well. So, what was the turning point for us?
For me, no patches, gums, or pills kept me away from the call of nicotine. But, the year before I turned 30, I just decided that being a smoker was not who I wanted to be anymore. One day, I watched a student of mine, who is 2 years older than me, wheeze and huff himself up 10 stairs to get into the building. I decided I didn’t want to be that pitiful 2 years or even 10 years down the road. I quit cold turkey. That was almost 3 years ago. I still have dreams in which I smoke, but I don’t have cravings very often. For me, I used smoking as a reward system or as something to do when I was bored. I had to find other, healthier ways to reward myself and keep myself entertained. Still, sometimes, it’s hard to have a beer and not want a smoke. I had to make the decision, on my own, that I was not going to be a smoker anymore.
For my brother, the birth date of his first child was his quit date. He was prescribed a medication that gradually reduces your need/desire for nicotine. He had tried all sorts of other pills, patches, and gums. But, nothing motivated him quite like NOT rubbing his stinky smoke smell off on his newborn son.
You can beg, yell, send messages (subtle or not so much). I have found that the smoker has to find personal inspiration to stop. Or, like my grandfather, you just wake up and decide you ar tired of smoking and quit.
I just think it is funny to watch people get off of planes in Phoenix and realize that there is no smoking area in the airport and that the have to get onto another plane without feeding their habit. It is entertaining.
Years ago, my boss’s young son poked pin holes in all his cigarettes just above the filters. I don’t think it made his dad quit, but it sure made him notice the protest!
I have flown all over the US. The only places that I’ve found with smoking areas are in Nevada and – unbelievably – LA. That is the price you pay to fly. Most smokers are well aware of this. I kind of wonder whether you visit the bar or the many food vendors in Phoenix? Getting your fix???
I quit 1 1/2 yrs ago after several decades only because it was driving me nuts-controlling my day and night. I used the medicine Chantix-it worked, nothing else available did, except hypnosis for a while. I can say that I miss smoking every day, and, I know you can forget the bad parts in time, but it feels like I lost my friend(s). I know how it is bad, but I gained 35 lbs this year and I don’t feel better. I have fat I never had before, and some is due to my age, job, eating , etc., butI keep thinking a lot is to do with my metabolism changing from lack of all the smoking activities-going outside, washing up ,more, chewing gum, mints, etc.
In time I hope I feel right about this, but I still can’t believe what an addiction smoking is. I had done my share of drinking, but never got addicted, so it puzzles me. Anyhow-I would never judge someone about smoking unless you are perfect, with no vices, no coffee (Stinky, but forced on us everywhere), no fast food, no gambling, etc, etc. And I grew up where no one smoked-hmmmm
C Luders
Thank you so much for your honesty. I totally admire you for your courage, and hope that you continue to be successful. Thank you also for being so non-judgemental. If only more of the people writing could be like you………………..
No, it is never right to harass anyone about anything. As a former smoker, who doesn’t smoke right now (I’ll never say I’ve quit, just that I don’t smoke now.) I’ve found harassment to be very counter-productive. While you do it (harass) under the guise of helping someone, you’re actually imposing your sense of right or wrong on someone else, and I doubt it very much that you would like someone to “harass” you about one of your habits.
As far as reasoning that smokers cost “us” money in health care, how much does it cost “us” for chronically overweight people? For drinkers, both excessive and casual? There are lots of habits that are both unhealthy and costly in terms of medical care. Picking and choosing the ones that are ok with you, and unacceptable to others is very egotistical.
Smoking is bad for your health, and anyone who says different is ignoring known facts. But the best thing you can do as a non-smoker is to politely let your views be known to the smoker, request that if they smoke to be considerate of you, and to encourage them when they try to quit. I know from experience that if you’re not ready to quit, no amount of “harassment” will make that person quit.
All smokers should have to spend 5 years hauling around a person who has COPD, emphysema and heart disease and help them as they stuggle with their oxygen tanks, wheelchairs and walkers and try to keep them calm when they can’t breathe because their oxygen tank is running out. Watch the terror in their face when they are being intubated because they are in respiratory distress. Then spend 3 months caring for a person who has lung cancer. Sit there spoon feeding them,wipe their mouths, change their Depends, bathe them and then hold their hand as they die. When you have done that, THEN you will have the right to say smokers should be left alone.
I am a smoker of going on 15 years. It is definately a hard habit to break. I have tried (unsuccessfully) several times to quit. I am, however, a considerate smoker. If I am in public, or with friends and family, I ask them if it will bother them if I smoke. If it does, then I won’t. I don’t want to subject them to something that makes them uncomfortable. On the other hand, in my work envorinment, we are only allowed to smoke outside on our break. That is totally fine. The one thing I have a problem with is people just coming up to me and telling me I need to quit. I already know I need to quit. The problem is, I don’t need you telling me I need to quit. I use my own money to pay for my habit, not anyone elses. I just wish more people would use a little restraint before telling me how to live my life. I know I’m not perfect in any way, but if I am not telling you how to live your life or subjecting you to my smoke, then back off.
I have been known to harass my best friends who smoke. Reminders, messages, posters, anything goes. I think it has worked, because of the 3 friends I have most pestered about it, two have quit for good and one is down to 1 or 2 cigarettes a day. Importantly, I believe my gentle but persistent pestering help them realize smoking is not only a personal choice, it affects people around you, and the people who are the most around you tend to be your friends.
Yes but do you ask the people walking by you or sitting near you if it is ok if you smoke. Do you ask if it is ok to throw your butt on the sidewalk or put it out into a plant.
You smokers sure come up with some goofy rationalizations. Like: “My smoking is okay because it provides funding for public services!” Good one! Smoking taxes don’t begin to pay for the burden of medical care we all have pay for smoking-related illnesses. Or: “We have a RIGHT to smoke!” Wrong! You have no right to pollute the air and endanger the lives of others.
