With two children under 5 years of age, our family gets invited to a lot of birthday parties. Since the beginning of school, we have been to at least one celebration every other week. The themes are similar and so are the treats—cakes and ice cream laden with allergens our son Graeme can’t have.
Typically, we come prepared with allergen-free cookies and crackers. Since it’s our child who has the food allergies, we feel the burden is on us—not the hosts—to provide treats Graeme can eat. Besides, in the Deep South, organizing an autumn birthday party already requires significant accommodation between football games and naps.
But occasionally a parent will surprise and humble us. Recently, our friend Pam’s oldest child turned 5. Amidst the chaos and clamor of the party’s main course, Pam produced rice crackers for Graeme and whole wheat Goldfish for a little girl with an intolerance to cheese and other foods. She also replaced the candy in their goody bags with toys.
I was touched. Pam had done her homework. She had also called the other parents to see if there were any allergies, and if so, asked what she could safely serve their children.
Some allergy groups tell parents and schools not to serve food at parties that kids with food allergies might attend. But I worry this sends the wrong message. At 2, Graeme isn’t likely to notice that there’s no cake because he’s allergic to eggs and wheat.
But the little girl with food-tolerance issues is nearly 5 years old and, according to her mother, already aware of how her sensitivities make her stand out. As both kids get older, they could blame themselves—or worse, other kids could blame them—for accommodations that may take all the fun out of events.
By taking a little extra time and energy, our friend found a simple way to spread the birthday magic around to all the partygoers—including two sets of grateful parents.
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