When I was 11 years old, I drew skulls and warnings on my mother’s cigarettes and then slipped the cigarettes back in the pack. If I was hoping to embarrass her, it worked: She offered them to guests at an afternoon party, and I heard the details. It wasn’t as hilarious as I had imagined, apparently. That was 1971.
Recently I asked a few friends and acquaintances if they had similar stories and received anecdotes dating all the way back to the start of the modern assault on tobacco. One friend’s father, who was a D.C. lawyer representing a tobacco company in the mid-’60s, fired the client after being pestered by a uniquely positioned pressure group: his offspring. Now 81, he emailed to say he recalls that “firing Lorillard as a client was written up…in an article in The Wall Street Journal, ‘Daddy, Why Do You Represent a Cigarette Company?’”
In the late ’60s, remembers writer Kate Meyers, who lived in Pittsburgh at the time, “My mom had a drawer in her bathroom where she kept her Virginia Slims 100s, and I would leave her notes saying, ‘Mommy, I don’t want you to die.’ She hasn’t touched a cig in about 40 years.”
In 1986, David Allan, now the husband of Health.com senior editor Kate Rope, culminated a “years-long campaign of lectures” by requesting information from the surgeon general’s office about the effects of secondhand smoke on children. He received a C. Everett Koop-signed letter and some “book-size publications,” which he “cruelly” gave to his smoking parents for Christmas, asking only that they quit as a gift back to him (blackmail of Shakespearean cunning). Mom soon did, Dad eventually followed suit.
A few years ago, relates New Jersey writer Gail Belsky, her daughter and friends plastered the friends’ father, a smoker, with Post-it notes while he worked at his computer—the notes scrawled with antismoking messages.
These kids—what’s their real agenda?
Now, I don’t believe that kids’ motives are entirely pure here. There’s pleasure in turning the moral tables on parents, and public-health campaigns offer excellent air cover. Also, smoking is a safer target for kids than most: unambiguously “bad” without rendering its practitioners dangerous, the way alcohol can. As to reports of campaign success, I suspect those successes often happen in families in which the parents have a predisposition to quit.
Still, never underestimate the wisdom of kids. Over the recent July 4 weekend, I asked a particularly wise 10-year-old girl what she thought about tobacco harassment. She mulled and then answered to the effect that it’s fair for kids to let their parents know how they feel, even by trickery, but a kid needs to know that smoking is addictive and a parent may not be able to quit. I suggested she ought to be surgeon general someday.
Meanwhile, last year the UK government gave a £15,000 grant to a community group that planned to arm kids with data so they could go home and put the screws to smoking parents. A pro-smoking spokesman called the idea “disgraceful moral blackmail.”
Perhaps. But I can’t help remembering an afternoon a few years ago, when I dropped my teenage daughter’s best friend off at a New York hospital to visit her mother, who had a brain tumor that had resulted from the spread of smoking-related lung cancer. This woman, who had not been able to give up smoking even after her diagnosis, died while we were in the room, leaving the girl in the care of a father who, for reasons not worth detailing here, was not up to the task. I was grateful, at that moment, that my own mother had given up the habit decades before—whether or not my silly campaign had played a part.
Tools to help smokers quit
So, is it OK to harass the smokers we love? For kids, I think, absolutely. Adults—you tell me. And let’s discuss whether it actually works.
This week Health.com launches a new section of our site devoted to kicking the tobacco habit, with lots of quit-smoking tools, answers, drug information and even some reason to laugh: Check out the 1951 Goofy cartoon link in “97 Reasons to Quit Smoking”. If you have any stories or opinions about tobacco harassment, please share them below.
(PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES)
Recent posts by Scott Mowbray:
Comments (173)
I love this article. I’ve been wanting my boyfriend to quit smoking for a while. We’re moving in together in a couple weeks. This article gave me some ideas to “drop a hint” to him without making it seem like an ultimatum.
We have a close friend who is a lifetime smoker (now age 50) and we have deliberately NOT harrassed him about his unhealthy habit. We do, however, heap praise and encouragement on him whenever he quits: for a day, a week, several months. We have cheered him on as he tried to quit cold-turkey, or with hypnosis sessions, acupuncture, nicotine patches, nicotine gum, aversion therapy or self-help books. He watched his own father die from heart disease and lung failure, and yet he has, so far, been unable to “beat the beast” of cigarette addiction. Are we being sympathetic to a fault? Should we paper his computer with Post-It notes, stage an intervention, email him photos of diseased lungs, shame him into quitting? Our motives are pure, but those actions would surely damage our friendship. He is struggling with his addiction. He doesn’t need us to point out the obvious.
Wonderful post! When an adult takes a cigarette out of my hand and stomps it, I get mad and light another. But if you tell me to put it out so you can give me a massage, I’ll tamp it out and purr like a kitten…as I told the wonderful commenters in my “Dare Me to Quit” post here: http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/1,,20210700,00.html
A child putting skulls in my pack (as you did for your mama) would do a number on me too!!!
I say harass away…we’ll likely be the ones caring for smoking parents/spouses when they get emphysema, etc. It costs us all–emotionally, physically, and financially in the long run.
But I’m the son of a doc who practiced pulmonary medicine…I grew up seeing pictures of black, tar-filled lungs. (Pops could smell cigarette smoke on a friend from the other room.) So lord knows I’m biased.
I feel it is my duty to let my buddies know how I feel about them smoking. I don’t harass them about it, but I do let them know it bothers me to be around their smoke, definately while we are all out eating dinner. I think if you are close with a person that smokes, you should be able to share your feelings on the important subject of their health. I don’t think you should try to make them feel guilty, just let them know you are there for them to help, and that you don’t agree with their decision to destroy their body.
It’s definitely OK to harass! When I was 10, my little sister and I calculated how much money my parents wasted per year on Salem Light 100s and Newport Lights. Our logic: You could buy us, like, a bazillion Cabbage Patch Dolls with that dough! They were not swayed. My mom finally quit five years ago, but my dad continues to smoke—even after 6 bypasses. Obviously. the most important thing to me is his living breathing self but, dad, know this: If you had quit smoking at 40 and put the savings into a 401(k) you would have about $250,000 by your 70th BDay. Puff on that.
I say harass the heck out of them. There’s a good chance smokers (whether they’re you’re spouse or parents) will cost us emotionally, physically, and financially.
But I’m the son of a retired pulmonary medicine doc. I’ve been seeing photos of black lungs filled with tar since I was a kid. I’m biased.
The problem with allowing kids to harass the smokers they love is that it gives kids carte blanche to harass *everyone* who smokes–including strangers and parents’ acquaintances. And the kids are often extremely obnoxious about it. I have no patience for those types of kids, and I have even less patience with parents who condone that behavior. I was at a wedding reception where the smoking section was outside the house. The 4-year-old nephew of the bride continually walked around the smokers, making that annoying fake cough, waving his arms to clear the smoke, and telling the adults how bad they were for smoking. I pointed to a spot on the far end of the driveway and said, “You can go stand over there.” He ignored that and continued the harassment. Obviously some lessons were skipped in that kid’s household.