Smoking is a filthy habit that is intolerable to polite society: the clouds of stench that surround you, and the filthy little messes you make with butts and ashes many times a day. It’s disgusting, right up there with spitting and nose-picking when viewed it objectively.
I get a kick out of the smokers who wonder if we nonsmokers will start harrassing obese people as well? We won’t. Overweight people don’t pose threats to OUR health and clean air!
At any rate, this article was about whether kids and loved ones should try to persuade the smokers in their live to quit. It was not about harrassing strangers, which seems unimaginable. (By definition, nonsmokers have better manners than smokers – we don’t create litter and fill the air with carcinogens, which are rude things to do.)
Of course we should do everything we can to convince our loved ones to quit, so we won’t have to watch them suffer and die. And then pick up the pieces, and mourn, and carry on without them.
I recently lost a beloved relative to smoking and I miss him every day. Even after painful surgeries and radiation for oral cancer, and a feeding tube, he kept smoking. I think dying of lung cancer that metastasized to the brain, or oral cancer, has GOT to be harder than quitting. I know it’s hard, but people do quit successfully all the time.
Hmmm,
You and your perfect friends got what you wanted; it is now illegal to smoke anywhere but outside in most states. Please do not expect us to ask if it is OK if we smoke outside. It is the only place that we CAN smoke. Furthermore, most of us are courteous enough to not throw cigarette butts on the sidewalk or in a plant. However, if receptacles for cigarettes were provided, they would certainly be used. What do you expect??????????
Zap,
You are hardly one to talk about “polite society”. Before you criticize others, you might want to figure out what polite actually means. It doesn’t mean the vitriol that you spew.
Smoking is a filthy, dirty habit that kills the user.
I am a 55 year old male and as long as I can remember, my mother was a very heavy smoker since the day I was born.
She was college educated, very well read, and probably more enlightened on social issues that I ever was.
I can never remember a time when “Mom” didn’t have a cigarette in her mouth.
In January, 2004, I got a call from her that she had been diagnosed with “Small cell carcinoma of the lung”.
A month after her diagnosis, the the cancer cells had moved to her brain and the PET Scans indicated she needed radiation treatment for that as well.
Extensive chemotherapy coupled with CT-Stans and PET-Scans proved immediately that she was terminal.
Her time from diagnosis to death was seven months.
I have never seen a single human being get SO sick and die so fast as my mo ther, short of a heart attack or a stroke.
The suffering was beyond belief. Despite the morphine, despite the Home Hospice care personnel who tried to convince us that their medications were “specially enhanced for advanced cancer patients”, I watched her die by the minute and it was beyond horrible.
Smoking is a killer and a fast a deadly one at that.
Are you stupid enough to smoke?
It is time to quit.
I am not a smoker, but it is painful for me to hear my (much younger) sister-in-law beg her father and step mother to quit, after this girl lost her biological mother to cancer when she was seven, only to see her pleas fall on deaf ears. She harasses out of legitimate fear that she knows all too well.
And to those who complained about being “harassed” by “fake coughs” – they most certainly are not always fake. Smoking is truly disgusting, and causes many physical reactions. One is coughing. Another is death.
Really most people put their butts in the appropriate place. Is throwing out your car window appropriate, why should a business have to spend money on special recepticles? Maybe you could put the filthy thing in your hand and dispose of it somewhere appropriate. I can’t tell you the number of times my 2 year old has brought me cigerette butts while playing at the park. I saw a guy throw a still smoking butt out of his window at a gas station the other day so tell me how your smoking only affects you.
John,
I am very sorry for your loss. My father, who never smoked in his life, died of lung problems from working in the ship yards during the war. He was exposed to asbestos every single day.
You obviously have a huge concern for people. Why don’t you concentrate this concern on people who are addicted to illegal drugs and steal, murder, and do other crimes in order to feed their addictions?
Furthermore, there are huge studies which prove that children of obese parents are extremely likely to become obese themselves. Is this not a problem with which society should be concerned?
There are so many problems in the world today. It just amazes me that so many people have so much energy to devote to attempt to force so few people who smoke to quit. Why not concentrate on the world-wide issues?
Hmmm,
I personally get rid of the burning portion of the cigarette, and hold the rest until I am able to dispose of it in a proper receptacle. Since you perfect people have decided that people can only smoke outside, perhaps it would be appropriate for you to provide somewhere for the butts to go?
I sincerely hope that somehow your 2-year old figures out how to be less judgemental, and more accepting of others, than you are. It doesn’t look like this will happen, though.
I quit smoking in 2005. I miss it terribly.
I live in Washington, where it is illegal to even smoke outside if you’re within 25 feet of a building. People justify this by using the ‘it effects me’ argument. See, once you can make someone else’s behavior affect you then you’re only protecting yourself. You get to be self-righteous and control others’ behavior under the guise of self defense. It’s insidious:
Your cheeseburgers are costing me higher insurance premiums. I have the right to make cheeseburgers illegal.
Your perfume makes me sneeze. You must not wear perfume.
Your patterned shirts give me a headache. You must wear solid colors.
Your cigarettes may make me sick. You must not smoke.
Your music offends me. You must not listen to it.
See? It just never stops. Look at the ridiculous comparisons in this forum…smoking to farting, for example. Sad, really. And more than a little pathetic. Those two things are not the same, no matter how cool the slogan sounds.
Yeah, I quit smoking. But I did it DESPITE the people who felt compelled to inflict their health choices on me, not because of them.
BillP,
I also live in the State of Washington. I have had several friends who quit smoking. Some of them have said that it didn’t really bother them. Obviously, they were the ones who weren’t really addicted. Others, like you, are extremely honest and say that it really bothers them. The third category is composed of the ones who did quit, miss it like crazy, but pretend to scorn those who still smoke. They are the worst. I had one “friend” who told me what a complete fool I was to keep smoking. She has quit, started, quit, started several times. She has now been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, and is smoking more than ever.
