“What exactly is that?” I asked, propping up on my elbows on the examining table, scrutinizing the ultrasound monitor.
“That is a seven-week-old embryo with a heartbeat,” my doctor said.
“No, wait, is it human?” I asked, gasping for air, staring at the flickering heartbeat pulsing through the little body.
I couldn’t believe it. Two weeks before, I’d been diagnosed with a miscarriage—specifically, a chemical pregnancy. I’d raced to the doctor’s office after experiencing heavy cramping and bleeding, and an ultrasound seemed to confirm my gut feeling that my pregnancy was ending. There wasn’t an embryo where there should have been one. And yet, here I was, two weeks later, finding out that I was still pregnant.
I had spent the past two weeks saying goodbye to this pregnancy. My friends had taken me out and gotten me properly sauced. I purposely did everything a pregnant lady is not supposed to do—sucked down soft cheeses, exercised strenuously, and drowned my sorrow in wine and beer.
I’d even yearned for a D&C to end this “lost” pregnancy and clear the way for our next attempt at getting pregnant. Thank God I’d scheduled this second ultrasound before booking the surgery.
Because there was our embryo, with its tiny leg buds and that unmistakable heartbeat, alive and, apparently, human. It was simply a week “behind dates,” i.e., conceived much later in my cycle than we thought. And my bleeding and cramping? It turns out that I’m one of the of women who can experience that and not miscarry.
My husband and I are in a state of shock at this turn of events. And although I feel cautious about celebrating this news until the embryo lives past 10 weeks, we can’t help but feel excited and so incredibly lucky.
I hesitated to share this news publicly, because I am wary of sowing false hope for other women: Most miscarriages really are miscarriages. But I wish I’d known, as I fully embraced the grieving process after my miscarriage diagnosis two weeks ago, that this was a possibility.
Next page: How often does this happen?
Comments (41)
hello embryo! Not sure how I can still have tears spring to my eyes over this, but I do. I love miracles…especially when they happen to people who really need them.
Fingers tightly crossed, and enjoying the ultrasound pic.
(And BTW, I just want to applaud you once again for being brave enough to share your roller coaster ride with the greater world, and to do it so eloquently. The delicate combo of facts and real-life experience is much-needed in medical writing.)
Yep…Like I always say, “stay positive and wondeful things will surprise you”. It’s all about your outlook, you can be a victim or a survivor! Kudos to your little survivor! Keep us posted!
You are blessed.
What a wonderful post, and so detailed! So informative! I am so very, very pleased for you. This just made my day. I know this is a very rare thing, and I know how many women, myself inlcuded, hoped and prayed that this would happen for them. But I am glad that I read about it happening to someone! I mean, not glad that it happened to you, but you know what I mean…glad that when all hope was lost, you found some!
yaaaaay!
Wow, what a story. Congratulations, and big wishes for a happy and health pregnancy. Thank you for sharing your experience, which must have been have been rather traumatic. I can understand your wanting to take things slowly and gently.
warmly,
Coach Louise
http://www.lifebalanceinfertilitycoach.wordpress.com
what amazing news! Yay!!!
I was amazed and overcome with emotion when I read your article. I am very thankful, for the story you shared and for the information that confirms my every thought that all or at least many of my babies(5) were forced out of me from an over anxious doctor. My pregnancies were always confirmed and I followed through with appointments but the Doctor usually at the third month would tell me the baby died and immediately scheduled me for a D& C. I told my husband I was confused and I was pregnant or should I say I was not convinced the doctor knew the truth. I told my Mom the same and she intimidated me by saying the doctor knows best and I was stupid to think otherwise. My husband was as ignorant as me so I followed through each time with a D&C.When I became pregnant the 6th time the doctor did the same thing and this time I would not obey him. I stood my ground and did not have the D&C. As I made it past the third month the doctor insisted I have amniocentesis’s tests done and told me my baby would not make it because I miscarried all the times before. I ignored him and only kept my regular appointments. I carried my son and he was born perfect. To think I was being persuaded to abort him was unbelievable. I was sure now that I lost my other babied because I was ignorant and had no support from any one less ignorant than I. I never went back to that doctor and my son was delivered from a different doctor. The story can get longer but today I am grateful to hear the truth. Now I am comforted by your story that what I knew to be true was and is the truth. I am not crazy. Thank you and thank God for the technology of the internet that I am able to read your story. I am 51 now and times have changed and women are being listened to. My pregnancies were from the age 23 until 33.Thanks for listening.