Rahter than pressure the smoker to quit, why don’t you pressure your elected officials to pass legislation that makes cigarette companies pay for stop smoking aids - “the patch”, Nicorette, chantix, etc.?
Sure, harass away! Next we’ll turn the kiddies loose on the oldies, fatties, drunks, and anyone else who might ultimately become burdensome to society.
Hello, Brave New World.
Teaching and justifying bullying is always okay!!!!!??????
Yes - it’s A-OK to harass. If your loved one(s) were addicted to meth or heroin, would you be so understanding or worried about damaging the relationship? Why is a nicotine addiction treated differently? Because it’s legal? Nonsense! Harass them, shame them, demand they end their addiction. I broke my addiction to cigarettes last year after hearing a constant stream of “Stop or…!” from my husband. We are both much happier now!
I’m a teacher for a prevention based non-profit agency where I often teach kids of all ages about tobacco & other drug risks. Kids tell me all the time, that they themsleves know smoking is bad for their parents, who more often than not smoke in the presence of thier children e.g.: in the home or car windows closed. These kids are not only worried about their parents, but themselves as well. It’s really quite sad because they know the dangers of smoking for their parents and the dangers of second-hand smoke for themsleves. Kids tell me often about encounters they’ve had with adults in thier lives who get mad or defensive when they broach the subject. They eventually are told to “butt-out” so to speak and feel really helpless about their parents and thier own health. It’s a really tough situation and I am sometimes at a loss for how to suggest they handle it. I always tell them that it is OK to tell thier parents how they feel and that they are worried about their own health as well. It seems heartfelt concern (not harrassment) from a child just isn’t enough.
IS IT OK FOR MY KIDS TO START TELLING FAT PEOPLE THEY NEED TO STOP EATING SO MUCH? FAT PEOPLE COST US WAY MORE THAN SMOKING. I SMOKE AND ABSOLUTLY WANT TO AND WILL QUIT. MY KIDS ARE STARTING TO PUSH ON ME AND THIS IS WHAT IS ULTIMATLY GETTING ME TO OUIT AS I WANT TO SEE MY GRANDKIDS SOME DAY AND DONT WNAT MY KIDS TO SMOKE. BUT WHEN YOU GET THOSE KIDS AND ADULTS WHO DO THE PUSHING OR THE FAKE COUGH THING I WANT TO PUT MY FOOT UP… WELL YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYING ESPECIALY WHEN THEY ARE FAT PARENTS WITH THEIR FAT KIDS THEY FEED FAST FOOD TO EVERYDAY.
Absolutely not OK for strangers to give you guilt. I was at a party and some ramdom person put up a huge stink about me smoking (outside). She told me second hand smoke kills and I told her I was counting on it.
Being a non-smoker and married to a smoker is difficult. I have learned (the hard way) that telling him the health risks he is taking is not a good approach to the subject. I have even tried mind games such as putting a cigarette in my mouth and asking for a lighter. This causes strong anger and hypocritical comments from him, saying that I will never smoke. My question to him after that is: “Really, why do you?” Judging by his reactions I truly believe that he wants to quit but he’s addicted and can’t kick the habit. I have at least got him to cut back. (Five packs a week to 2 1/2 — it’s a start.) The thing that gets me is that he started smoking at 15 because it was something to do and gave him that “Cool” factor. Now, with changing laws and house rules, he is bound to the outdoors, rain or shine just to feed his habit. I am hoping our future children will kick his habit, before his habit kicks him.
No! I smoked from when I was 13 1/2 until last July 2nd, 2007 and I was 67 then and I did not give them up for health reasons but because the great Governor of the state of CT said they were going up another .50 per pack. I just celebrated 1 year this past July 2nd without a cigarette, however my husband still smokes and 1 of my son’s does also. I would never tell them to quit. They will do so when they are ready and no amount of nagging will help them to stop sooner. One other thing, why don’t the people who make the decisions to raise the taxes on cigarettes raise them on alcohol instead? Why?? Because just about everyone drinks even if it is at a wedding or special occasion. That is more of a danger because everyone drives home from their dinner engagement or that wedding after they’ve been drinking taking other people’s lives in their hands. And forget about health reasons. Noone gets out of this world alive. We are all going to die from one thing or another.
My mom has smoked ever since I remember…When my older brother started smoking at 15, she could not say NO. Then I started at age 16…I have recently quit for good. If she had not smoked at all, we would have never touched a cigarrette. I have two kids and plan to keep them far away from the vice. Life is BETTER without a cigarrette. I will keep harrassing my Mom until she stops…
My dad always said’ “The older we get, the dumber we get.” Seems the kids know better than the parents how bad smoking is for you. Kids have every right to ask their parents to stop. And as for those smokers who stink up the entrances of restaurants by puffing away right outside the door, please go elsewhere. Smoke in the back by the dumpsters. Some of us, like me, are highly sensitive to smoke smell and I can’t even swallow food when somoene is smoking near me. I pity the little kids whose parents smoke in their cars and the kids are breathing it in. Are those the people Jessica is counting on second-hand smoke to kill?
My former boss quit because (and he told me this) because I made him feel like such a low-life for smoking. So maybe my harassing saved his life. I also harassed my father to quit after he was up to 3 packs of Camels (unfiltered) a day and couldn’t speak a sentence without hacking. He’s been smoke free for 35 years now, partially due to the notes I’d leave him and my begging him. So in some cases, it WORKS!!
My personal experience: I smoked, as did my spouse. He had two girls, ages 2 & 5 who griped constantly, waved their hands in the air, etc. We quit many (over 30!) years ago. Both girls, now in their early 40’s, smoke. Go figure?????? And, nobody else in their entire family smokes! By the way, they “wish they could quit, but just can’t”. Yeah, right.
I have a friend who was a smoker. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas last year. I told him the best present he could give me would be if he stopped smoking. And he did!
When I was about 8 years I picked up my father’s cigarettes and said something like “Camel is an odd name for cigarettes.” He quit cold turkey shortly after that. I think he decided that he did not want his kids smoking. Now that I know how difficult it is for most people to quit I am even more impressed.
I absolutely believe that as humans we have an obligation to the people around us. This includes telling them when they are harming themselves and others such as smoking and other destructive behaviors. I don’t know what works but I know that supportive talking is a least a start.
Well, a former boss of mine quit because (in his words) I made him feel like such a low-life for smoking. I might have saved his life. And I would leave notes for my dad, beg him to quit, and after he got up to 3 packs of Camels (unfiltered) a day and could hardly speak, he quit. He’s been smoke free for over 35 years now, partially because of me. So yes, sometimes it works!!