Kudos to you who have quit, admit that you miss it, and still stay free. You are to be admired. You are in the minority.
I absolutely agree with you about the other vices which people have. In New York City trans-fats are now banned. How long will it be before fast food restaurants, coffee shops, ice cream parlors, etc. will follow? The pc police will never give up……
As an ex-smoker who started at 14 and quit at 19 (no thanks to my chain smoking former friends), the best solution and the only one that protects me is to just avoid the losers altogether. Don’t buy the “I tried but I can’t quit” garbage, anyone can quit if they really want to. Many who insist for decades that they can’t, manage to do so after they are diagnosed with a self inflicted disease, which proves that they were capable all along. Everyone has the right to breathe clean air, and because smoking kills non-smokers, anyone who smokes around a non-smoker, even outdoors, deserves to be harassed. Unfortunately, since they’ve already proven how rude they are by lighting up around others, most smokers will react with even more rude behavior. The only solution is to avoid them like the plague that they are, and stay away from establishments that encourage or permit smoking.
Why can you tell smokers all this, but when you say hey fatty why you so fat is it so wrong. Personally fat people make me more mad than smokers
There is no magic method that I’ve found effective in dealing with my own smoking habit. What has been working the last few days is the thought of having to listen to my partner complain about my smoking. It (her complaining) is distasteful to me for the following reasons: 1. She is a casual smoker who wants me to quit entirely. 2. She insists that drinking is fine despite the fact that she has hepatitis A-Z from the years she’d spent sharing drug needles.
All this to say that adults should express their concerns to their mate in a kind and loving manner. It’s ok to set boundaries in the home as-well. But be loving. If your going to take to the soap box, I suggest that you weigh your words, and measure them against your own behavior. In other words, spare your mate any hypocrisy. Be fair and honest with yourself before you ask your mate to give-up anything. Especially a smoking habit.
I’m on day 4 of my latest attempt to quit this dirty habit that I’ve enjoyed so much. My partner has been wondering how I’ve drawn up such will power. What she will soon learn is that quit or not, I will leave her as-well.
Zap,
Do I have the RIGHT to smoke? YES, I do, because it is not illegal. Until the United States Government mandates that smoking is illegal, I, as an American, have the right to make the choice to smoke. Have you every picked up a rifle and stood on the front line to defend this country? Well, I have, so I have earned that right to chose to smoke if I wish. I started smoking in Iraq because for some reason, not sure why, but combat tends to be a little bit stressful and smoking helped me deal with the things that saw and you couldn’t imagine possible. Things happen in this world that are terrible and smoking should be the least of your concerns if you want to make a difference.
I am, however, a courteous smoker. I do not smoke in restaurants, regardless if there is a smoking section or not. I do not smoke in my house and I do not smoke in my vehicle. As far as the butts are concerned, I field strip them and dispose of them in a place that you will never see.
Many states have mandated no smoking in public places such as restaurants and I have no problem with that, but mandating no smoking in a bar is going too far. The law is choosing one group of individuals over another. As one poster stated previously, I can’t recall anytime I have ever heard of anyone killing someone for driving while under the influence of nicotine.
Are you completely without vices? Are you perfect in every way and have never uttered a single word of profanity in your life? Never stolen anything? Never watched a pornographic video or viewed a pornographic magazine? If not, then keep your self-righteous harassment to your self because when you get down to it, it is exactly that, harassment. It is just as bad as sexual, racial, religious, or any other form of harassment.
As far as the comment on the burden of medical care for smoking related illnesses, I’m sorry but that argument is not going to hold water. Completely banning smoking is not going to cut the cost of medical care enough to make a dent in what you and I pay in taxes and the air is polluted more everyday by the vehicles we drive, the factories that we have built, and the other chemicals that we use. A cigarette will never amount to that kind of a pollutant.
No, it is not all right to harass them. My sister died three years ago of smoking-related lung cancer, and she had tried everything she could think of , for two decades, to quit, and she simply could not. I used to smoke, too, but was able to quit. Maybe my sister had a deeper addiction gene than I. If there’s anything I can’t stand worse than a holier-than-thou ex-smoker, it’s a holier-than-thou person who has never had any kind of addiction. I supported my sister when she was trying to quit, and I supported her when she fell off the wagon and smoked again. She was a fine and complex person, more than just the person who smoked and could not quit. If I had harassed her, the outcome would have been the same. Don’t you just hate it when somebody harasses you and gets on your case to change your bad habits into good ones or tries to get you to “see reason?” I do, even if they’re right, and I don’t “see reason” on my own for years.
Let’s remember the question here was if it’s ok to harass the “smokers we love.” I know my husband loves me very much and he always reminded me about the dangers of smoking for the first 10 years of our marriage until I finally quit for myself, for him and for my children. That was 15 years ago. I thank God he didn’t give up his mission to make me want to quit smoking.
It seems fair to have a word with smokers who don’t seem to consider other people’s health and well-being, e.g., their smoke may trigger asthma attacks which are becoming all too prevalent. Whatever happened to “do you mind if I smoke?”
To all the “Smokers are inconsiderate” crowd… get real! Why don’t you start nagging truckers to stop throwing tons and tons of particulate emissions into the atmosphere – Millions of times more ‘environmental pollution’ than that ‘inconsiderate smoker’ puts out there. Get a grip and get some perspective for god’s sake! Is your ‘moral superiority’ really so authentic or just something you desparately hold on to to validate your existance? Gotta feel superior to others!
I just wanted to point out something that I think everyone seems to be missing: There is a HUGE difference between coming up to me and saying “HEY, did you KNOW that smoking is BAD FOR YOU?!” or saying “Would you mind not smoking around me? I find it really unpleasant.” In the former, you’re being a condescending ass, but in the latter, you’re making a completely legitimate request which would be rude of me to deny. I know that smoking is unhealthy, I know a wide variety of statistics and anecdotes and such, I don’t need you to tell me all that, and my situation is really none of your business. However, if it is actually *bothering* you then I will be sure not to smoke around you, since I truly am not aiming to bother anyone. If you are someone close to me and you are worried about my health, then have a sincere conversation with me about it, maybe a few over a period of time, but don’t shame or “tsk tsk” me like a petty child. We can handle this like respectful adults.
