Comments on: I Was Pregnant for a Week: Facing My Third Miscarriage

By: Racquel

Racquel — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 05:47:51 +0000

I found your story after I just experienced my third miscarriage as well. Your story gives me hope that we may have another healthy sibling for my nearly 3 year old son. After waiting a few cycles and trying again, my doctor suggests I begin taking progesterone once I get a positive pregnancy test. I wish you luck in your pregnancy! The posts are supportive in helping others like myself go through the grief of another miscarriage….

By: peg

peg — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 20:50:45 +0000

if you have had multiple miscariages you might want to ask the Dr to perform a blood test called leiden factor V., it is a blood clotting disorder that can cause multiple miscarriages……..most people don’t know they have it unless someone in the family has it. good luck!

By: Seven miscarriages

Seven miscarriages — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 08:32:30 +0000

Thank you for talking about this painfull topic. I am facing my 7th miscarriage and it never gets any easier; the grief, anger and frustration is just too overwellming to explain here. All my miscarriages happened between 6 and 8 weeks, somehow after we have the chance to hear the heart beat and fill ouselves with lots of hope, wham! the next ultrasound shows no heart activity and spotting comes right after with the enevitable… It does not make you feel like a women anymore, your self image is of damaged goods and anger towards those that are able to have what your body can’t. We are financially and medically clean, all kinds of tests and studies showed no conclusive cause. All we want is a reason or explanation why us, or why miscarriages are so frequent even after you hear the normal heart beat of 109 at 6 weeks?? Keep the hope and Good luck!

By: Katie

Katie — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:30:51 +0000

Dear Erica,
I am so sorry for your losses but thank you for sharing your feelings, I found myself nodding when reading ‘things not to say’. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the last 2.5 years and within the last year I have concieved and miscarried 3 times. My third is starting as we speak, and I am waiting anxiously for the severe cramping and restlesness to start. My first missed miscarriage was spotted at what I thought was a ten week scan (after a week of mild brown spotting), and the embryo had stopped at 7.5 weeks. The second was a very early miscarriage, it kind of took me by surprise and then this one. This one I was negative about from the start but after seeing the heartbeat at 6 weeks I started to go along with my husbands optimism. Soon after though my negative feelings came back and here we are again, waiting for the inevitable. At the same time, my best friend is expecting her little girl any day now and whilst I am so happy for her, it just makes me feel so much worse, especially when all the talk with my friends is about her baby. I am devastated this time and I get frustrated in my works attitude of ‘when will you be back at work’. Kind of carrying on as normal – but how can you put a time limit on grief? I haven’t felt like myself all of this year and am struggling now not to feel anger or frustration. I will follow your story and wish you the best of luck.

By: Nola

Nola — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 09:52:38 +0000

Your story is so touching and I am very sorry for your losses!

I have a son who is almost three and I have had two miscarriages in the last year! First time I was 12 weeks and the last time which was 5 weeks ago I was 8 weeks.
I just found out tonight that I am pregnant again! I am trying not to get too excited because I never thought it would happen twice and it did, so I can never be too sure about the third!
No one understands how it feels… well people may handle it differently but I look at my son and I just know that those two babies were just like him and that’s what it felt like I was losing!
My husband has felt bad and all but he doesn’t fully understand. I have decided that I am going to wait to announce my pregnancy to him and everyone else.

I am hoping this baby will wanna be a part of our family!
I wish you all the luck in the world and you are not alone… it happens to many!

By: mahalia

mahalia — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 02:57:57 +0000

I know exactly how you feel, I having been there three times. The only difference is that I have no children alive. The longest I have gone is five months and even with asprin, progesterone, a sutre (stitch of the cervix) bed rest, the babies died. Faith is not what I have now. I have been trying to conceive for nearly a year without success and giving up daily. I think maybe motherhood is just not for me ……. sad, angry, confused, depressed are just some of the words I can use to describe how I feel. Maybe one day I can hold my baby, but I am getting older, I am 35 and my eggs are aging as I type. Anyhow, it was just good to know that I am not alone in this.

