As the resident boob blogger at Health magazine, I get all sorts of interesting email, complete with questionable grammar. Last week’s winner was a press release titled, “Larger Breast without surgery, creams, vitamins or herbs, is it possible?” Well, apparently, it is possible to boost your boobs by hypnotizing them, according to William Schneider, DC, a holistic physician and acupuncturist who founded the company AcuAids.
Interesting. I’d like to hypnotize my rack to clean the house and do the shopping while I’m sleeping (you can see how mundane my dreams are), but that’s about as likely to happen as a jump in cup size. Or is it?
According to Schneider, the AcuAids breast enlargement kit ($39.99) combines therapies—hypnosis, neuroprogramming, and acupressure—that train “your mind to make changes in your body such as enlarging the breast.” How does that work? The claim is that hypnosis and sound-wave therapy delivered via a CD and DVD help you subconsciously focus your mind’s power to increase blood flow to your breasts, while small magnetic dots placed on your skin stimulate flow too (like an acupuncture needle would). More blood flow equals bigger, better breasts.
Well, we do know that hypnosis can help smokers quit. And hypnotist Adam Eason cites plenty of studies (although rather dated) that support hypnosis as a way to boost your bosom. Sounds to me like the classic “We must, we must, we must, we must increase our bust” mantra—but with magnets instead of the signature hand movement.
I guess I don’t get it. If I’m going to spend time visualizing something, it’s far more likely to be world peace than a 36C. But then, I’m not one of the millions of women who’ve gone under the knife for bigger boobs (more than 400,000 breast augmentation procedures were performed last year), nor do I have any plans to do so. If anything, I’d like to shrink my boobage.
Happily, I just found out I may have been decreasing my décolletage without even trying. New research, widely reported last week, revealed that coffee drinking can affect boob size. The news came from Helena Jernstroem, a lecturer in experimental oncology at Lund University in Sweden, the same researcher who reported earlier this year that caffeine could cut breast cancer risks.
Apparently three cups a day is the magic number I should guzzle if I’m trying to reduce my cup size—and more than that will hike the shrinkage. Hooray! But, uh-oh, coffee drinking seems to increase breast size in men, and that’s bad news, particularly for my husband, who puts away several cups a day. The last thing he wants is a nasty pair of man-boobs. If that happens, maybe I can find a hypnosis CD that will help him shrink his “moobs”—and remind him to take out the garbage.
(PHOTO: ISTOCKPHOTO/HEALTH)
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