I am a smoker who is trying to quit. As a smoker though, I would react to the harassment by spiting whoever was harassing with a fresh new cigarette to blow in their face to get them away from me. I have however responded to the support of my friends and a few strangers who, rather than harass me to quit, expressed only once in a while that my habit has them worried about my health now and in the future. I’ve found that harassment is never a good idea because the smoker will become defensive and thus not be as receptive as they would be if just confronted with the worry people feel for them. Cigarettes are an addiction that have been proven to be a drag on the economy, in fact being the second most expensive health issue in the country. The most wallet shattering health issue is obesity. If people feel it’s ‘right’ to harass smokers to quit, then I’ll make it my duty to harass anyone even slightly overweight to go to a gym or learn to eat right. I know I said harassment isn’t the way to go, but when in Rome. So, if a fatty wants to harass me to quit smoking, I’ll quit when they lose 20 pounds.
It’s only good if we can harass the fat-bodies we love too.
Think about that, especially since being fat is the new #1 killer in the USA.
How many of you people considering harassing your loved ones about smoking are gross slobs with swinging guts and multiple chins?
Given the average American, better than a 50% chance!
So don’t throw stones, dwellers in glass houses.
I know that smoking is a bad habit and bad for anyone’s health. But i have a bigger problem with alcohol. But if people protested against drinking the way that they do smoking… we would have less drinking and driving accidents, people dying of liver failure, and withdrawl from a controlled substance.
This question is easily answered with etiquette: no, it’s not all right to harass anybody about anything. Smokers are well aware of the risks, and quitting is their responsibility and, in my experience, can only happen when they truly want to. The flipside is that smokers must be polite to, and must ask before lighting up around those who might object.
I believe it is good for kid’s to be armed with facts to tell their parents. Unfortunately it can cause some mental images in children that can bother them. I was told in 1st grade my mom would die if she didnt stop smoking from our teacher. From that day on, I cried everyday until I was 13 and she did pass on. Of course there is a correlation between smoking and death but it is not right to tell a 6 year old that is what is going to happen. There is not the mental capacity for that. Facts can be shown but the child’s age needs to be kept in mind.
I don’t see how it is anyone’s inalienable right to ask someone to quit smoking. Let alone harass or bother them. What “right” do children have to ask their parents something like that? They have the right to be seen and not heard and to do what their parents tell them to do.
Chances are that pestering someone to quit smoking will cause them to ignore you in the future and continue to do what they want. “Educating” them about the health risks is also a pointless exercise. Smokers KNOW the risks and will likely ignore you.
Carmen - it’s a cruel, cruel world that you have to walk through a cloud of second hand smoke to get into a restaurant. I think we should banish them to a whole other country, not out back to the dumpsters! And while we’re in the process of getting rid of things we don’t like, you might as well deport different colored people or even people who don’t like the same kind of food as you - the food that you have a hard time swallowing when your nostrils are offended!
My boyfriend smokes. He didn’t when we met, but started later to handle his stress when looking for a job. He used to be one of those kids, and he would try to get his mom to quit smoking, which she’s tried unsuccessfully. So he knows how I feel, and I try not to pester him about it because I don’t want to be a nag and cause a rift in our relationship. But he also knows that he can’t smoke if we get married because then our future kids could be affected. He’s trying to quit now, so here’s hoping he’s successful! I think people should draw the line at being rude or intrusive when it comes to that and other bad habits on both sides. It’s a difficult thing to deal with, and tact is always a good thing to consider in things like that.
No one should harass anyone else. All smokers understand the dangers of smoking. They do not need education. It’s the same with drug use and obesity. Everyone already knows the risks, but they have an addiction that they can’t beat at this time. They have all tried to quit many times & hopefully will keep trying until they succeed. It’s an internal issue that has to be solved by the individual. Outsiders yapping at them doesn’t help and probably does more harm than good.
My grandmother died from lung cancer. She never smoked a day in her life. My grandfather was a heavy smoker for the near fifty years they were married. He never forgave himself and committed suicide about a decade later. So the question is not if it is ok to harrass smokers to quit. The question is if the ends justify the means. Without arguement, yes they do.
My mother is dead from enphazemia and suffered horribly with it for 7 years not to mention her family suffered as well!!! If i had my way the Phillip Morris building would be torn down to rubble and it executives put on trial for homicide. Cigarettes are poison and anyone that tells you to quit is only helping you, cause if you need a to smoke knowing it will kill you one way or the other then please jump off a building and save the taxpayers the money for your health care. Smoking costs this country Billions and destroys lives of those involved. Where is the Good in it??? All Smokers reading this If you saw the beautiful woman that was my mother deteriorate to nothing due to Malrboro’s You would never ever want to be near cigarette smoke again.
I am about an anti-smoking as it gets, and I don’t feel that it is appropriate to harass someone regarding their behavior. In essence, you are saying that you know better than they do. Would it be ok for them to tell you to get your fat self to a gym or change your diet? Technically, that could save your life as well.
It’s amazing that most of the non-smokers think it is fine to harass, but I wonder how they would feel being harassed about some of their bad habits. After all, second hand smoke isn’t the only health issue that affects others but it is the most obvious because you can see the smoke and it seems to be socially and politically acceptable to harass smokers whether they be friends, co-workers or strangers. However, I don’t see any of you holier than thou people standing outside of the bar your sitting in and harassing people who drive drunk, or go home and beat up their families. I was raised by a non-functioning drug addict and alcoholic divorced mother and don’t try to tell me how it affects others. I am 64 and just quit smoking myself, but it took me longer because of all the harassment by others to make themselves feel superior and that’s all it is - not worry about me. If I harassed my mother about her drugs or alcohol, I got my head smashed into a wall (and that is not a figurative statement). So stop feeling as if it is ok to interfere in other people’s lives.
I do agree that you should be able to share with a loved one your disdain for this habit and your concerns about their health. But, where does it stop? It is, after all, legal (whether or not it should be is another discussion). Should children be able to harass obese parents? Even though smoking rates have declined, obesity rates have soared; this is an epidemic which also costs us in terms of our health as well as financially. Perhaps we should examine the deeper reasons for our society’s predisposition to addiction.
Smoking is bad for you, we all agree. But alcohol also causes a lot of death and destruction, so if we’re going to talk about getting people to quit, why not include alcohol? Half of all highway fatalities are alcohol related. To give kids permission to harass people is going down a slippery and dangerous slope. Perhaps teach compassion and helpfulness instead. Giving permission for bullying is never OK.
I think it is a great idea to place children in the role of moral guardians of their parents.
We should also have children inform to the authorities if their parents are speeders, terrorists, social undesirables, tax cheats or jews.
In addition children of people who die of cancer should be made to understand that this was their fault for not making mommy or daddy stop. In fact, those kids should pay for the medical care since it is not fair to burden the insurance system and make children who were good enough to get mom and dad to stop pay the price.
When people tell me to quit smoking, I point out how fat they are. That usually shuts them up.