I have been a smoker now for 22 years. Believe me I have tried to quit. I don’t want to smoke yet I have not been able to break the addiction.
What I would like is for the US government to stop making silly no-smoking laws in restaurants and bars etc. I want them to BAN cigarettes and tobacco completely. Smokers know its bad. Non-Smokers know its bad. The government knows it is bad.
However here is the problem. The taxes you have leveed on us for years as smokers pay for so many local/state/federal programs ranging from healthcare to schools that they will not make smoking illegal.
If you talk about raising sales tax or property tax to support those programs after they made smoking illegal all of the non-smokers would be like “WHOA! Wait a minute!”
So this is my challenge for non-smokers. Be willing to share the cost of a “post-smoking” society.
What do you do when someone you love smokes and is diabetic? I don’t want to be a nag, but I do mention it often. He stopped for a couple of months. Now he’s trying to quit again. The chances of smoking-related illness is much higher for diabetics. He jokingly tells my telling him not to smoke causes stress which leads him to more smoking. I believe my constant reminder of how much I love him and want him around many more years helps him to realize I’m not nagging for the sake of nagging. Hopefully, this time he’ll quit for good.
Smokers murder 30,000+ non-smoking people in the USA each year with their second-hand smoke. Their tobacco abuse harms people who are often their children or other family members. There is substantial scientific proof of the harm to non-smokers caused by secondhand smoke. I care about the feelings and health of non-smokers. I do not care about the feelings of smokers (who, in spite of all of the scientific evidence) continue to harm and injure and cause disease and disability in innocent people with tobacco smoke. I look forward to the day when tobacco sales and use is penalized like cocaine or heroin sales and use. At least these illegal drugs don’t regularly and directly cause illness and death (like tobacco smoke) in people living with the users.
I don’t have children to nag me because when I was pregnant, I smoked. This is what probably caused SIDS. I continued to smoke even after that.
What finally worked was making a deal with my husband. If he would loose weight, I would quit. I thought I would never have to make good on that because he couldn’t lose weight.
To my suprise and relief, he had gastric bypass surgery and lost 200 pounds. So after taking Chantix for 4 months, I was able to finally quit on Sept. 12 2007.
I have had a lot of health problems and been in the hospital 10 times since then but am still not smoking
I’ve been with my husband for 3 years and we have an 8 month old baby boy. He’s been smoking since his teenage years and I’m trying really, really hard to quit this habit. His father passed away a year after we married and my aunt died of cancer two weeks ago. It breaks my heart everytime he smokes because I’m afraid for his health and our family. The only good thing about this situation is that when he smokes, he doesn’t do it in front of our son because of second-hand smoking.
Don’t get me wrong, though, because he is trying to quit. I know it is tough for him to hear me harrass him every 30 minutes or so but he’s actually cut down. He tells me everytime he does it, it scares him but I guess it’s not enough to make him go “cold-turkey”.
I know that tabacco companies will never stop selling their products but I’m still hoping for a mircale to happen.
Your headline asks the question “Is it ok to harass the smokers we love?”
Your answer in the article? “You tell me.”
What good is that?
as an ex-smoker of 26 years (I quit cold turkey a year and a half ago), , it depends…To have a chold tell their parent is one thing , but to have another non-smoking adult who doesn’t understand the difficulty in quitting is quite another…I find delicate ways of telling friends, without dictating to them or using tragic examples of others who didn’t…I didn’t want to hear lectures and I am assuming they don’t either..usually when I walk and talk with them and they light up and I mention to them I used to smoke, I try to make the conversation go in the direction of when I smoked and how I quit without sounding superior or preachy..I tell them how easy it really is and how the products don’t work unless you really want to quit and if you really want to quit you really don’t need the products..there are a lot of reasons I quit and one of them was hearing my young nephews innocently comment on the smell in my apartment and seeing the interest in one of my nephews (who appeared to think it was cool)..I then mentioned how I did smoke and how stupid it was to start and how difficult it was too quit ,as I never wanted him to pick up the habit. That in part spurred me to quit.
Honestly, I could care less if a stranger smokes. Just don’t do it near me. It smells horrible. Why should people have to suffer so you can get high? Now if my relatives smoke, then I have no problem harrassing them. It’s a nasty habit, and that’s the price they pay for choosing to kill themselves.
Smoking reduces life expectancy by 1-3 years, according to the CDC’s own tables and the dangers of secondhand smoke are illusory. Criticize if you want, but add to the mix fat people, people who ingest dairy products, ugly people, stinky people, lazy people, ignorant people, noisy people, people who fart too much, people who read too little, people with low IQs, people with too many kids…I’m probably missing a few here…but love those who take your disposable income and know what’s good for you. Welcome to the plantation. Now go eat.