By: Maggie

Maggie — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 19:26:49 +0000

I have never had a miscarriage, but my Mom did, back in 1961. She was pregnant with a girl at the time. Six months later, she went to the doctor, thinking she was going through “the change” as they called it back then (she was 41), and surprise! she was pregnant with me! If she had not miscarried her previous pregnancy, I would never be here. I myself had severe pre-eclampsia with my first pregnancy and my daughter was delivered by emergency C-section at 26 weeks gestation, weighing 1 pound, 8.25 ounces. Fourteen years later, she is a happy, healthly, beautiful, perfect young woman who brings joy to my life each and every day. The doctor told me I could get pregnant again but would never carry to term – I could go maybe 30 weeks and maybe have a 3 pound baby, but he/she might not be as healthy as my first preemie, plus I could be putting my life at risk as well. The stakes were just too high and my husband and I chose not to pursue having any more children, even though we had both wanted more. I am thankful and blessed for each day with my daughter. My husband and I constantly ask each other, “Do you know how lucky we are?” Sometimes there is a reason for what happens. Not bad for two gals (my daughter and myself) who were not supposed to be here!

By: Carol

Carol — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:31:52 +0000

Erica – I am so sorry for your losses. I too have had multiple early miscarriages (at least four). Later on I quit doing early pregancy tests, just waiting it out for a few weeks to see what happened. We lost two before our first son was born and two more after. I can totally relate to your anguish and difficulty in hoping that “this time will be different”. In our case, they did a ton of testing including genetics on my husband and I and they could never come up with a reason. I’m not sure if that made it worse or not, the thought that there wasn’t anything to “do” to improve our chances. We had pretty much given up on the fertility angle and were looking into international adoption when we got pregnant with identical girls. It was an extremely nerve racking pregnancy. (I think with our history of loss there isn’t any other kind.) But today we have healthy, happy 20 mos old twin girls. You won’t forget the ones you lost but the grief lessens a little over time. Good luck to you and your family. I’ll keep you in my prayers that what is supposed to happen will do so. You never know, you could end up like me – a 41 year old having twins!!:)

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:40:44 +0000

I know what you are feeling (I’m sorry if that sounds trite) My 1st child was the perfect pregnancy, a plump blonde angel who slept through the night a 5 weeks. When I became pregnant again when he was two months old I thought ‘Well, they’ll be close’ I lost my second child at 6 months. It turns out that I have something called ‘abruptio placenta’ & there’s not a damn thing they can do for it. When something like that happens all you think is that its your fault somehow; there’s no reasoning with you. I’ve heard all the platitudes, some kind, but most with no understanding that this was your child, too. “You’ll have another”; these aren’t shoes, damn it. By the grace of God I managed to hang on to my third pregnancy, my beautiful daughter, only to lose one more at 5 1/2 months a few years later. I truly believe its made me a better parent & a better teacher, though I wouldn’t wish the pain of it on anyone. By the way, my surviving children are 29 & 27; there were no support groups back in those dark ages. I was put in the geriatric ward to await my D&Cs so as not to upset the ‘real’ mothers (or so one nurse told me) You’ll never truly ‘get over it’, but you will look at the children that you have with different eyes, seeing the little ghosts, too. I wish your family all the luck in the world.

By: dkl

dkl — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:45:03 +0000

Twenty-plus years ago, my doctors told me that three (miscarriages, in this case) creates a pattern and can be treated. They were right in my case: with the help of Clomid and Projesterone, I now have a 23-year-old daugher and a 20-year-old son. (BTW, I had no desire to even try for a child #3.) Each miscarriage was devestating, but had I carried the first one to term, I would have some other 23-year-old child, and had I carried any one of them to term, I would not have my son. The day I realized that, I stopped grieving. The childred I bore are not “replacements,” they are the only ones I know. I would go through any number of miscarriages to keep these two perfect (yeah, well, you know what I mean:)) young adults.

Nothing anyone can say will reduce your grief. People know that and try anyway–and fail. Sometimes they fail in ways that come out hurtful. Let yourself be angry if you prefer, or take a deep breath and accept the comfort. And know that in 20+ years, you will look at your children and the love of what is will far outweigh the grief of what is not.