What do you do if you have a third grader who runs into traffic, saying he doesn’t want to live, just because he doesn’t get his way? Although it’s still a controversial diagnosis, some experts say that outbursts such as that, when accompanied with other symptoms, might be a sign of bipolar disorder, according to a heartwrenching article in the Sept. 14 issue of The New York Times Magazine.
In the article, this child’s raging fits of anger and extreme aggression made school nearly impossible, and after trying a series of medications, the family finally put the child, who is now a fifth grader, on lithium.
As a parent, it’s difficult even to contemplate putting a child on antipsychotic drugs, which can have serious side effects (and often haven’t been tested or FDA-approved for children.) It’s even worse if experts don’t agree on exactly what symptoms warrant treatment or how common the disorder is in children.
Either way, parents who have children with abnormally aggressive or violent behavior—toward themselves or others—need help in the doctor’s office and beyond.
Next page: Seven places to go for help
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Comments (30)
i think its really scary when
they do that…also its really
dangerous. i hope they get better
soon or someone can help them.
i wish them the best to get better.
Thank you for including CABF in your top 7, Theresa.
My child was recently diagnosed as bipolar (it’s been discussed for months, but it took hospitalization to make someone put it on paper). Bipolarkids.org (CABF) has been so helpful, but thanks for also posting additional sources.
For young children, drugs should be a LAST resort after many other steps including behavioral coaching, therapy, and parenting classes. Because doctors are paid by the drug companies for each perscription they are motivated to write them – even for children who can be helped in other ways. In-home behavioral coaches have been very effective for many children on a spectrum. For example, Noel Janis Norton (www.calmerparenting.com) has helped so many families in Los Angeles and in England (watch the BBC video on her website). It seems that once drugs are introduced, it becomes a slippery slope of more perscriptions to mitigate all side effects. My heart goes out to families who are heading down this path.
When our son who had previously been diagnosed as exclusively having high functioning autism, was then diagnosed as also having bipolar disorder, we found Dr. Rosalie Greenberg’s book, BIPOLAR KIDS, Helping Your Child Find Calm in the Mood Storm, a wonderful resource. It has been a most valuable guide for understanding not just his illness, but the medications and therapies which have been helpful in treating it.
I would like to know what residential facilities
are in Ohio for chidren. My grandson’s mental illness is getting worse and he may have to go to a residential facilities. I want to keep his guardianship, so that he is well cared for in this place.
I not only have 1 but 2 bipolar boys that are on a whole list of drugs to help but i am still having problems with the violent outrages and really dont want them to have to go back inpatient in the hospital again im not sure that was the right thing to do in the first place but dont really know where to turn to find the right advise or to know more facts on it
My son is 7 and has been diagnosed ADHD/ODD. I have been told that he can not be diagnosed bipolar because he doesn’t exhibit the typical manic symptoms found in adults. His therapist as well as myself clearly see manic symptoms. He is on a few different medications but none seem to really help. I am afraid that soon the school will not be able to accomodate him and I hate to see him in a self contained class room because he is very intelligent. I am getting worn down from his behavior. It is effecting our whole family. I am looking for support and guidance from other parents in similar situations.
Chrissy Decker-If you read this please consider checking out the CABF website. Their online support groups have been so helpful to our family as our 7 year old has been diagnosed with BP.
Bipolar disorder, from someone who has succeeded with it, is an extremely difficult problem to control. I’ve been on countless medications, took time off from college twice…. Eventually I got everything together. But I still stuggle ”
http://bipolarinmedschool.blogspot.com/
Bipolar disorder, from someone who has succeeded with it, is an extremely difficult problem to control. I’ve been on countless medications, took time off from college twice…. Eventually I got everything together. But I still stuggle ”
Read about it in my blog
http://bipolarinmedschool.blogspot.com/
i have a 10 year old son who is quite moody. HES VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO ME HIS MOTHER. RESPECTFUL TO OTHERS. HE DOES HAVE A HALF BROTHER WHO IS MENTALLY ILL SINCE THE AGE OF 14 . MY 10 YEAR OLD IS VERY MOUYHT TOWARDS ME WHAT TO DO . DO YOU THINK HE COULD BE BIPOLAR .
Hi, My 11 year old cousin can be very sweet one minute then the next she gets very moody and violent towards everyone including her little brothers and everyone in her way I am wondering if she could be BP her mother does not want her to be put on a whole bunch of medications or anyhing and shes confused about whether she should take her to the doctors so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know, Thank You
Thank you for the seven references for parents to go for help if they have a child with aggressive behavior issues and/or mental health problems. There are a three couples in our support group for families and friends of anyone with a mental illness who have children under 10 who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and who take medication. Usually, the first hurdle for the parents is to accept the fact that they are not “bad parents”. That stigma is difficult to overcome. The children have a mental illness, much like a physical illness like diabetes.