Hi Mark, Nice Statistic. Let’s see a cite please. Here’s an actual factual quote from a real-life study. Hope you folks enjoy some truth.
http://www.data-yard.net/science/ets_other/gori_mantel_1991.pdf
Environmental tobacco smoke (ETS) is derived from cigarette smoldering and active smoker
exhalation. Its composition displays broad quantitative differences and redistributions between
gas and respirable suspended particulate (RSP) phases when compared with the mainstream smoke
(MSS) that smokers puff. This is because of different generation conditions and because ETS is
diluted and ages vastly more than MSS. Such differences prevent a direct comparison of MSS
and ETS and their biologic activities. However, even assuming similarities on an equal mass
basis, ETS-RSP inhaled doses are estimated to be between 10,000- and 100,000-fold less than
estimated average MSS-RSP doses for active smokers. Differences in effective gas phase doses are
expected to be of similar magnitude. Thus the average person exposed to ETS would retain an
annual dose analogous to the active MSS smoking ofconsiderably less than one cigarette dispersed
over a I-year period. By contrast, consistent epidemiologic data indicate that active smoking of
some 4-5 cigarettes per day may not be associated with a significantly increased risk of lung
cancer. Similar indications also obtain for cardiovascular and respiratory diseases. Since average
doses of ETS to nonsmoking subjects in epidemiologic studies are several thousand times less
than this reported intake level, the marginal relative risks oflung cancer and other diseases attributed
to ETS in some epidemiologic studies are likely to be statistical artifacts, derived from unaccounted
confounders and unavoidable bias.
ok let me re-iterate this again, Humans are born and they live and they DIE. doesn’t really matter why. If the world were really so against cigarettes, drinking, drugs whatever vice, then why do governments allow their creation in the first place? MONEY, PROFIT. got it? stop whining about everything you don’t like. we are not here to please YOU!
I totally agree with those who have said this is unacceptable bullying. A kid honestly trying to get his loved ones to quit is one thing– a kid being obnoxious by tormenting adults (and we all know it’s mostly attention-getting, rather than some sort of genuine concern for all smokers) is NEVER acceptable behavior.
As a Respiratory Care Practitioner & care giver of a parent with severe COPD (Emphsyma) & a long term care specialist, I dont think HARASSMENT is really the right word to use, more like worried, caring, sick of the smell, the phlem, the COST of thier healthcare when they dont have health insurance! How glamerous is it to experience a lung collaspe-chest tubes, lungs suckened to clear the airway, a tracheostomy, oxygen & oh lets not forget the medication-inhalers; how glamersous is that! How many of the sandwich generation or single parents, have to take time off of work with out pay, whos sick family member lives in another state, or even in the same city? I bet its more than you realize! How many smokers with children are concerned that second hand smoke-(carbon dioxide)is considered a carcinogen, the leading cause of upper respiratory healthcare issuses in children-ear infections, asthma, colds….As much as it is an addiction, its all about the choices we make…
Most of what I read in the artile was a lie. Back in 1971 smoking was not what it is considered today and they didn’t know what they know today. I don’t disagree at all now that smoking is bad but that was not always considered the case.
I didn’t start smoking until I got to Vietnam back in 1970. The GOVERNMENT gave us cigarettes in our rations packs. We used to get the little 5 cigarette packs issued to us. Maybe the cigarette companies did lie to us about what or how much they put into the cigarettes. Over 20 years ago I quit smoking in my house and I won’t smoke in anyone else house even if they smoke. It stinks and I don’t want to expose anyone else to it.
But nobody ever forced anyone to smoke. Probably 95% of people that started smoking then are just like the ones that start smoking now.
They do it out of peer pressure or becuase someone else is or becuase they want to look cool.
I smoke, I want to stop. Its a habit and its addictive. No doubt, no argument.
But all you do gooders need to shut up critizing and start encouraging. I promise your no better than anyone else. I have seen so many people that are so over weight to the point of obesity that criticize people for smoking. They can’t walk because they are so out of shape, they can’t breathe if they do walk and their arteris are so clogged with cholestoral they are close to dying but your wrong if you tell them they are fat. They have more medical problems than people that smoke.
I smoke, but I still walk 2 miles a day, I work out with weights to stay toned 3 times a week and I’m 58 years old.
A lot you people need to get a grip and a life.
We that have been smoking for a long time know now that it is bad but its still not that easy to stop.
Can you ones that weigh 50 to 200lbs more than you are supposed to stop stuffing your faces. Isn’t easy is it?
Way to many hypocrites in this country.
Wow: I’ve had an overwhelming response to this blog. I’m going to read all the great posts and respond on Monday. SM
People who manage to quit, have quit for their own sake – regardless of whether a spouse, friend, child, grandchild or none of the above inspired them to do so.
Of all the other issues people have brought up to vilify or justify smoking, not a single one is directly relevant. Being around fat people does not affect one’s right to stay thin. Being around people who serve in the armed forces does not affect one’s right to *not* serve in the armed forces. Being around people who are on welfare does not affect one’s ability to be a productive member of society. Being around alcoholics or drug addicts does not affect one’s right to stay clean. But being around smokers affects one’s right to breathe clean air, and that’s the extent of the issue here.
Thanks to smoking bans, if adults don’t want to be around smoke, they generally no longer have to. (It’s amazing how my stance on smoking bans has changed since I quit smoking!)
With this in mind, why harass anyone? It’s one thing to make your displeasure known in no uncertain terms. I’d say you have a right to do that – free speech and all. But if you’ve made your point and it’s had no effect, it’s just plain stupid not to simply walk away. Don’t preach to me about your *rights* if you’re not taking any *responsibility*.
Harassment, on the other hand, is persistent and gratuitous. I hope that by “harass”, the authors of this article simply meant “to continue to make your point”, and to do it in a respectful and dignified way. If that’s what you’re doing, I think that’s fine. If someone you love and spend a significant amount of time with insists on smoking in your presence, you can insist on reminding them of your feelings on the matter. Air, after all, is more addictive than nicotine.
But if you’ve simply decided that you “hate smokers”, or are just spouting vitriol to make *yourself* feel better – keep it to yourself. Your rage may be justified, but it’s impotent.
In this world, it’s a lot more impressive to be kind than it is to be right.
The issue here I think is about freedom of choice in a free society. Is it permissible for anyone, child or adult, to harass another person over choices that the other person makes – has the right to make. It is also about opinions, ignorance, and respect.
Opinions are not facts. Opinions are not truths, although many people think they are, especially their own. Indeed, some believe that their opinions are the ultimate truth because they base their lives on them. They don’t know better. That is ignorance.
So it comes down to opinions. It is my opinion that children should be seen but not heard. I have that opinion because children are not wise, they are not discriminating, they have little experience to base their opinions on, and they have not yet earned a chair at the roundtable of moral decision making. My choice across the board without exception is to disregard the opinions of children and of many adults who act or think like children.