To “mrsbridgeport”: BINGO! It’s beyond astonishing to me how so many regular imbibers of alcohol (yes, all of the millions of beer-drinkers out there, too) feel so free to judge people who smoke. Talk about health implications to the general public! But alcohol consumers are somehow Teflon-coated because they make up the vast majority of the U.S. population (”strength in numbers” mentality). The recent approval for Sunday sales of alcohol in the state of Colorado was highly celebrated. Great … one more day of opportunity to expose the general public to the cascading effect of the REAL #1 health issue: alcohol consumption. (By the way, I don’t smoke.)
My Mom had surgery for a brain aneurism and was told that she would die if she didn’t quit smoking. You would think that would have some effect but it didn’t - she said she’d rather die than quit because cigarettes were ‘her friends’. How do you combat that attitude? She seems almost offended when I prohibit smoking in my house or car and when I nag her about it she tries to turn the tables because I drink beer and she doesn’t. Logic doesn’t work, the threat of death doesn’t work, what will?
…Or we could let everyone live their own lives.
I think people really need to lay off smokers. Most of them are courteous. They follow the rules, they go outside. I remember being a child in a non-smoker house in the 80’s & all my parents friends would smoke in the house. Nobody would even think about lighting up in a non-smokers house these days, and you would even ask before lighting up in a smoker’s house. The laws are being set and people are obeying. What else can people ask for? I don’t ask people to change their lifestyle as long as they are obeying laws. And all the “im sensitive to smoke” is just whiney. What would you’ve done in the 40’s? Smoking was EVERYWHERE. You just don’t like smoke, but you need to respect people following the rules.
Two quick facts:
1. 1/3 of people with lung cancer never smoked (or even secondhand)
2. 1/3 of smokers with lung cancer would have gotten it anyway
The data also shows that smokers cost less than non smokers in lifetime expenditure by the government because they die slightly younger and pay much more in taxes.
Sorry if the facts obscure the anti smoking propaganda.
People only quit if they want to. That applies to lots of habits, regardless of whether it’s smoking or not. I’m raising money for WellSpring, a foundation that helps cancer patients (regardless of whether they smoked or not). If you’d like to donate for a good cause, please go here. CancerVive.ca
“And forget about health reasons. Noone gets out of this world alive. We are all going to die from one thing or another.”
Fran, you are deluding yourself. Wouldn’t your prefer to die of old age, peacefully in your sleep, than to die painfully from lung cancer?
In addition, not encouraging your loved ones to quit smoking says something about you–you don’t really love them in the first place. If you really love your husband and son, you would ask them to quit. Do you honestly think that you don’t care if they die of lung cancer?
Not able to quit? Not quite true. It took a medical health scare for me to decide on a quit date and when it came to that date, I smoked my last. I can’t quite buy the ‘not able to quit’ line. If the motivation is there, you can do it. But–you can’t be another person’s motivation. If someone says they can’t, they are really saying they won’t. I don’t know how you get past that. I’ve seen people with emphasema still keep puffing away, tethered to oxygen tanks–now that is something you don’t see everyday. If it takes a crying kid begging parents to stop, or an obnoxious 4-year old, so what. Cigarette companies should not be blamed, just as restaurants or grocery stores should not be blamed for obesity. Freedom of choice, folks. Always. Every day. You get to pick what kind of life you want.
I think this article is pretty interesting, however it is not exactly correct in my opinion.
Let me back up a bit to clarify my justification. I am a smoker, I’m 19, I’ve been smoking for just about 3 years. Lately however I really have been trying to quit, if you saw me less than 2 months ago, I would chain smoke a pack a day easily. I didn’t start to be cool, my oldest sibling has been smoking for quite a few years now and I used to be one of the harassing little kids that would yell to him “quit smoking!” whenever I saw him do it. Then my friend introduced me to them and I started. Eventually, all my friends became routine smokers, just about every single of my friends now smoke on a daily basis, and those who don’t smoke hookah or cigars which are just as bad for you.
I enjoyed the act of smoking, I really did, that’s truthfully the only reason I would do it; I also enjoyed being one of the few smokers in my family so that we could talk during family get- togethers and have space.
That is where a huge point that non-smokers really do not, and WILL not ever understand: As you become more and more of a routine, daily smoker, you develop other habits that strengthen your smoking addiction ( when you first wake up, with a cup of coffee, after sex, after a meal, before you go to bed, and the real killer, alcohol ). I’ve been harassed by my parents about my smoking habit, and for good reason! I would do the same thing if in some distant future if I do have kids, I would teach them not to smoke. However no matter how many lectures you can give to the ones you care about who smoke, people need to realize something: You cannot control other peoples’ habits, you can control yourself, but that is it; the greatest power you have over others is influence. That is what I am hoping to do for my other friends, by trying for who knows what attempt to kick the habit, I really feel that this is the final attempt to quit. Why? Because I truly want to be done, I’m sick of the act of doing it, and in the past 3 days now, I’ve only had 3 smokes; I cannot remember the last I had that few amount! Lastly, another reason I feel that I will be quitting for good this time is my girlfriend just quit smoking also and hasn’t touched a cig in over a month; while she has told me she isn’t bothered if I decide to still have one around her, it is personal guilt for me to have knowing full-well that she is putting the effort to quit as well.
I dunno, hope this helps anyone else out there trying to break the habit as well!
I’m sorry but to all of those who saying things like “they should quit if only they want to” or “they have every right to smoke”, here’s a news flash: second-hand smoke kills.
I have asthma. This means that if I am exposed to a irritant in the air, like second-hand smoke, my lungs will react and I will suffer an asthma attack. If my attack is not treated promptly, I can DIE. Unfortunately, it seems so many smokers are (willfully) ignorant of this fact.
My right (as well as all children’s right) to breathe clean and smoke-free air is more important that your right to smoke those nasty cancer sticks and affect all of those around you. Therefore, I am all for kids harassing their parents to quit. Not only is it good for the parents’ own good, it also helps improve the quality of life for the kids.
Is it OK for us to dig up what we consider your bad habits & harass you over them? I swear the world has developed a really creepy sense of orwellian entitlement to enforce their world vision on everyone else.
I’d ask any considering such a proposition to kindly @#$&* off.
I quit many years ago (both my parents died from smoking related diseases…emphysema and lung cancer in their 60s) but not because I was harrassed, but because I WANTED to quit. No one wants to be bullied into anything. My husband has smoked for almost 40 years and can go for hours without a cigarette which I can’t understand at all. I was never able to go more than an hour or two without one. He just gets mad if I say anything. HE (AS ALL SMOKERS) ALREADY KNOWS IT’S UNHEALTHY. I think most people who harrass smokers are just being smug! IT DOESN’T work. My young daughter used to harrass me something terrible (I started smoking for about a year or so after having stopped for 10 years) and I felt guilty but not because of her harrassment but because I KNEW I WAS BEING SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. It’s kind of like going on a diet. When you are ready you’ll do it.
