Comments on: What Not to Say to a Woman Who Has Miscarried, and How You Can Help

By: Carol

Carol — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 19:50:07 +0000

Very sorry to hear about your loss. It’s true, people can be so insensitive and clueless when they have not experienced the same grief. I also had a miscarriage before, and now that I am 14 weeks pregnant in a high risk pregnancy, and the fear of miscarrying is always in the back of my mind. My heart and prayers go out to you. I wish you the best of luck in your next attempt. Always remember that you are a fighter — especially on the days when you don’t feel like one. much love, carol

By: Melanie

Melanie — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:15:41 +0000

I sympathasize tremendously for any woman who has had to experience the loss of a child – born or unborn..

The irony is, for women who suffer miscarriages, it is the loss of their child, but women who choose abortions at potentially the same point of pregnancy, are exercizing their right to do what they want to “their bodies”.

By: DoulaDee

DoulaDee — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:58:35 +0000

Sending love and hugs…I’m here for you.

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 03:26:27 +0000

I am thinking of you every day. This article strikes a particular chord because I feel exactly the same way about the way people react to my grief over my father’s death. It’s been a WHOLE YEAR already. Patience is running thin.

A loss is a loss and everyone DOES grieve in his or her own way. I’m glad your bringing awareness to the issue of a miscarriage and/or stillbirth being a primary loss to the parents and, I think, especially the mother. I’m sure I’ve said some clueless things in my day, but I won’t ever again. There is a big dividing line between those who have grieved a major loss and those who have not. Those who have understand exactly what to say and what is needed. Those who have not shift around from foot to foot and try to create distractions. It might help you to know that I focus on having compassion for those people. One day, they too will be slammed with an almost unbearable grief. I envy their innocence, and hope they get to keep it as long as possible.

Lots of hugs!

By: Nicole S diGiorgio

Nicole S diGiorgio — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 07:19:13 +0000

Also—great article. At least know that you can help other women through this too and that through your pain you can help some other mamas through their own horrible losses. Hopefully that can act as a small healing balm for your soul.

By: Nicole S diGiorgio

Nicole S diGiorgio — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 07:16:40 +0000

Ooooooh! If you like to hear my voice I’m going to start leaving showtune messages. I went to a Fame highschool. ;)

And hey—the other day I wasn’t trying to imply you were too skinny—I was just trying to help you rationalize your depression-induced increased food intake. Which probably came out wrong. Get your booty to Red Lobster, why dontcha? Hmmm…that came.. out…wrong…too.

By: überburber

überburber — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 23:15:50 +0000

This is such an important and well-thought out article, Erica. I am sorry for your loss and impressed to no end by how grounded you are. Best wishes to you.

By: Sara

Sara — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:59:31 +0000

When I miscarried, I was so encouraged by the loving words from my friends at church. Many of them had experienced a loss of their own and knew what I needed to hear.