There are no absolutes here in this topic, except perhaps respect. One person writing above has mentioned respect, as though she considers it as something tangible to be given by her like a cupcake, or granted like a study-hall pass. Respect, however, is behavior with an opposite counterpart, disrespect. There are reasons why respectfulness and honor toward our elders, mothers, fathers, and others, have been woven into our moral and religious codices over the centuries. It is tacitly implied in the Golden Rule, the most basic, fundamental code of societal interaction and it is clearly not bound to reciprocity because when you show respect for others, you are indeed actualizing it toward yourself – you are showing self respect.
Children need to be taught these social mores by and large, since they are not necessarily natural within context; circumstances where nuance is not self-evident. Personal freedom is not an easy concept to grasp or to actualize in my view, no matter how natural the claim for it is said to be. I do not believe that children grasp, actualize or grant personal freedom to others naturally. They surely with take it for themselves, insisting upon it, but a natural predilection for granting it to others is clearly not in evidence.
It is one thing to express your opinion or desire regarding someone else’s behavior, quite another indeed to harass them for behavior that you do not agree with. That is the crux of the argument in my view. I firmly believe that children do not possess the capacity to know the difference.
I recently picked up smoking and found it to be enjoyable and a way to reduce stress. I’m a 21 year old male and I eat well and exercise regularly. I’m studying food science and nutrition and hoping to become a dietician when I graduate.
When I smoke, I try to do it either by myself (seeing as I do it for personal reasons) and try to avoid smoking around people, regardless.
When I was younger, I grew up around a smoking parent and gave her grief and pressure to quit smoking as I had learned in school that it was bad. Sure, research points to how cigarettes can up your blood pressure, risk of heart disease and attack, risk of lung cancer and decrease overall immune function. What I never realized was that an adult who is of legal age to smoke is often aware that cigarettes are not healthy for you.
My mother has told me many times that smoking is the only way for her to relieve her stress, and she is under a considerable amount of stress as she is a single woman in her sixties who is trying to maintain a mortgage, go to college full time and work at a full time job. To her, she found it more important to smoke than to live with the stress.
In history, tobacco has been used ritually and spiritually as a way of protection and to hallucinate (some articles in my studies have described nicotine as more of a hallucinogen than a stimulant in high doses). At some point, Europeans discovered this “high” that is obtained through smoking and decided to grow, regulate and produce cigarettes.
As this government is a democracy, its economy is controlled by capitalist ideals. Cigarette companies began to put additives into cigarettes, bleach the paper and advertise in order to find buyers and hook them.
I think that this kind of desanctification of a plant that has been used long before in its natural form for religious reasons is disgusting. It makes it hard for smokers to quit and puts a gap between smokers who understand the addiction and non-smokers who don’t.
I think that harassing someone for smoking is the wrong way to go about telling them that you are concerned for their health and for the health of the world and people around them. If a smoker does not want to quit smoking, then they should not be forced into feeling like they should. The most that someone should be able to tell someone is that they are uncomfortable around the person when they’re smoking. Expressing concerns for health from a position of love is a different story, though.
Moderation is the key. Smoking too much is harmful and contributes to becoming more addicted. People who smoke should also try to avoid smoking when they are upset or stressed out as this can create a pathway for smoking unnecessarily. This is also seen when someone decides to drink alcohol when they’re upset; they setup a pathway for addiction.
I may or may not continue to smoke, depending on my health… But that’s a personal choice that I will make myself because I decided to smoke for myself and will quit for myself.
I smoked for over 20 years (at times as much as 3 packs a day). Yeah, I was harassed about it at times – I remember a time when as a college student a good friend of mine tossed a pack of my cigarettes out the car window. I tried to quit a few times, inevitably not succeeding.
Finally, about 15 years ago, I was able to quit for good. Did it cold turkey. And it was hell for a few weeks, but I increasingly became able to function without the crutch I’d had for so long. Why did I finally quit? It wasn’t really because of health reasons. Cost wasn’t much of a factor for me. No, it was a realization about how plain gross smoking is. Something finally clicked for me, and that image of my friend so many years before tossing my smokes took on new meaning. Yes, burn marks on pricey clothes, my furniture, etc, were something I was tired of. But above everything, fact is, I stunk. My clothes stunk. My car stunk. My house stunk. That’s why I finally quit.
No, while I was smoking, I couldn’t tell, because my nose was immune to the smell. But after I quit, and my sense of smell began to return, it genuinely hit home just how disgustingly gross smoking is. Forget the second hand smoke issue – heck, even when smokers aren’t smoking, their person and everything they touch smells like, well, smoke (and it’s not the same kind of smoke smell as from a campfire, by the way).
Because I’ve been there, I understand how addictive smoking is, and how hard it can be to quit. Those who have never smoked cannot appreciate just how tough it can be. But then again, those who do smoke often don’t realize how disgusting the smell they carry with them is as they walk in a crowd, sit on the train, or snuggle up with their loved ones.
I’m not sure what’s worse – halitosis or “eau de smoking”. Ok, maybe it’s a tie.
Smoking killed my mother. She died of lung cancer. Another disease that is on the rise is called COPD. It stands for chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. The symptoms are usually a mix of bronchitis and asthma. It slowly tightens your airways and ruins your respiratory system. Eventually it can and probably will kill you. If you find out that you have COPD the best thing for you, is to quit immeadiately. The only thing that you can do to lengthen your life (depending on severity) is take physio therapy, use bronchodilators,take antibiotics (when infection rises) and possibly wear an oxygen mask.
Most people don’t know they have it until it’s to late. The way to find out if you have this disease is to book an appt with your doctor and request for a spyrometer test.