We have a friend who lost her husband from a smoking-related stroke 10 years ago — he was just 49 at the time. This friend and her husband were openly annoyed at friends who would try to get them to quit — we weren’t the only ones — and finally decided not to socialize with people who bugged them about it. When her husband died, she kept right on smoking and a few years later found a boyfriend who also smokes. They both took a drug to help them quit but not smoking made her so miserable that she quit the drug instead and took up cigarettes again. We rarely see them anymore because we know they will light up and it’s hard to ignore it and not say anything. You just want to slap/talk some sense into her! It pains us as we feel she will die an early death as a result. On the other hand, she’s in her early 60s and seems healthy enough — that seems to help her justify not making more of an effort to kick the habit. Unfortunately, the addiction runs so deep that being able to smoke in peace seems to be more important than spending time with non-smoking friends. Truth is, we don’t want to have to inhale their secondhand smoke either; we’d like to share good conversation and fresh air. While damaging one’s health, nicotine can also damage friendships.
I am a smoker, for a long time I have tried to quit and haven’t been able to, but let me tell you, people harassing you about it does not help, on the contrary, it just annoys you and makes you want a cigarette even more.
I think wether it is a child or an adult it is justified to ask, to worry and to encourage somebody to quit smoking, but not to harass and judge their actions. The best advice I could give anybody is don’t smoke, because quitting is really hard, and if you want somebody you love to quit smoking then be a source of support and help, not one of those annoying people that just bitch about you going outside for a cigarette or about the many times you’ve said you’re going to quit.
I remember when my mother couldn’t quit. She was ALWAYS trying and she didn’t smoke much any more but she had emphysema and finally was forced to quit when she went on full time oxygen. My mother-in-law made a comment to me that she “just couldn’t understand why anyone who had emphysema would continue to smoke” and I shot right back at her “for the same reason people with health issues (she was a very overweight diabetic) don’t lose weight, exercise or eight healthy”. That shut her up!
SickofTobaccoGestapo::: EXCUSE ME?? I hope someone deletes that comment about homosexuals because it is disgusting.
As far as harrassing goes, it’s one thing to harrass, it’s another to make your feelings known. I’ve seen 2 people I am close to die in horrible ways due to smoking, and as hard as it may be to quit smoking, trust me, it’s a LOT worse to die the way they did, or live the last few years the way they did. For this reason, I don’t pretend it’s ok with me that people I know are killing themselves, but I also know from experience in childhood, harrassment can make some people (stubborn ones, like me) more intent on keeping up those bad habits.
(And as far as the government is concerned, do they really want people to stop smoking? The taxes on cigarettes make them a real cash cow to those states that desperately need money.)
It’s never okay to harass by pushing your views on others. Amazingly, we accept that truth when it comes to other individual choices…but the anti-smoking crusaders want to make this choice for everyone because THEY KNOW WHAT’S BEST for them!!! People die from lung cancer that have never smoked…people die from CANCER period. Smoking is a personal choice like drinking alcohol, having an abortion, etc. Abortion and drunk driving kills too, but don’t touch pro-choice advocates when it comes to this hot-button topic and heaven forbid if we once again tried to outlaw alcohol! It’s time to stop the harassment. You anti-smokers breath more air-pollution from the exhaust fumes on the highways every day, then you’ll ever breath from second-hand smoke.
If you want to live in a socialist society where individual freedoms are repressed, move to Cuba! Oops, they make Cuban cigars! Or…you could move to Amsterdam, where the Dutch have made smoking illegal. Oops…Smoking pot is legal there! Dutch Anti-smokers don’t seem to mind the second hand smoke of weed though!
Of course, if all the Dutch get high, they’ll probably all mellow out and quit harassing everyone else!…so eventually personal choice will win the day…maybe we need to legalize pot here…ya think?
everytime an anti-smoking ad comes on tv, or someone nags about smoking, i immediately light up.
you know what the sad thing is, if all us smokers DID quit, where on earth would we get school funding from?? hmmm???
aren’t we in a bind right now because due to the “decline” in gas consumption, now states are wondering where to get transportation funding from.
smoking is not illegal, it is NOT worse than alcohol. how about banning THAT?!?! lmao.
best of luck people, i’ll be smoking one here for ya. ;)
I watched my father smoke for 28 years. He hacked every morning, spitting up black phlegm in the bathroom sink. When I looked at his cigarettes as a child, he took them away from me, told me they were “bad”. Of course I asked why he had them, he said he wished he could quit & tried but couldn’t.
My next door neighbor told me as a teen that I needed braces, he asked why my father didn’t buy them for me. I told him my father said he couldn’t afford it. He responded years later, after my father had died, saying my father spent thousands & thousands of dollars on smoking & drinking all those years I needed braces, and if he’d put them on me, I’d have straight teeth now. What could I say? He was right.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my father, despite all his protestations, never really loved me, or himself. He actions speak louder than his words.
i like Lucy’s idea, i am a smoker and i have tried to quit several times, however cold turkey doesn’t work at all, and the stop smoking aids are far too expensive for me on a students budget. i can deal with $5 a day but forking over $100+ for a box of gum or a patch just seems ridiculous to me. if legislation was passed to help people quit by offering government sponsored quitting aids i think people would be much more inclined to take up the challenge and kick the habit.
If an adult friend tried these tactics on me, I would let them know that it is my decision whether or not to continue smoking. If they persisted with the hints and tricks, they would cease to be my friend.
I just quit… 3 weeks ago… and i’m miserable. I did quit due to health reasons–but no nagging stopped me–it took me one year to stop after my diagnosis.
I wrote my first Letter to the Editor about smoking in public places 33 years ago, when I was a teenager. So I have a long, documented history of being anti-smoking. Still, I think making comments to people beyond your immediate family about smoking, when it’s not exposing you to second-hand smoke, is a very, very bad idea.
Bug your parents, siblings, and kids all you want — that’s what families are for :) — and call out the jerk who’s sneaking a smoke in an inappropriate place and making you breath the death fumes. But leave your friends, neighbors, co-workers, and clients alone. There’s not a darned thing you can tell them that they don’t already know, and we should fiercely protect personal liberty, even when our choices cause us harm.
And no, once-removed effects like increased health care costs are not sufficient to trample on freedom and personal choice.
I admit I am stubborn, and when people address my smoking (and I’m down to 1 pack a week and trying to quit) I become even more stubborn.
Other than my adult kids, who don’t want me to smoke, I strongly object to others interfering in my life in ANY way.
I would be as stubborn if others objected to my diet in regard to cholesterol, weight, meat eating, or any other personal choice. It is absolutely NOT ok for anyone else, especially poorly parented children who have no manners, to interjet their opinions in my life when I do not intrude in their lives.
Perhaps if I explained teaching good manners to children, to their parents, they may object to my opinions as well.