I have experienced the same, only I was told that I had conceived fraternal twins, and that a few days up to almost 2 weeks apart.
My lost child had been placed low in my womb,… the baby we found after strenuously ultrasounding every nook of my uterus was way up, an indication that “it” was conceived close to the end of “possible”.
I, too, am grateful for that pe-D&C check, and that the doctor didn’t give up looking to be sure he’d really checked every inch, as painful as it was.
I still am sad I didn’t get the chance to meet my lost child, but am so grateful that I was able to keep “#2″.
I guess, this didn’t come across clearly… I hadn’t known about the twins before I had miscarried one.
I did have the shock of the empty uterus.
It stayed looking empty for ever so long.
Then the doc decided to use my ready to burst, full bladder as a means to get a clearer picture and there he was. My son Jonas.
Wow, wow wow, these stories are incredible. Thanks for sharing, ladies.
Erica, total congratulations to you and your husband! I am thrilled for you both! I am unfortunately like KIKI. I lost a twin…I guess! Now, I don’t know. I was 18 and told there had to be a twin that I had lost. No D&C was done because of previous micarriages and D&C’s. My doc said my body had already “cleaned” itself. I too am fortunate that I never had that particular one done. I have a beautiful son named Matthew who will be 19 in February 2009! Way to go Erica and hubby! Many happy blessings to you both!
Erica, I’m always happy to hear women share their misdiagnosed stories online. Many times a miscarriage is a miscarriage but every once in awhile they are misdiagnosed. Women just need to know that they can wait out a diagnosis if there are no complications and be certain before ending their pregnancies.
I look forward to following your pregnancy journey.
Kay
The Misdiagnosed Miscarriage Site
It is possible that she could have been carrying twins and one did miscarry. My experience was that I was having bleeding and yet tested positive for pregnancy. I was taken to surgery for a D & C where it was discovered that I was still pregnant. I carried that baby to term and delivered a healthy 8 lb baby boy. This was before there was ultrasound available. So there is every reason she can deliver a healthy child.
You are truly blessed. The same thing happened to me but unfortunately the pregnancy was in my tube. I was told I had miscarried and told to go home and rest and work through another disappointment. My levels kept going up after daily checks. Only to find out over a week later I was still pregnant but the heartbeat was in the tube. I wish you the very best and am so happy for your happy ending!
This exact thing happened to me! It is actually uncanny how our stories resemble each other. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and expecting a little boy at the end of the year.
I am super happy for you after having had misscarriages and then eventually a healthy baby, I can relate. I worry that when I try to have another child that more misscarriages may happen and iut is good to know that miracles happen. It is nice to be able to follow someones journey and know that there is hope.
All potential miscarriages need to be correlated with HCG levels, not seeing a baby does not necessarily mean a miscarriage-maybe just too early to see the embryo.As on OB nurse for 30 years I am concerned about turning to “wine and booze” to deal with the stress/grief of loss. Hopefully you will find healthier ways of grieving/stress relief when you are a parent-the literature is well documented that anyone wishing to be pregnant needs to have no alcohol even prior to conception.
I am 59 years old now. When I was 22, and 3 months into my first pregnancy, I began cramping horribly and the doctor immediately insisted on a D&C saying that the “fetus was no longer viable” due to several medical conditions and medications I was taking. I went through the procedure and no one allowed me to discuss the “baby”. I was told that God had corrected a mistake and to just get on with my life. Years later, at the age of 29, on my birthday, the same thing happened again, only this time I was 5 months along and bleeding profusely. The doctor assured me that the fetus was dead & would eventually pass out of my body on it’s own. Again, another D&C was required when weeks passed and nothing happened. And again, everyone refused to talk about that precious life, saying it wasn’t meant to be and I should erase it from my memory. Even my loving husband would gently “shhh” me if I wanted to discuss it…. the doctor had told him it was important I forget about the whole thing. However, in between those two lost pregnancies, a few months after I had the D&C for the first one, I woke up one morning violently nauseous and after a week of misery, I went to the OBGYN. I old him I “felt” pregnant. He took a blood test and several days later called to say I definitely wasn’t pregnant. As the weeks passed, the “pregnant” feelings continued and about 4 months into it I went back to the OBGYN. He told me, firmly, that I was having an “hysterical” (false) pregnancy & refused to do any additional testing, plus ordered my husband to make sure there was no more crazy talk about a baby. A week later, doubled up in pain, I went to a local osteopath MD. He looked at me and said it was probably normal pelvic expansion from the pregnancy! He had only looked at me & he saw a pregnancy. My husband go all flustered & explained it was all in my head. The doctor strapped a micrphone to my chest, and another around my belly, which were attached to speakers… then the sound of 2 different distinct heartbeats filled the room!!I returned to the OBGYN with my “proof”, and suddenly he and his partners surrounded me, demanding I abort this baby. They guaranteed me the child would be born dead, & horribly physically and mentally damaged if it lived at all. I left the office and went to another doctor…. & had my baby. She is now a teacher, has her Master’s degree, and is truly a beautiful, lovely woman. I eventually named my 2 “heavenly angels”, still wondering if there was something else I could have done to save them. For this past birthday, my daughter gave me a gold heart pendant, with 3 diamonds in it… one for each of my children.