Sorry dzjne, i didn’t read the posts before i posted mine. I’m a student learning about the respiratory and cardiovascular system right now=)
I’ve read some of the posts now, and honestly people, you say that children are attention seekers and you say that people will die anyway etc etc. But it really sounds like you’re trying to justify your addiction.
Nobody asked anyone to please anyone.
These are just simple facts, smoking kills, but it’s not like lying on your death bed at the age of 80+ knowing that you’ve lived a fullfilled life. Death by smoking is pretty disgusting, coughing up phlem that actually smells rancid, losing functionality anywhere in your body at a rapid pace. Losing your hair, having to take all kinds of medications and treatments. The worst of it all is knowing that your loved ones are around to watch all of this happening.
This doesn’t happen to everyone but why risk that?
Some of you are right by saying that alcohol etc can damage you as well, but the question is, why do people abuse such things to the point that it becomes a problem?
But an even bigger question is, why do people try it in the first place? It doesn’t actually make you look cool, and it doesn’t actually take away the stress, people just believe it does and by believing it, it seems to work for them like some kind of placebo effect.
The reality is, that it stinks, it’s expensive, and it can kill.
Look, folks. Harassing anyone for any reason is not good manners and is liable to get your tail stepped on.
My father started smoking when he was 12. He smoked in the house and outside. He smoked while my mom was pregnant. He smoked on long car trips. He smoked when we were sick; he smoked when we were healthy. I have a scar on my arm where an ash hit me during a car trip; when I was a teenager, he burned a hole in my favorite T-shirt the same way.
I ate apple Jolly Ranchers while he smoked because the strong taste helped me deal with the smoke and because he hated the smell of the candy. If we tried guilt or any other tactics to get him to stop smoking, we got in trouble. I remember a time when he left the room and left his cigarette burning in it. I put out the cigarette, and he yelled at me for doing it wrong and ruining the cigarette. No matter how much I washed my hands, my fingers smelled terrible for days.
A couple years after I moved out, he stopped smoking indoors.
I think the suggestion that children are infringing on their parents’ rights as smokers–or the suggestion that smokers just can’t quit–is ludicrous. Smoking is detrimental to the health of people around the smoker, not just to that of the smoker. Perhaps it doesn’t endanger children the same way as alcohol–a car crash works much more quickly than lung cancer. But which would you rather die of–a car crash or leukemia?
Yes, addiction is difficult to conquer, and a person may not be able to overcome it on his own. But I always felt that my father didn’t quit smoking or drinking because he just didn’t care about us enough–and I still feel that way.
Strangers’ secondhand smoke is even less tolerable. I’m sensitive enough to it that I can smell it coming from the car in front of me when I’m driving with the windows shut. I’ve heard smokers argue that smoke can’t bother someone ten feet away, but that’s not true–it’s just that the smokers are desensitized to the smell. My town finally had a law in place to keep anyone from smoking in restaurants, but the law was challenged and found to be unconstitutional (according to the state constitution). The law was repealed just in time for my pregnancy, so I avoided restaurants to protect my unborn child. When I was in the hospital after my son was born, I went downstairs for some fresh air–and there were people smoking right outside the door that was closest to the maternity ward!
I don’t hear anyone arguing that heroin addicts should be allowed to continue what they’re doing because they just can’t kick the habit. Does the legality of smoking really make it so much more acceptable?
I have smoked on and off for about 30 years. I don’t appreciate the harrassment, I know it’s bad for me I will quit some day. Just not today..I also don’t like the kiddies harassment,to their own parents ok but not ok to any one else. I too have experienced the harassment from from the kiddie dept anf find it quite obnoxious. I will quit when it is my time. Until then I ask parents to refrain their obnoxious offspring at bay.
I have tried to quit so many times I lost count. All it takes is a visit to one of my many friends that smoke and… I want one. Before you know it I’m back to buying a pack.
If the FDA was really doing their job along with our Government, tobacco should be available by perscription only. If you want the truth, our Government should be facing charges in the highest court of law for taking bribes to turn their heads and keep the american people legally and controlably sick by continueing to allow the toxins that they put in cigarettes. If the FDA and our government really cared about it’s people over Corporate interests and Big Business Money they would force all tobacco companies to slowly and methodocally remove the addictive toxins from cigarettes and help us to break the addiction to this deadly habit. But then you have the other investors in this whole scam/conspiracy the Pharmaceutical and Insurance Companies. The real scam is that our tax money is paying for this BS Government and the huge tax breaks it gives these Corporate Giants to slowly kill us, and we just keep sitting down and watch the “BOOB TUBE” and let them. It’s getting near time for another American Revolution.
Just think of the underground black market industry that outlawing nicotine would cause. We can’t control the illegal drugs in this country now. If it’s LEGAL, let adults smoke and leave them alone, there are much worse addictions.
I know it’s bad, I quit smoking in my house. My son was sick every month with a URI (upper respitory infection), when I quit smoking in the house, he wasn’t sick like that anymore.
I consider myself a “Professional Quitter”
I read here that “smoking is unambiguously bad”. I also read that “…to visit her mother, who had a brain tumor that had resulted from the spread of smoking-related lung cancer.” I read a lot of postings that say “bash them, bash, them”. Hold on: How do we know that that lung cancer was “smoking-related”? How do we know that “passive smoking kills”? For the latter all the evidence is a certified pile of trash science. For the former, there is no one health authority in the world that can scientifically demonstrate the unique causality of just one “smoking-related” death. I tell you right now that I have nothing to do with Big Tobacco, so we settle that one.
Are we so sure that we do not desperately need a “scientific” excuse for our need to hate, or some “inferior” (smokers)to “help” so we feel “superior”? Excuses generously supplied by corrupt institutions? Think about it: no one death can be demonstrated scientifically – never mind what the big wigs say: ask them to bring you proof, and they will cite numbers! When cornered, they say that the fact that they cannot prove one death does not mean that they cannot claim millions. …Then we are talking about hatred, are we not? As it is pointed out, fat people are next for harassment. When will we stop?