It is time for you ‘youngsters with so many opinions on other peoples’ habits to realize just where and what this propaganda does to one’s family, and, do you know where it began??? and why???
it begins in your schools!!! my children came home in the early 70’s telling us that the ‘teachers wanted iside information into your home life…at that time is was ‘of course for child abuse…ha! ha!
they wanted children to ’squeal on their parents concerning anything…also with questions as to whether or not your parent smoked pot!!!!
this was a treacherous way to intrude into the publics homes. the Parents at that time stopped it fast!!! today you kids line up against your family…see what treachery can do??? cigarette smoking has been done since time began.. and USED as a way to DIVIDE the people…way back in real early administrations this happened!!! and when jessie helms, southern racist pig began his attack on cigarette companies..to DIVIDE the PEOPLE!!!! you kids of today know not your history and you allow others to persuade you against your parents! that is disgusting, but now you know how politics work!!! jessie must have sold his stocks at the time… to preserve white supremacy!!!!
grow up and research on your own, before you are so hep to join a group!!!!
Just a note to those who feel t is OK to pass vocal moral judgment on others: F*** you. That’s right, f*** you. And if your kid walked up to me and harrassed me I’d tell them the same and then kick your self righteous a** as soon as you came back to complain about my language. You know what? I don’t believe in your religion, perhaps I should sh** on it in front of you? Perhaps I should take a fat sh** on the next gas guzzling Hummer I see? But that’s not fair! F*** you.
Definitely keep after loved ones! My beautiful granddaughter, Madalyn, came to me one day and said she loved me and didn’t want me to smoke. I looked at her big, brown eyes and decided I wanted to be around to watch her grow up. Not only did I quit smoking, but I dropped 35 lbs. Everyday of my life I thank Madalyn! Grandchildren are wonderful!!!
PS: Notice the medical profession does not ‘link cancer to the polluted air we breathe from nuke testing….read about oklahoma and what it did to that state….lots died!!!!! get your facts straight!
Don’t smoke, “puff, puff”.
I’ve been a smoker for 20 years, sometimes I think i’d like to quit, because I know it’s bad for my health, but mostly because it’s just too darned expensive.
But while you guys are saving the world. I have some suggestions for you, the next time your at Mcdonalds and observe someone eating a big mac and fries, please let them know they are exibiting unheathy behavior. I would suggest the same thing the next time you see someone eating a 20 oz porterhouse at your favorite steakhouse. I wonder how they will react.
I am also in favor of putting a large consumption tax on Crisco and other vegtable oil products. Because if you are overweight (and the gov’t says you are) then I dont think you pay enough to support the healthcare system. Lets go ahead and add this tax to potato chips of any kind.
And, if anyone has the time, please let me know why it is not ok to smoke in a bar in Columbia, MO but yet drinking a fifth of wisky or consuming 12 beers is OK.
Thanks for the help.
BF
Well, it may work on some people. However, I smoked about 5 years longer than I would have because my husband started trying to give me guilt about it, and it annoyed me to the point that I kept smoking out of spite. Childish, I know, but that was my reaction. I bitterly resent nagging, and react the exact opposite way from what the nagger wants me to do. It wasn’t until he left me alone about it that I finally quit - because I wanted to. You have to be emotionally ready to do it, otherwise it is too hard. Trying to quit because someone else is nagging you just leads to sneaking smokes when you are away from the other person.
And to the people who are comparing smoking cigarettes to meth or heroin - cigarettes aren’t illegal yet.Yes, tobacco is harmful, but there are a few very key differences. There are very few strung out tobacco junkies robbing their families and mugging people on the streets for cigarette money. Very few people lose their houses and jobs because of their addition to tobacco. It’s called a sense of perspective. You might want to try it out sometime.
pps: if you told the truth, your child will not let you see the grandchild if you are a smoker!!! my boys harrasssed me to death to quit, only to take up chewing playing SPORTS!!!! it seems there are double standards!! it breaks up family, which is meant to…commi style! from within we crumble!!!!
I always said I would never date a smoker. However, the heart has it’s own ideas. Cigarette smoke gives me terrible headaches, however. I never nagged my boyfriend about it. I just set up one simple rule. If he smoked a cigarette, I wouldn’t kiss him until he had thoroughly brushed his teeth, cleaned up, etc. After smoking around 10 cigarettes a day and having the cleanest teeth known to man, he decided it just wasn’t quite worth it. I was also lucky in the sense though that he had no habits around me. It was a brand new relationship and his brain didn’t associate smoking with being around me. It made it significantly easier for him to quit. He now chews maybe one piece of Nicorette gum a day, if that. He’s been amazed at how much more he can do athletically.
I think it’s ok to bring it up to people you know. People I know harass me about my beer belly, and it is probably the main reason I lost 10 lbs and slimmed down on that belly. It’s great when family and friends push people they care about to make healthier decisions. Now, those same people who pushed me say, “You look great!” Now, the difference is harassing people you don’t know, waving your hands about and fake coughing…if someone I didn’t know poked my belly and made “blub blub” noises I would probably assault them
To all anti smokers you are a bunch of complete fools
I would be happy to let you have somebody give me a hard time about smoking.
Hint no proof smoking causes cancer and check the work of Louie Pastor great French scientist.
Last you are being the fools of insurance companies
an un American. You are infringing on our civil rights.
Parents that smoke around their kids should have their children taken away from them. If you are going to be an idiot and smoke, then don’t endanger your children at the same time. It shows a total lack of concern for the welfare of their children. I believe that if people want to smoke, they should, but not in public places where it bothers other people. If they kept their disgusting, nasty habit to themselves, there would not be people complaining about it.
You know as a nonsmoker, I’m tired of people yelling and complaining that I’m fake coughing at their smoke. Like 15 people said this in the earlier posts alone. I’M REALLY COUGHING SO STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELVES FEEL BETTER. I don’t bother people, or tell them what it’s doing to them, yet if I acidently get a lungfull unexpectedly because a breeze carried it, I cough and like 5 people give me a dirty look. PEOPLE WHO DON’T SMOKE WILL COUGH, THEY CAN NOT HELP IT.
Well,
I love the smell of a cigarette, or a cigar or a pipe. Sorry but that’s the truth.
I quit last year, gained 25 pounds and have been fighting medical problems related to the weight gain. But I’m finally taking the weight off and getting my health back. If someone had told me I would feel worse than I felt when I was smoking I wouldn’t have believed them.
I’m still glad I quit. The cost was ridiculous.
Here’s a tip for the folks who want to quit because it worked for me like a charm, find (online) non-nicotine cigarettes. Order those and wear the patch while smoking those. It helps disassociate the nicotine surge with the actual smoking action which I was psychologically addicted to as well. I weaned myself off the patches and then just stop smoking the cigarettes once the thrill was gone.
Took two weeks.