I know a friend that this happened to her son’s girlfriend. The gal thought she had miscarried because she had been told that at the ER. Well, a couple of months went by and no period. She went to her doctor and discovered that she was now 4 months along. So confussing for a young woman. But God works in mysterous ways……a blessing from God’s own hands.
Thanks for your stories and the chance to comment.
This happened to me as well-an RN in my obstetrician’s practice informed me after an intital ultrasound tha I had miscarried. When I had a repeat ultrasound about a week later, I was told that there was indded a heartbeat. My daughter is 2 and a half now.
My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. I delivered another baby and then was pregnant with a 3rd. I was bleeding heavily and passed some “tissue”. The doctor on call wanted to schedule a D & C immediately and became angry when I said no. I wanted to see my doctor and I didn’t believe him. It turns out the tissue was a polyp and my baby lived.
a similar story~
After hours of uncontrolled bleeding, I was scheduled for a D&C. My doctor, Dr Block, arrived at the ER as I was being sent into the OR and said, ” NO! STOP! I want an ultasound!”
I’m off to the bus stop to pick up my beautiful boy (the boy he saved) right now.
Always check and never be afraid to ask questions!
Very scary story. And yes..it is Always a good idea to have a follow-up ultrasound..but just be cautious not to wait to long. I suffered a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I started bleeding early on and just though maybe it would stop. Finally..I got an ultrasound which showed no fetus. But..I almost died (from heavy internal bleeding) becuase I waited so long. Then I was diagnosed with what is called as “molar pregnancy” which is a total even more scarier story. But the point is is that if you are told you miscarried and are experiencing constant heavy bleeding..then it’s time to accept it and schedule a D&C. But I do think its scary that a doctor wouldn’t perform a follow-up ultrasound before D&C. Most good docs would.
Erica, I truly hope and pray that your pregnancy continues to term and you are blessed with the precious life for which you yearn. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish I had had this information three years ago. It might or might not have made a difference but even before I read your story I had questions and lingering doubts. I have other children so I am comforted by that. Best of luck!
Denise
Same thing happened to me. I wonder if in some of these cases whether the doctor is an OB or an MD the MD told me “you’re miscarrying, go home, come back in 2 weeks and we can discuss birth control” (My pregnancy was unplanned). My daughter will be 2 next month. Good luck to all the mothers that want babies, we need all the mothers that plan and want their pregnancies that we can get!
Thanks for sharing ladies. I, too, suffered multiple miscarriages. My doctor (bless her heart) played the wait and see game with me both times. Both times I lived two or three gut wrenching weeks of almmost pregnancy just to be sure. Both times my body gave me the same no go answer. So when the third pregnancy seemed to be going awry, she tried to soften the blow by telling me my numbers were down and that this pregnancy again might not be viable , but we would wait and see. This wait and see baby is almost 10 and I still see the same doctor. She not only believed in me and my power to be pregnant, she believed in giving all of my babies (3 lost to miscarriage and the 2 angels that refuse to clean up their rooms) every chance.
When I found out I was pregnant with our second child I was so excited but then the horrible cramping and bleeding started and was told that I too miscarried – my doctor went ahead and set up for a D&C for about a week and half later. In that time I just couldn’t believe it and rescheduled a sonogram a day before the D&C was suppose to happen and I am so glad I listened to myself and not the doctors because now I have a beautiful 6 year old little girl who to me is a blessing! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
So many beautiful stories. Ladies, remember it is us who know our bodies best. Trust your instincts, go with your gut- if your doctor tells you something that doesn’t sit too well with you-PLEASE-PLEASE get a second or third opinion. The best feeling in the world comes from holding your child in your arms. I should know, I have two, who have in turn, blessed me with nine grandchildren. Nothing compares with a child’s hug. There is nothing better!