Brilliant!
I can finally consider myself a non-smoker after 5 years of trying. I’ve been smoke free for a year to this day. The one thing as a smoker I hated was the constant ridicule and harassment from non-smoker’s. Their snobby attitudes made me want to smoke more just to spite them. 5 years ago I was forced to quit. I developed throat cancer. I was so hooked on cigarettes, not even the shame & embarrassment of my doctors or the thought of going through radiation treatments and chemotherapy again could stop me from smoking. I was a 2 pack a day smoker before treatment, after,all I could do was cut it down to about 6-8 a day. My wife was no help. Just another snob that kept nagging at me. Did’nt get no support from her. But I found out that my family (brothers/sisters) detered me from smoking around them. (Family Reunion) . But like an idiot I lit one up when I got back home under the belief I can just have one. I had “lied to them about quitting”. So finally, on an occasion to be around my family at a wedding, I decided that this was the time to give them up permanently ; seeing as I would be around them for three days. My last cigarette was the day of my niece’s wedding. It took me 5 years to do it and my resolve to stay a non-smoker cannot be shaken. The one thing I will not do is treat a smoker like I was treated. It’s just really too bad that it was them Lawyers that made all that money off the lives of so many smokers. This story has a very unfortunate ending. I got caught smoking my last cigarette the night before the wedding by my brother, who in turn ratted me out to the rest of the family and they have not talked with me since!
I grew up with parents that smoked and yes, I “harassed” them for it too. Although from my perspective, it wasn’t harassment, it was protecting my personal health. Both my brother and I have had asthma since we born, which may or may not have been caused by my mother smoking while pregant and while we were young, but it certainly exacerbated the condition. I understand, completely, that nicotine is highly addictive and so I am empathetic of smokers, however, I will not walk on eggshells around them- not when I am made physically ill from it. I do not think that I am wrong for letting someone know that they are hurting me. This is why I do not “harass” people for being overweight as I don’t see a connecting argument there. Although it is sad and obviously, unhealthy for them, the point is that it is unhealthy for *them*; their obesity does not affect my health. My arteries are not being clogged by the BicMac they choose to eat. My lungs, however, are being suffocated by the cigarette smoke. I will always be as respectful and as non-harassing as possible in my approach, but you can expect me to ask you to move downwind of me if stand near me and light up or to maintain a smoke-free home. Perhaps those of you that smoke can keep in mind that not everyone who coughs is faking it and being obnoxious; that those of us who choose to not smoke are not rude for choosing to not, that it is not harassment (at least not anymore than the disregard that many smokers have for non-smokers) because we are disapproving of those around us that do. Good luck to those of you who are and have been trying to quit; I wish for you (and myself) fresh, clean lungs!
hey my name is nivola,, I’ve been smoking now 4 many yrs, since I was about (15) yrs of age. Now am 21 yrs of age. And I was truly and really not a smoker I just followed my peers, PEER PRESSURE, STRESSED OUT, LOW- SELF ESTEEM ETC Is what really made me STARTED smoking soo much and too deep. I thank god 2day for my mother that truly inspire ME about the facts of smoking, AND TODAY AM SMOKE FREE!!! with the help of my 2 loving inspirations in life! My mother and brother. LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!
So many of you think it ok to harass, this is so wrong. Keep your opinion to yourself. I have been forced to move twice now because of these NON smokers. Their taunting, yelling, and slanders at my house, when I’m leaving my home calling me a drug addict. There are so many NON smoking apt and houses but, NOOO they move into places with smokers then demand and yell, calling cops. You think this is ok… It’s not. The foul words from your non smokers kids is disrespectful. I pay rent vote and thought I lived in a free country. Teach your kids to respect adults. This attitude of thinking they can speak out against adults is so wrong in so many ways. What I find most…People that give up the habit and get upset because they did due to the pressure and harassment. Then they think all others should do the same. They then become fat and unhappy and feel they can take their agressions out on other smokers. If you are truely happy then leave others alone and stop trying to force people to think your way. The pollution today is killing us all, I don’t see anyone closeing the plants making all the pollution. No lets harass people and fool ourselves in to thinking you and your kids are the rightous ones gimme a break..I’m going to go have a cig!!
Oh wow, where to start… I am a clinic nurse and it truly grieves me to see young people smoking. If only they would never smoke that first cigarette. That is the tactic I used with my own 3 children~ I offered them each $100 to never smoke that first cigarette, and they are grown up now and non-smokers.
(Best $300 I ever spent!) My father smoked around us kids when we were growning up. My college roommage smoked, and each boyfriend I had smoked. I married a smoker 34 years ago back when we were 19 and immortal. Now it is the biggest wedge in our marriage. It affects my home life, my social life, my sex life, my finances, all in a negative way. The worse place I walk into each day is my own home which smells of cigarettes. I hate seeing the person I love the most in the world doing this awful thing to himself. I fear for our future. We live on a farm, and we cannot remain there if he is unhealtlhy. More than anything I would love to have a non-smoking husband; but apparently there is nothing I can say or do to sway him. I refuse to nag because I listened to my mother nag my father for years and it never made one bit of difference. These are my rambling thoughts on this subject. I appreciate the opportunity to vent. No, it’s not OK to harass a smoker you love, but it is more than OK to let a smoker know you care about him/her and that you only desire life’s best for that person and those closest to him/her. I wish it weren’t such a hurdle. It’s a painful subject. I would never marry a smoker if I had it to do over again.
Apologies for not reading all posts before writing; I read many of them and didn’t see anything about the subject of smoking and tooth loss.
I am a dental hygienist, and have worked with the same patient group for 20 years. It is so clear to me that people in our practice who are gradually losing their teeth, one by one, are the smokers. I have known a few people with mouth, throat, or lung cancer, most smokers, but far more who are ultimately toothless.
Incidentally, they also have more wrinkles and look older than others their age; one would think that would also be a motivation, especially for women!