Tom Smith
Author of “A Balanced Life” and Co-Founder of the Karla Smith Foundation
http://karlasmithfoundation.org/
i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. if you have questions about what your kids are thinking i am one of them and willing to share and help. email me with questions.
ladygator014@gmail.com
my 15 yr old was just diagnosed with bipolar 7 or 8 months ago i am worried about my 9 year old son could he also develop this
I have two bipolar, OCD, ADHD, ODD sons, ages 5 and 8. They have been diagnosed and treated for over two years on medication and therapy. It really doesn’t seem to help. They fight terribly with eachother and I’m worried they’ll cause serious injury. I am close to completing my degree to be an RN because I know I will need it with them. I have tried to learn everything I can about it and am still struggling with discipline for aggressive and defiant behaviors. We are soon to have a school meeting for IEP’s and to determine learning disabilities. They were both extremely early talkers and score very high on verbal assessment but have only scored 88 and 90 on IQ, I don’t care, I know they are very bright but they aren’t achieving due to moods and behavior etc. Does anyone have any suggestions that have helped in reaching them on any level but especially about beating eachother so they might stop before someone gets really hurt. I know impulse control and rational goes out the window when they are mad but I need some ideas. I don’t like the thought of residential treatment and I don’t think it is warranted.
They can’t make med changes and determine much any quicker than can be done and home. If anyone has any time and beneficial ideas that have worked for them I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks! Teri
I have a 8 yr. old daughter who has ADHD and is on a patch called Daytrana 20 mg. I see that after or before the patch she is violent and moody….Could she also be bipolar. She hates noise and light, and has massive fits. Im worried about her What can I do>?????
I have a 10 year old son he is very bright and can have a very good heart. Seth was diagnosed at the age of 4 with ADHD, ODD and unoficial diagnoses at the age of 7 Bipolar disorder (they say they can not oficaly diagnose intill he is 13). We have tryed several types of meds. every kinda of ADHD/ODD combied with other meds 4 bipolar and they have recently re-interdused sequal witch i am shure will work 4 a while but the feeling of “not good enough” and “I cant do anything right ” are shure to return I am at my wits end becouse he hates even the thought of starting the meds again we have tryed everything the doctors keep telling me you have to be firm(and I am) you have to keep things the same (and they are) let him know that u love him, get the whole family involed (and we do). I go to the school at lest 1 a week to meet with the EC ,guidence and class room teacher and they keep telling me to hang in there.i just dont know what else to do!!!!! So dose any one have any ideas or advice?
WOW!!! I am not alone – so many times that is exactly how I feel. My son depending on who you talk to – his DR. which I agree with has diagnosed him Bipolar with ODD, but his counseler says he is just ADHD with ODD, as for meds, we have tried so many. For the last three years we have lucked out and he was also on the Daytrana patch, which worked well, but unfortunately since he is growing he out grew it and increasing the dose didn’t do anything for him. I know the frustration, the helplessness and I really wish I had answers for other parents, as well as for myself, but I don’t so I can only offer words of encouragement, that hopefully one day they will figure it out. What really floors me is there are so many kids with this and no one has any answers for us makes you wonder. I myself have decided to go back to school for psychology hoping that will one day help me to better understand what my son is going thru and maybe one day be able to offer answers and suggestions for other parents but as of right now I have just started school and don’t have any answers for me or anyone else. Yes I know the violence that comes from my son and he beats up my 7 year old all the time, so Teri I know the frustration and the worry about kids hurting eachother, I usually make my boys stay away from eachother, but it’s really hard when all they want to do is play with eachother. Right now my son is in a school called partial where he goes a psychiatric center but he’s home at night, they counsel him there and they do group therapy, I am praying this works because I got real tired of the school just suspending him for his behavior because his medication isn’t working. So I also know what it is like to have a child that is so called out of control, but I am sorry I have no answers for anyone. Because I like others am looking for help so bad right now and there just dosen’t seem to be any answers anywhere and I just don’t understand why there aren’t any.
Wow – so many of us have so many similarities. I too have a son – 9 years old, with an ADHD/ODD diagnosis and his doctors are considering Bipolar but don’t want to diagnose too early since Bipolar is normally onset during the teen years.
We have had too many med changes – and school changes – to count. His behavior is all over the place, sweet one minute and furious the next. It’s so scary!
Does anyone know of anymore resources, support groups, blog sites, or any other information??? Sometimes I feel so alone in trying to work through his many issues!
hi my 9 year old son has adhd but i know its bipolar and he has been on so many diffrent meds they dont help at all at times i dont know what to do cause he is always in trouble and some meds make him slow like he dont know what is going on i dont like him like that cause he has to go to school so what sould i do i need to know
I have a daughter 8years old diagnosed with adhd/and bipolar disorder and the doctors are considering autism. she is on so many meds and they are not working. she is happy one minute and distroying things the next.if any of her friends or cousines comes over she attacks them a few minutes after playing with them. she feels she has to hit kid she plays with.everytime i try to talk to her she runs.her teacher blames me for her behavior.that makes me feel like a bad parent because i have delt with this behavior since she was 3yrs old. this is only her first year at this school.HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH?