Hi Ladies,
I’ve been having moderate bleeding for a week now i have had 2 previous ultra sound scans with viable gestational sac and yolk sacs, they say its too early to hear a heartbeat. i went back to the er today because i have been starting to clot, they just told me i have miscarried and discharged me as a complete miscarriage,but what she told me was that it has started coming away and even asked me if i had a previous pic of the last scan to compare it her picture too. that tells me gestational sac is still there otherwise there is nothing to compare it too. i have another uss booked in a week i pray for a miracle.
I have had 2 miscarriages in the past year. I did not bleed or have cramping for either one. My last on was diagnosed durring my weekly ultrasound. The baby’s heart had stopped, I didn’t believe the dr. we waited a few days and another ultrasound confirmed.. no heart beat. I had a D&C and the baby was sent for gentic testing and found out he or she had a complete double set of genes, I was also diagnosed with Facor 5 Leiden. 3 inseminations later and we still aren’t pregnant but reading your stories has given me hope!
Thanks
Incredible how many others have gone through variations of my experience. Thank you so much for sharing your stories, and I encourage others to keep posting.
As for the “booze” I alluded to in the post, I was glad to learn that the pregnancy was too early for the alcohol to have effected the baby. Worth further research though…
I had an artificial insimination on December 23rd Now on January 6th I took a pregnancy test that says”Pregnant” I got so excited. I wrapped the test in a gift box and gave it to my husband. I went to the doctor and they told me that I have a decreasing hcg and might be having a chemical pregnancy. I am devastated. She said to come back Monday To verify the levels? But I am afraid of putting my hopes too high? Anyone outhere knows a succesful outcome of a similar situation?
I can’t believe this its unbelieveable, however was told i had a miscarriage in December but i feel something in my stomach but i dont know what so i have got to go the hospial soon for an ultrasound, fingers crossed this has happened to me to, i willl let you know, i hope so, lads please get your fingers crossed for me and mine will be crossed for you too.
Speak to you soon…
Hey im jess, i was told i suffered a misscarriage on boxing day at 8 weeks, and yesturday morning took a pregnancy test as i still have no period and its positive it was the clear blue digital one and its has come up 3+ and in the instructions tht is the highest result and can mean u can be up to well 3 months so now the doctors are wondering if i have had a misscarriage, got scan 2moro not sure what to exspect may just have caught quickly, i very pleased 4 u hope everything goes well x x
I have been reading these comments all morning…i need some help!
i went in On Feb. 5th for my 9th week u/s-the baby measured just under 8 weeks 7 they said there was no heartbeat. (however by my calculations, i would have only been 7 weeks at the u/s) i have chosen to naturally miscarry after a long grueling over a week…i have no cramping, bleeding, spotting. the doctor’s office has called me very concerned & i feel they are still pushing this d&c. i told them there is NO way i was doing that until my body told me so. i still feel pregnant…very sore breasts, tired, ect.
any suggestions??
I was told that I had lost my baby I was 2 months and my belly keeps gettin bigger and I still have strong cravings could I still be pregnet r am I just wishin
Hi i am very much new to this website i had 3 m/c in a row with in one year… do u any one think i can give birth to healthy baby and doctor did research on me everything looks fine there is no reason why this is happening to me and this is my frist pregnancy ..actually i am blood group is b- and husband is o+ do u any one think this the reason iam getting bad to think about all this pls any one can help me on this
I was pregnant with twin and they told me i had miscarried both but my stomach is still growing and i feel movement i dont know what 2 do i am so confused
Incredible how many others have gone through variations of my experience. Thank you so much for sharing your stories, and I encourage others to keep posting.
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my website: http://www.chaiselounge.info
I was told this past Monday that I had an incomplete miscarriage at the ER. I was bleeding more so than just spotting and a few clots. I didnt have any cramping or backache. The bleeding stopped later that day, i now have just brown reminence. I had a pelvic exam though. They also gave me 2 ultrasounds (which they said no heartbeat). Im not sure how far along i really am but i think im 6 weeks. and at 6 weeks, is there a heartbeat yet?? I have high hopes that it was misdiagnosed but im not sure if i want to go through the heartache again by another doctor telling me it is gone. this is/wouldve been my 2nd baby. Im not sure what to do?! make an appointment with a gyno or just let it be.