Next week my three young sons and my husband (a teacher) go back to school. Like many people across the country, I feel the usual mix of stress and excitement about the transition. But next week is also the beginning of Ramadan, the monthlong fast for Muslims around the world, which adds another level of anticipation and anxiety—especially because each day I’ll be fasting longer than I ever have before.
The fast itself, which is one of the five “pillars” or central tenets of Islam, means forsaking food and drink (and smoking, sex, and anger) from sunrise to sundown each day; children, the elderly, pregnant women, and breast-feeding women, as well as people who are ill or traveling, are exempt.
Because the Muslim calendar is lunar, Ramadan (the ninth month), creeps forward every year by about 10 days. This year it will start and finish before daylight savings has ended, meaning longer days without food. On the first day of fasting next week, for example, we won’t break our fast (with water, dates, and a light supper) until 7:40 p.m. When I became a Muslim nine years ago, Ramadan fell smack during the shortest days of the year, so the fast ended as early as 4:15 p.m.; some days it felt like little more than skipping lunch.
This year, I will wake well before dawn to eat breakfast, drink my beloved coffee, and say my morning prayers. Then I’ll try to squeeze in another hour or two of sleep before rousing my boys, serving them breakfast, and seeing them off to school.
Then it’s time to work—without my habitual 11 a.m. second breakfast and late lunch. Getting work done in the afternoon when you’re fasting is painful. In countries where the majority of people are Muslim, offices often close in the afternoon during Ramadan, so people can go home and sleep.
The religious purposes of the fast are to help us build inner muscles of patience, self-discipline, and compassion for those in need. While I am looking forward to this special month, with its social get-togethers and opportunities for spiritual reflection, I also wonder how I can possibly manage to go without food while still taking care of my kids, working full-time, and getting the exercise I need to keep myself sane.
I’ve actually only fasted three complete Ramadans. During six of the nine years that I’ve been a Muslim, I was either pregnant or nursing. Last year was my first year fasting as a working mom. Boy, was it hard. This year, with an even heavier workload, and a plan to run a half-marathon in November, I worry about finding the energy I need to get through the day.
I am comforted, though, when I remember that millions of people around the world will be going through this with me. In that way, fasting for Ramadan reminds me of natural childbirth or Oprah running a marathon; it’s an extreme sport, but one that average people do every day.
So here’s my anxiety-management plan: First, relax and get into the religious spirit of the holiday. Second, cut back on work enough to allow for afternoon naps. And third, keep up with at least a light exercise schedule, maybe running two or three miles after the day’s fast is over and the kids are in bed.
Here’s hoping I can get through Ramadan with some deep breaths, patience, and the faith that I am capable of more than I can imagine.
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Comments (4)
I am rooting for you.. good luck !
I am fasting too but where work gets shorter for us.. very proud of you for going through with it..
I too am fasting this year and am also finding it very difficult. The demands placed on working mothers is extreme and the cooking requirements during Ramadan are also added pressure. (Not to mention doing clean-up until way after 10pm and waking at 5am to prepare Sahoor) I am just trying to focus on the purpose of the fasting (Paradise) and remember to focus on that!
Good Luck.. Ramadan Kareem!
I love your writing, keep it up!
I’ve fasted every Ramadan since I was 10. While this year will be the longest (I was based out of the Middle East most of my life, where the days are of relatively equal lenght)I find Ramadan very easy. In fact, my mood is only on the upswing most of the time. I’d recommend eating dates for suhoor – it eliminates or significantly reduces hunger and thirst. Occasional hunger and thirst is minimal – my colleagues are amazed at the good mood I’m in (as usual!) despite the significantly increased workload this fall. All I can say is fasting is very psychologically motivated – if you’re in the ‘zone’ which you as a marathon runner should know, you’re fine. Are you spiritually in the zone?