I just wish I had started an exercise program before that and it wasn’t followed by the holidays.
This is an interesting article. I harassed my mom to stop smoking throughout my whole childhood, and finally it reached an end when, at about 15, I threatened her that I would start smoking if she didn’t quit - she refused to quit, and I started smoking, and now, ironically, we’re both hooked (I don’t recommend this strategy by the way - just sharing a different perspective here). The point is, some people really can’t quit, no matter how much they may want to. She has always seen it as her right to smoke, because it’s one of her only “vices,” and I’ve come to a place of understanding where, I can see how hurtful it can be for people - whatever their age - to harass other people - whatever THEIR age - about anything. It’s a personal choice, and I think it’s really bad form to encourage children to disrespect their parents enough to pull this kind of crap. What I learned from the school system’s encouragement of my behaviour as a child (which included throwing out my parents ciagarettes, drawing skulls and crossbones, etc) was to disobey my parents - not cool.
I think that it is great to put heavy stuff on people, like I don’t want you to die, etc. I’ve done that to my loved ones when it seems right. I remember I was best man at my brother’s wedding and as I was making the toast, I told my Mother and Father that I feared for their sanity and would they please not join us in the toast and quit drinking altogether. It kind of took away from the moment, but I really got to them! My parents were quite embarrassed but they were drinking sometimes 3-4 glasses per wine per week. Each!
When I was a kid, I used to put those prank exploding sticks into my dad’s cigarettes. He’s be smoking away and then POP! followed by a stream of curse words. Ahh, that was funny!
18yrs later, I don’t put exploding things in their cigarettes, but I do get on them both about their smoking. My kids (4,7) have lost their paternal grandma and my grandma to lung cancer in the past 6 months. They now make it their personal mission to tell my parents how dumb they are for wanting to die whenever they see them light up.
everybody dies!
iwant to know what i died from.
I could really care less if someone wants to smoke, I just don’t want to smell it or have the butts litter my sidewalk, beaches or mountain trails. I live in the desert where fire risks are high and everynight driving home from work some idiot throws a butt out of the car window. Gladly they have eliminated the smoking section of restaurants where I live but now that means I can no longer enjoy an evening dining out on the patio without smelling like an ashtray.
If my habit was farting you would not appreciate it if I sat near you while you were eating. Or if I was bulimic you wouldn’t want me to puke near you.
I won’t harrass anyone to quit but I will make it known that I DO NOT LIKE TO SMELL the disgusting things, that is infringing on my right to breath.
I have no need to harass my friends who smoke, or my father who was diagnosed with lung cancer four years ago and still smokes. Why?
Because I’ve quit smoking myself, and everyone around me is aware of it. I know how hard it is to quit, and actions speak louder than words. There’s nothing anyone can say about smoking that makes a stronger statement than what I’ve done. I trust the people I love to see that, and make of it what they will.
I’m free to do this because I’m an adult now - I don’t *have* to live with dad’s cigarette smoke, for example. Children don’t have it quite so good, and parents who subject their kids to secondhand smoke and a smoking lifestyle deserve reproach. To those kids, I say: speak up - and good for you!
For those of you adults who have never *had* to quit smoking - good for you too. But understand that your harassment - if it truly is such - may be more self-serving than anything else.
I think it is sad that there is so much debate over something that is knowingly bad for you. That goes for eating, drinking, gaming, etc., too. Those indulging know it is bad for you, yet they continue and get violent about it when it is called in question. Just recently, I saw a woman standing outside in a thunderstorm to smoke. If only the rest of us were that dedicated to the things that really matter the world would be a better place.
I work in a pediatric emergency room. All winter we get babies coming back time and time again, the common component…. their parents smoke! They all smoke outside and never near the child,yeah right, but I don’t think it is any coindcidence that the babies constantly catch colds and can’t breath. I feel that I am being an advocate for that precious child when I tell the parents what the already know QUIT SMOKING, YOU ARE KILLING YOUR BABY!
If my habit was farting you wouldn’t want to walk infront of me or sit next to me while eating now would you
Harassing smokers to quit may only work for the short term. quitters will start smoking again, unless they themselves truly decided to quit and are willing & committed to delay gratification in order to achieve long term health. Only people who posses such qualities can do it. i.e. i am saying that less 10% of the population do have the potential to quit smoking. most of the people are weak and can’t quit. Harrsing them will not work.
I smoked for almost 50 years and quit over a year ago. It’s easier than I thought…all one has to do is to fall from a ladder, break a few ribs and collapse a lung. That, followed by not being able to breathe and then having a nurse shame your intelligence, is a guaranteed way to quit. I highly recommend it.
I have tried quitting many times and I haven’t quit for good yet. That doesn’t mean that I don’t plan to quit, I just haven’t done it yet. The guilt trips don’t help, they just make me angry at the person creating the guilt trip.
I too feel that the government should subsidize smoking cessation programs and products. The fuzzy logic of being able to pay $5 for a pack of cigs but not $100 for a month of quitting smoking aids really does work for smokers because it is easier to come up with a smaller amount of money faster. Besides, who can save to buy the aids when we’re too busy spending that money on cigs? Its a vicious cycle and I’m almost convinced the government likes it that way!
I wish I had never picked up my first cigarette and I don’t need self-righteous non-smokers to remind me of that. I get reminded of that everytime I smoke anywhere but in my own home or my own car.
Wish me luck, I’ll try again to quit…soon!
all u over weight people are a true health issue, but can you tell fatso to eat better, nope, you all want to be controlled by the goverment, but only if u agree, smokeing is legal, and this the land of the free, so you don’t like it, leave
I’m sure someone has said it before “no one loves a cigarette more than than me”, well, I coined that phrase :) I’m 54 years old and I quit smoking Feb. 27, 2007. I was 17 when I started and was a heavy smoker, 2 to 3 packs a day. I tryed so hard to quit over the years, I would go almost an entire day without a cigarette and then cave. I felt like a failure so often trying to quit that I said the heck with it, why torture myself. On Feb. 6th of 2007, my daughter had a beautiful little baby girl, Megan. My husband and I stayed with my daughter and her husband for a week to help out. After a few days my daughter came to me and said these words… “Mom, when you hold Megan, she smells like smoke”. OK, I knew how hard it was for my daughter to say that to me. That hurt me so bad. I told my daughter I was going to quit and it would be within a month. I have not touched a cigarette since Feb. 27, 2007. My husband, who has never smoked, was so happy. I feel so much better now! It’s good knowing my little granddaughter will have a smoke free grandma! Megan was such a good reason to quit smoking ;)
Being fat does not affect the air you breath. I could care less if you smoke I just don’t wish to breath it. I don’t like having to use an inhaler because you chose to stand by the door to a building I was entering.