I AM OPEN TO ANY SUGGESTIONS AND ALWAYS GLAD TO HEAR FROM OTHER PARENTS WITH THE SAME SITUATION
my son is 8 he is not able to attend school.its really hard at times. he is on abilify.deproke,seriquel.clondine respidol.we take things day by day
I am bi-polar, my mom was bi-polar, 4 out of 7 siblings bi-polar. 2 of my 3 children are bi-polar, my mothers grand-mother hung her-self. My son was the youngest child at the age of 7 in 1986 to be labeled “bi-polar”. He still can’t accept that he needs meds. My 19 yr. old daughter is finally getting help again, I believe my 21 yr. old daughter has some sort of depression,too, as well as another sister–but of course, everyone needs help but them. Is bi-polar genetic? I don’t need millions of tax dollars spent on a test to figure it out, look at my family, and this just touches the service…
One of my 3 children presented with Bipolar at age eight. As a family we’ve tried everything to help our son get a handle on this unpredictable illness. Thankfully our pediatrician immediately forwarded us to a psychiatrist who deals with young children and has been very conservative in his treatment. After challenging ourselves with a variety of maintenance programs that kept our son drug free, for us it soon became clear that not going the medication route was a comfort to my husband and myself, but not necessarily providing our son wth the most relief. Our effected son is now 15, and smack dab in the middle of adolescence. This has at times made life for our entire family quite difficult. However, with a maintenance program that involves medication and on going weekly therapy we do celebrate stabilizing moments. We are much more hopeful that there is a possibility he may be able to live independently as an adult. This of course is the path we have chosen. You have to find the right one that works for you. Unlike many other debilitating illnesses you can’t see mental illness, you don’t walk with a limp, and often times it can go undetected. Our experience is that our child’s symptoms were typical, but as it progressed the illness at times almost appeared to take on a life of its own. The ups and downs have been stressful for the other siblings, and often times it’s as if the illness is in control of our whole family. I will never give up on our son, and I can speak for my other two sons that they will never give up on their brother. This is not an illness with any immediate cure, or will you wake up one day and it will be gone forever. My message to readers is that as the care giver to someone who suffers from this horrible illness when you think you’re alone YOU’RE NOT. I’m out there thinking of you, please do the same for me, and together we will find a way to help doctors and researchers find the key to unlock the mystery to this awful illness!
For the parents that have children who are both effected, and have difficulty getting along, if at all possible create individuall spaces for them. I know this is ideal, and that not everyone is afforded that luxory, but it could be a start. Also, you must establish boundaries that if violated have consequences. It has been my experience that with regard to physical violence towards each other I had better results when together with the psychiatrist and the children the consequences are determined and discussed. The child must admit that they understand that they have to be responsible for their actions, and if they violate the boundaries thaey will be held accountable. #1 you do this to insure their safety #2 you must to this as an example of what the expectations are in the world outside of your home. You don’t want your children to get comfortalbe using violence towards one another, and then demonstrating that behavior publically with others. Remember in most cases society doesn’t make excuses for children that suffer from mental disorders. Even though a good majority of these children don’t have a handle on impulse control. Sticking to it can be very difficult, and exhausting. The younger the children are when you establish these boundaries, the better. These will be methods of self mangement that your children will be able to use throughout their lives as they continue to be faced with relationship challenges.
My 10 year old son has been having troubles with increase in temper tantrams lately. During these episodes he will yell ‘I HATE YOU!” and run off somewhere to be alone. Yesterday he went as far as to hit his Grandma while throwing a fit, and then went and hit in a field. His Grandpa had to come home from work to find him. He is remorseful later, and other times he is so loveable. He can’t keep friends and is a loner at school. Does this sound like Bipolar Disorder?
My comment is to Emily. I commend to you on your bravery to blog on and share with us. Hats off to you that you are a survivor!! This is not a illness for whimps! My youngest son is also effected by this awful disease, and he is the toughest guy I know. He works at a steady life everyday sometimes to the point of exhaustion. I don’t discount for one minute the seriousnes of many diseases, but this one is right up there. People that deal with it as part of their everyday life don’t get the recognition they deserve. From me, you get a medal of honor. Your in the trenches and your doing it. One of the thing I have learned is that this illness also seems to effect often times very intelligent people. It sounds like you are one of those people with dreams for yourself. It may take you longer to acheive them, but take the time you need and never give up. Through blogs I have heard many different stories like your own. It gives me hope for my son. His struggle may not have an ending, but it gives me hope that he can find success and happiness. I look up into the night sky and chose stars for each of these people I read about. I make it a point to look up and give them a nod. Just to let them know that like you, your not alone and there are many of us out here pulling for you. Keep it up, your an inspiration to others.