Why do people bring up two wrongs to try to justify themselves? We are not talking about fat people. We are talking about smokers. I worked in an ER and we constantly had children coming in with lasting colds and flu’s due to their parents refusal to put their cigarettes down long enough for the poor child to recover. The child would be wheezing away and you could smell the stench of cigarettes on the parents and child’s clothing. I’ve never seen a case of lingering colds and flu’s due to the child’s parents being fat.
Smokers don’t want anyone telling them what to do but lets hope that they won’t burden their families when it all catches up to them and they end up sick and dependent.
I quit smoking the day my son (at age 2) picked up a cigarette from the ashtray and started pretend smoking. If that doesn’t shame you, what will?
I was a nervous wreck, wanting cigarettes every hour. I couldn’t even finish a meal at a restaurant or watch a movie without wanting to leave early to have a puff. Smoking is a total waste of time. After 3 miserable months, you forget you ever smoked.
We all die of something, be it stress, pollution, diet, heredity, toxins, nervousness, family medical history, disease, accident, or war. We all should remember that there is no such thing as another chance. No one has ever come back from the dead. We only have one life, and we should always enjoy each day as if it were the last.
You people piss me off. You have no right to harass me.
You have NO RIGHT to harass me. I’ll quit when I want to. Get out of my face.
In our PC world,its OK to do anything to a smoker to get him or her to quit under the guise of “its for their well being” and these same do-gooders support the right of women to kill their unborn children.
You have no idea why I smoke, and to insist that I stop is totally none of your business. I don’t smoke in public. I don’t smoke around people who object to it. I don’t even smoke in my own house if I know there are people coming over who might object or be adversely affected by it.
But I’ve been suffering from depression since I was 13. My mother committed suicide when I was 17. I am struggling daily to resist the temptation to drive into a bridge abutment. And yes, I’ve sought help, to no avail.
If smoking gets me through the day, is it anyone elses business but mine? Sure, it’s an addiction. And yes, it’s offensive to many…but I try not to offend.
You who insist that others quit have no idea what smoking might do for them. It might help them relieve stress, which is a real killer…and while lifting weights or doing cardio might be preferable, you have no idea what others might be struggling with.
You have a right to clean air, but don’t harass a smoker, thinking it’s best for them. It might actually be the only way they get through the day.
Uh this isn’t an abortion discussion, it is about smoking.
I think the argument many of you have made about other vices (overeating, drinking, etc.) are in some cases valid, but here’s the deal with smoking: when you smoke around others, whether they like it or not, they are breaking that crap in.
I’ll be completely honest: I freakin’ hate smokers. I resent them. My parents both smoke. They used to smoke in the house, in the car, even in my bedroom while I was asleep and couldn’t get away from it. I now have asthma and I get colds/flu all the time due to my weakened immune system.
If my parents were obese, that would not have directly affected me (unless I, too, picked up their bad habit). If they were alcoholics, perhaps that would’ve affected me, but the majority of parents who are casual drinkers don’t harm their children in any way and are wise enough to know not to drive while drunk.
Even after my doctor gave my parents explicit instructions not to smoke around me (which happened about four years after my asthma diagnosis), my dad will still smoke in the car when I’m with him. It still pisses me off.
If you want to smoke, go right ahead. I’m still going to think it’s absolutely disgusting and I will probably have far less respect for you than I would have if you were a non-smoker. If you smoke around your, or anyone else’s, children, though, I would personally call protective services. Anyone who smokes in the direct presence of their child is physically harming them and ought to be punishes.
…Did I mention I REALLY don’t like smokers?
In conclusion, smokers should keep in mind that while they do have the right to smoke, it doesn’t mean people aren’t going to hate it or even nag them about it. Myself, and many other non-smokers, WILL have less respect for you because you smoke. If you can’t show yourself a little respect or even respect those around you by not smelling like an ashtray all the time, we sure as hell aren’t going to respect you.
I smoked for 26 years and God help me I am still here. I am not a religious person but I prayed over the toilet as I broke and poured my freshly bought pack in the toilet. I used the patch, I figured that I needed the help, I was not going to be bold about it. I was serious, I was going to do it and not relapse.
I still miss it but I don’t think about it every day or every few hours as was my life before I quite.
I gained 60 lbs and was always too thin before I quite. So now I am an ex-smoker (and not a nasty ex-smoker) and a fatty. Now the family won’t leave me alone about my weight.
I have experienced childbirth, divorce , managing my disabled children and death of an ex-spouse and I have to say that quiting smoking was the hardest of all to endure, but I did it and with not one slip up. I still miss it but not enough to go back now.
You have to really want it.
Yes, ok for adults to harrass their friends. I started smoking late at a stressful time and a friend of mine harrassed me out of it. But not before I experienced just how addictive it is. This friend also provided me with lots of helpful quitting suggestions. It was an enlightened harrassement and it worked.
This is in response to Sad. Sad’s Father accourding to Sad, didn’t love her because he smoked and couldn’t afford braces for her. (The thinking being that if he didn’t smoke he would’ve had the money to buy her braces) Well he is dead…and his daughter blames him.
Sad…I feel badly for your Father. Did he feed you food growing up? I guess so as you are alive. Did he make sure your got an education? I guess so as you can read and write. Did he put a house over your head? That is 100’s of thousands of dollars worth of “stuff” he gave you because he apparently loved you. You repay him not with money of course…after all what child repays the 100’s of thousands of $$$ they consume from their parents? But you repay him by telling the world that he didn’t care about you or himself…BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GET BRACES? Aren’t you old enough to buy them yourself? What stupid crud are you wasting your money on that is not braces? Because apparently braces are more important to you than respect FOR YOUR DEAD FATHER.
It’s pretty “sad” to read really.
I am absolutely astounded at some of the things which I have read here. I am a smoker. I live in a state in which smoking is not allowed within 25′ of a door or window. I do not smoke anywhere indoors - not even in my own home. Nevertheless, there are those “holier than thou” people who continue to force their opinions on me. If you are so allergic to smoke that you cannot stand to have it anywhere near you outdoors, then you should probably stay home. The outdoors is full of fumes from autos, allergens, pollens, etc. Can you logically blame all of your problems on a smoker who is standing somewhere outside? I think not.
Some of you say that fat people do not affect anyone but themselves. Excuse me!! How many obese people are on disability??? In this case not only are they bleeding Social Security beyong its capacity, they are also receiving free medical treatment at taxpayers expense. We are all paying for their stupidity.
I encountered a man who was so obese that he had to get around in a wheel chair because his knees would no longer support him. Did he have a right to criticize me?
I was equally amazed at the person who said that it was OK for grandchildren to tell their grandparents that they were stupid for smoking. If I had a grandchild who said anything like that, I would seriously question the parents’ ability to raise children to be decent, caring people.
As long as I am not eating next to you in a restaurant or smoking in your home, you have absolutely no right to interfere. I am an adult. As such, I am completely aware that smoking is a horrible habit. However, some day I believe that good science will prove that, for some people, it is nearly impossible to quit. Trust me, I have tried.